Dead
Ends
Are
Dead
Ends,
Not
Dead
Souls.

There was no glass in any of the windows.
There was no shelter from the blistering snow.
There was no particular spot in the room that could've,
Or would've, saved them.
There was no safe place to go.

As I said goodbye
I felt the tears about to fall.
So I scuttled away into the hole,
But as soon as I had left
I fell into that trap.
The old one, where you feel nothing but fear.

I had to get out and just stand for a while
But it took me all the strength that I had.
So I shut my eyes loosely
And I thought about things.
Anything that could take me away,
Just something to take me away.

Someone tell me there's a place
Where people go to and feel better.
I wish to go there as soon as I can.
I'm just tired of this life, I'm not living.
Days just fall into each other and
I just want to be alone.

I'm walking swiftly
As if to say I don't wish to talk but
The truth is that I want nothing more.
I'm so scared of opening up, though,
Because I should be happy, you know,
But there's just nothing to be happy about.

All of these thoughts they just fade into each other
But I know one feeling is standing out strong.
So I shut my eyes loosely
And I think about things.
Anything that can take me away,
Just something to take me away.

I'm going to have to start working at home.
Well, I say home but it’s not home as I know it.
It’s where I reside, temporarily. It’s where I
Sit in my room, alone, while others live.
I don’t mind it in the slightest, it’s quite refreshing.
Where was I? Right, I remember: working at home.
I'm finding myself being followed by an old fiend.
I'm not sure what it’s related to. My blood pressure?
I know it’s low in general, which is never a problem.
I just find myself in states where I cannot work.
I sit here, pretending to type – in fact I just type
Nonsense. I don’t want to admit that I'm not working.
Who would?
I don’t want to explain because I'm not sure myself.
It’s not permanent. It just comes as it pleases.
Blurred vision, I suppose that’s what it is.
It keeps me from working for a good twenty minutes
At a time. It adds up to quite a lot in a day, in a week.
I'm going to have to start working at home. Great.

I've said my goodbyes, my farewells.
I've done all I could, all I wanted.
All that's left now are pieces, are thoughts.
No regrets, no such thing.

I've left my markings, my last words.
I've scrolled my last page, my last click.
All that's left now are fragments, are friends.
Not mine, no such thing.

People take goodbyes for granted.
If I could only just have one, just one goodbye.
They say goodbyes aren't needed.
That to say goodbye is to let them go, let them leave.
The important ones never leave you, with or
Without a goodbye.

People say goodbyes are painful.
If I could only feel that once, just this one time.
They don't know it hurts me so.
That to have no goodbye is not comfort, is not grief.
It lingers and it never leaves me, with or
Without a goodbye.

I have thought of you often, I have thought about time.
The time that I've waited, the time that's not mine.
I cannot control it nor you and your heart,
The patience I hold has no end, just a start.

I hold visions of you, I hold visions of us.
The us that I long for, the us that I trust.
I cannot demand it nor you and your mind,
The hope that I hold will wait here, give it time.