nineteen
cigarette burns
keep your chin up
because blood is only temporary
skin on skin
what is within
is butterfly wings
and your wings aren't clipped
like a bird's
they flow like poetic words
and f. scott fitzgerald taught me
how to be desperately in love
with what i can't have
or maybe i taught myself
great gatsby only broke
and probably not so great
smile so bright that you blind them
and the ghettos scream with light
because you might not win
but ****, will you learn

My eyes are mirrors with a vein connected straight to my heart
And when I see your soul it reflects back in mine
And breaks my heart all over again
Lover in love with another girl
I want to cry but I keep it crackling inside
I don't want to care but I do
In my closest, hidden caverns I hide a vile idea
Vile for me in the least
That you will come back to me someday
I can't help but love you even when I hate you
Drowning in memories I cannot hold for more than a moment
This is my forever downfall

I love the random little freckles
I find all over your body
like they are little smiles from your soul
and all the places the angels kissed you.
I love how a whisper from you
from over the telephone
can make me shiver
and feel like you're here in bed with me,
nibbling on my ear.
I love your eyes and the way
passion pulses through your blood
and into your pupils,
palpitating my essence.
I love how you don't notice your wings
or your sparkle
or your halo
or your illustrious blooming inner being.

You are my spirituality, and I have seen Heaven.
And It Is You.

Glow
Hold On
Let your rhythm light your world
Thunder clashes
Life smashes
Your happiness crashes
Smoking little ember in the rain
Orange gold
Begging to hold
Onto something a little
Concrete

Yearn
Slow Burn
Kiss the wet pavement dry
Rosy peach
You can't reach
Life feels like a leech
Bright little ember in the rain
Glimmer like hope
Don't worry you'll choke
Just sing out like a fire
In the rain

White wooden frame
on a summer day
and Grandma is giggling
and the world is sitting right
and the axis is like a ballerina
graceful and gloriously smooth
and beautiful.
Your happy tears are a waterfall.
I was crying and praying,
wishing I could just sing
and now I'm smiling in my sleep
because even if things aren't okay
I know they will be;
graceful and gloriously smooth
and beautiful.

If you are down
on yourself
and all you see is flaws
and bad things
and you wonder why you are you
just remember that
all that glitters is not gold
and that stained glass is actually beautiful.

The head rush always ends
with the screeching halt of brakes
and the 2AM loneliness
that reminds me we all die alone
and maybe this time
I'll give it all up finally
and throw away the dice
because although I am playing the game
I am always getting played
and I'm so tired of hurting
just for trying with a smile
so **** fate and its laughter
because I am not a joke.

Daisies in hair, freckles in laugh,
Summer camp dandelions,
Bubbles in the air.
Cling like a koala to your back
So I can fight off the pirates
And the dinosaurs
And the giant squid
And my mother's meatloaf.
Where do teachers go at night?
Do they sleep in their classrooms?
This caterpillar is my new best friend.
But so is this firefly. But not that moth.
Roll down hill into mud puddles of chocolate goo.
Sing songs and jump on clouds like trampolines.
Mouth like an innocent firecracker; 3-2-1 blast off.
Kissed and tucked and loved into bed.
Dreaming of how good we're going to have it,
Not knowing that we already did.

You make me remember
why all of them
didn't work out before,
And I hope you don't become
one of;
Just let me soak in
your serenade
and revel in this reverie.
The brightest name in my dreams
is yours now and I hope
it will become the last name on my lips
each night.

Please.

I need to remember that I can be loved
and I will remember by loving you.

Invincibility seen in transparent angel wings
That I only saw through green smoke Friday night.
We're going on nineteen and we aren't scared of anything;
Because we think everything is just to "scare" us.
Just a red light screaming through a golden window,
Just a ghost behind a closet, a man dressed in a sheet.
When will we finally be afraid?
What do we consider real failure, real fear?
We are invincible with angel wings we don't even see.
Maybe we can't see them because they aren't real.

Blue and yellow irises
I wish flowers grew out my fingertips
And that's why I write poetry
So they almost do
Living not day to day
But daydream to daydream
A laugh that echoes for miles
So much so it's embarrassing
A secret sadness buried
That surfaced only at eighteen
But I'm turning weakness into wonder
Floating upward instead of sinking below
Crazy hair and freckled skin
And a soul that feels too hard
Always loud and headstrong
Feeling invisible angel wings of spirituality
Because there's always Something Greater
Hungry for loving and living and everything
I want to ride an elephant
And see these words printed in a book
And fall in love again
And if I can't make the whole world beautiful, I will make my own.

Everything looks beautiful far away
And the heat distorts the street
So it looks like water on the horizon
In the summertime
And people go mad with desire
For matter that doesn't exist
You loved this idea of a person
And you never even held them up close
Cry all you want but the love of your mind
Will never be alive
People are human and humans are flawed
Dream of the perfect mirage
Go insane with absolute want
Just keep running to the horizon to have it
You will run forever

It's getting easier, words I never thought to write.
But people are looking at me and listening
To all the words I have to say.
And they're giving a ****, they're really giving a ****,
And they aren't looking at me like I'm crazy
Or like I just need excuses to **** around.
They are looking at me like they know me the way they know themselves.
They aren't telling me what I'm doing wrong.
They aren't telling me what I should be.
They're showing me all the people who made it out the other side,
And showing me I can be there, too,
And that it's beautiful.
And that's beautiful.
I can't stop crying but no longer because I am so sad,
Because I'm so happy to be reminded that I can really be happy;
Not again, but better.
I can't stop crying because of all the people who didn't believe me,
And who made me not believe myself.
He just looked at me and said
"How could anyone go through just a part of what you have and not feel this way?
You're so strong and we're going to help you, and you will be okay."
And for the first time in a year, someone told me that I will be okay,
And I actually believed them.
And that's why I can't stop crying.
Because I'm going to actually be okay.

In a way, I am glad my heart can be broken
Just like I am glad in a way to throw up at 7 A.M.
Because it means I was drunk last night
It ***** but you got to hold something
Not just something but something good
A heart doesn't break from hatred but an absence of love
So we should not cry into our hands
But kiss our fingers

You better ******* sprint your *** towards that exit sign,
And grab your god by the hair,
Because after a while everybody just nods and doesn't really listen,
And everybody's sorry but doesn't really care.
I'm so sad but I can't even care enough to cry,
For myself or for all my **** on my shoulders.
I may not carry the weight of the world but I carry the weight of mine,
And that's enough to bury me six feet under in emotions,
So that should tell you a little bit about me.
People stand around muttering about kids these days,
When we actually try really hard to be good people,
But they set up a world for us that never lets us win; or lets everybody win.
And that's why we smoke **** and get drunk so we can just be happy for a little while.
And that's why we cut ourselves; for trying our hardest but not succeeding.
We never feel like we are enough for anyone, not even ourselves.
Mom and Dad are slamming the back door screaming about grades,
And our friends pretend they give a **** when they don't.
People in black stand around crying about all the young people dying,
Because when your body's in a coffin, suddenly everybody is nodding and really listening,
And everybody is saying how sorry they are and actually meaning it.
Mom and Dad and all our friends can't stop sobbing how much they loved us.
I tried ******* sprinting for the exit sign so I could live a good life but there was too much in the way.
So I'll be in the bathtub carving my own exit sign, out of my wrists and razors.
I'll grab my god by the hair and scream in his face because I only got one chance at this,
And I didn't even get to live.

Out the cobweb front door,
She fell holding her baby.
A sweet young thing all wrapped up,
And an infant.
She asked me for a hand,
But I lost both of mine in the war.
So she asked for a foot,
But I am in a wheelchair.
So for a while we both sat and cried
Together, and cried for where we were stuck.
And the baby just smiled and looked at the sky,
While we waited for thunder and cried.

Now I remember all those times I drunk cried
For people who didn't love me
And how I finally felt like an arrow
Being pulled back
Ready at any moment to fly
But even when I have wings
That I made with my hands
And pulled out of sadness
People don't love me
And all I can think sober in bed
Is how much I wish I could just be drunk

Underneath the lime tree
In hearts of sparkly sixteen
Two loverbirds exploded
Into cosmic effervescence
And there were no surprises
All they could see were sparks
Nobody cared at all
They were special, lucky
Forever dazzled by first love
Sometimes I wish I had more than ashes
Memorial urn with dead roots
But we belong elsewhere each
And my words belong to someone who cares
Goodbye, boy
I will always miss that you

You're always ******* hurting someone.
Why can't you just love a person?
Maybe you're not human.
But when I was with you,
I felt the most human I have ever felt.
Now she doesn't even know.
I cried into my pillow, but she's smiling in her sleep.
Unaware of the heartbreak you performed
Behind her back.
And if you ever pick up the phone to call me
And see how I have been,
You can be sure to hear the dial-tone
Just as quickly as you bit us all.

You're just a fever with a dragon's head, and you broke my heart like in a bad movie. You swore you'd take a bullet for me when you're the one who always held the gun. I'm afraid he will promise everything you did, and give me deja vu. Deja Entendu. One song we sang when we were in love and another became my favorite heartbreak lullaby; say goodbye. I hate you. If my memory came walking through the front door with flowers in his hands, I would crawl right back. Let you bruise my soul until it rang out blue and black. Kiss me on the sidewalk and give me a heart attack. Valentine lover has his hands on my face. My fingers are made of mornings and my heart is made of lace. Transparent, heart on sleeve, please just give me what I need, I'm vulnerable and I'm fluttering.

Blood of a blueberry gushing down with tears.
Simple song and a car ride, maybe I feel something.
Your textual messages arouse my soul.
I helped my dad **** the front garden and we found a praying mantis.
Babies go from hopscotch to jumping street lines.
Blue glitter nail polish on a white coffee table.
I made an alien out of Play-Doh yesterday.
Wanting has driven me insane.
Chapstick, skim milk, platypus, wooden door,
Tickle me until I cry.
I don't know what anything means,
Least of all, this poem.

We are the planet of flowers,
Kissing sunlight and eating up love,
Maybe this summer is what life is about,
Because everything could change.
The sky is pink and there is sand all over my toes,
My friend and I laughing with marijuana in our eyes.
Growing up to nineteen, praying it's better than eighteen,
You and I are just kids with too much art in our hearts
In a world where intelligence is only counted in test scores,
But **** them; we're smart. I'm bright as a star.
He's so coy and he makes me want to be more
Than I ever imagined I could be.
A brain turned me into a bitter pill, and now I take one to be happy.
Like a cell to a simple organism, I will unfold.
Freckled like my skin, dense as a bone,
Mountain-top shivers will guide me home.
I loved you, but now I love me more.

Klementine Applemeyer knows ballet
And she says Jesus Christ lives down her street
I don’t believe her but she promises me
That she played him in Monopoly
And he cheated as the banker

Klementine Applemeyer knows how to jump rope
And she says it’s like escaping snakes in a jungle
I don’t believe her but she promises me
She explored the Amazon at age five
And next year she’s going again

Klementine Applemeyer knows how to French-kiss
And she says her daddy’s friend taught her
I don’t believe her but she promises me
His hair is purple and his feet are red
And his breath tasted like onions

Klementine Applemeyer knows how to time travel
And she says she met Vincent Van Gogh
I don’t believe her but she promises me
She took his ear and it’s in her desk drawer
And it’s in a little pink box

Klementine Applemeyer knows about Mr. Henry
And she says he felt her ******* after math
I don’t believe her but she promises me
He wore three rings
And his nails were bitten

Klementine Applemeyer knows how to throw up
And she says it makes her feel better
I don’t believe her but she promises me
Her gag reflex is strong
And her ******* is even stronger

Klementine Applemeyer knows how to roll a blunt
And she says it’s easier than ***
I don’t believe her but when I ask her
If it was her daddy’s friend again
She gets quiet

Klementine Applemeyer knows how to be generous
And she gave me her bike and Van Gogh’s ear
I don’t believe her but she promises me
My birthday has come early
And the ear is Vincent’s

Klementine Applemeyer slit her wrists in the bathtub
And a man with purple hair and red shoes was at the funeral
I didn’t believe her even when she told me
But there was an ear in the box, her neighbor was named Jesus Christ,
She had seen the Amazon, and Mr. Henry’s nails were bitten

You’ve got dirt under your fingernails
But I like it that way
Because then I know you have stories
Just like I have gum stuck to the bottom of my shoes
Floss your teeth so my heart can pretend
My lips are the first yours ever saw
And my tongue can count your teeth
Like your night-time whispers
You will strum your guitar
I will think of my father
But your hands hold no bottle
You will live to keep things clean
I will think of my mother
But you won’t yell at me
I don’t need much if I have you
Just promise me that’s okay

Lucky breather
Lucky dreamer
Smiling face above the water
Free-floating swimmer just letting flow
The water where the riptide goes
Ride the wave and taste the foam
Salty laughter tears hit home
Hold your breath, drift to the top
Instead of sinking like a rock
Not constricted in a pool
Smiling swimmer, laughing fool
If you fight the current you will drown
So you smile instead of frown
Let the tides pull you where they wish
Happy human like a fish
Wiggle your toes through the waves
Seeing silver-lining sea-storm saves
Lucky angel
Lucky seashell

Dog-ear the pages of my soul
Highlight your favorite parts
I want to be your favorite book
Memorize my lines by heart
Stain my words with tears
Use a flashlight after dark
Don’t leave me in crisp condition
Love me until I tear apart
In this library of soulmates
You’re the only book I want to read
We’ll kiss until our words fall out
Until our covers start to bleed
Your lips taste like poetry
Your mind is a fantasy dream
I’ll read you straight through the whole night
Until I fall asleep

Sweetheart silent killer manifests all inside my mind,
The moon’s a magnifying glass as it rises in the sky.
At 2 a.m. it giggles, a thick knife in its teeth,
And drops it down into my head as I lie underneath.
The glass I keep so carefully to remain ***** in the day,
Shatters and releases a burning, breathing self-assay.
A kaleidoscope catoptric, all frets out in the free,
A band of thought-filled thieves invade to steal my sleep from me.
Tossing and turning beneath the stars, I’ll wait til I burn out,
At night my brain is flooding and in daylight there’s a drought.
Lullaby myself with tears, wake up way too late,
Stuck as an insomniac, suicide’s sweet bait.
I wish I was an autumn leaf, I’d float into the sky,
And every fall I’d have the opportunity to die.
I don’t want to die, I just want to dream,
Instead of replaying my sick realities that make me want to scream.
But this will still all stay the same as my brain and blood run white,
I’ll feed myself with Satan’s sugar, the depressed primrose of the night.

****** in its love-making, heartbreak is a stoner.
Clouds and pillars, all of smoke, are cradled in my hands.
And dreams blur with reality, and what-ifs with what’s happening.
These wheels turn like poison bicycles, gears shifting in my mind.
“Baby” being whispered in the past and in my chest,
The tides are never ending, and drowning is the game.
Be careful on the sidewalk, don’t step on a crack;
Luck is to being in love as superstition is to the aftermath.
Shine my shoes and comb my hair, am I getting anywhere?
It’s hard to love yourself after that was someone else’s job.
Your silhouette is down the path and I’m still here and staring.
The clouds are green and I’m alone, rose-less with remembering thorns.

Legs on black shingles, sun-soaked black tar,
If I let them burn long enough, they will leave a scar.
Ripping out your handwriting, sewn into my skin,
You are stitches made of salt, you are a poor cheater’s win.
I will drink from the dreamboats , toxicity high,
Get so drunk on lust that I’ll hopefully die.
They say eighteen is cool, I’ve seen proof otherwise;
Seen more ******* and *******, less truth and more lies.
And as this year happens, I feel like I’m throwing up,
Trying to purge out the bad, I guess this is growing up.
Driving in the fog with no headlight on,
At my funeral, I’ll be singing this radio’s song.
Clink martini glasses filled to the brim with blood,
Cheers to unrequited dreams and our eternal love.

Maybe we’re all just snowflakes; nothing more than crystallized water from above, doomed to finally land and melt into nothing. We are snowflakes, plowed and pushed by what is bigger so that we may be out of its way. We are all falling through a path fated from the start with a fluffy and slow descent, and an ending we all see coming. Thousands fall each minute, and each one is unique. But we’d never know if a snowflake four miles away is identical or not. Who could prove it? They tell us that is the truth, so we catch it on our tongues and swallow down the minuscule truth. We are snowflakes. And it makes me sad.

Slowly and syrupy, sticky and thick,
Quick as a viper, sweetly toxic and sick.
Dancing and deadly and lurking around,
Always all at once or nowhere to be found.
Quicksand and a thirst begging to be quenched,
It’s all over your brain and your world doesn’t make sense.
It sits on your chest and pours out your eyes,
Your friends become enemies and truths become lies.
God grows dim and the devil grows loud,
Yelling in your ears until your head starts to pound.
Please make it stop, I didn’t ask for this,
This tornado of torment, this chemically-inbalanced kiss.
Your world is on a switch and the happy turns off,
Instead of shining and smiling, your soul starts to cough.
Cringing and cold and cuddled in fear,
You pray for a day that the end comes near.
Not the end of this, just the end overall.
Just so this forever-feeling will stall.
The stars become car headlights and you think to run,
In front of them in hopes this life will be done.
But instead you go to bed and pray for a day
You don’t have to cry yourself to sleep and this all goes away.
You scream in your dreams, you drown in the light,
You’re not safe in the sun or alone at night.
Depression *****, it really ******* *****,
Some happy ******* have all the luck.

I am going to bloom,
Whether or not you want me to.
Replanted by a heartbreak,
I no longer grow between your bones.
It hurts to taste such liberty,
Your heart is no longer my home.
Your blood's no longer my sunshine,
I am free to grow and grow and grow.
I will water myself with my own tears,
Photosynthesize my fears,
Turn darkness into sugar,
And grow and grow and grow.
I will bloom where I am planted,
Take in every ray of light,
Push my soul into my petals,
And grow and grow and grow.
I am going to bloom,
Whether or not I want to.
Because if you're not blooming,
You are withering.
I am going to bloom.

Your pulse is my electricity, your blood is my felicity,
You’re ten thousand leagues under the sea and I’m a brick, freely falling.
You’ll say “I think it’s beautiful, the way you laugh yourself to dreams,”
And I will kiss you, cause you’re the reason I am always-laughing me.
Hold my hand, I’ll hold on like you’re the dragon of my dreams,
Breathing fire, into my eyes and soul, that glows inside these blue-eye seas.

I need my heels to be suspended overhead,
Someone to haunt my dreams, and hug me in my bed.
Let me go crazy for you, make me go cloudy-eyed,
For love ain’t deaf and it ain’t dumb, but it **** makes you blind.
I’m tired of the *******, show me someone real,
Who’s magical inside and out and reminds me how to feel.

They kiss you on the cheek
Then they cut you with a knife.
You give them all your blood,
And carry around a scar forever.
Lips, thick redness, and a pale white line
That never fades with time.
That is what love is.

We’re rumbling like thunder, sky’s shot with purple blood,
I sing to you with roses and you ****** me with guns.
I cradle smoke inside my hands, you run away with drugs,
And when lights go down and we go high, all we have is love.
Watch the time with caution, for someday this will end,
And the past is round like the clock, mistakes come back again.
Drunken bruises, holding hands, what are the words to that song?
Me and my moonstruck valentine, so numb that we belong.
We can cry in the afternoon, but when midnight comes we’ll smile,
Just pretend we don’t remember and hangout for a while.
We’ll bicycle with monsters, the ones inside our heads,
And play these games until we’re too old, or gray, buried, and dead.

One day you’re going to find someone
Who treats you like a rose found in the snow,
Who treats you like you’re the only place they will ever want to go.
They will always be there to lullaby you to Dreamland.
When you cry they’ll pick you up and slow-dance you back to smiles.
When you tell them of your dreams, they’ll chase after them for miles.
And they will build a nest for you inside their heart.
One day you’ll find them, and you can’t help but wonder, who?
Well, maybe, today that person is you.

I’m glowing and I’m growing and I’m stumbling but I’m walking
You’re watching me, talking to me, you’re subtle, but you’re talking
And soon enough you’ll stare at me and then you’ll be gawking
Because you’ll remember why you fell in love because I’ll be me again.

I just want to sip you  s  l  o  w  l  y
Through a straw like tea.
I want to kiss while you’re laughing,
So I can kiss your teeth.
Fall down my rabbit hole soul,
So I can show you everything.
Because I see you in everything.
Let my brilliance lie exposed,
With you lying next to me.
I’m wonderful because you’re wonderful,
And you make me everything I want to be.
Little flower in my eye, cross your heart and hope to die,
That you will never leave me,
Because I’ll never be the same.
Nobody’s the same.

I want to feel you count all the bones in my spine,
While I sit and count the reasons I want to make you mine.
And you’ll finish long before me, I won’t finish until we’re dead.
But it’s okay because I will be with you until the end.

The way I hold in that smoke,
On a sweet spring night with friends I love,
I wish I could hold moments in the same way,
Only releasing them when I’m ready.
I’m just a queen sitting on top of a rosebush,
And you’re just a king with a paper hat.
I complain I’m tired of chasing you,
But I still wake up happy to see you.
You’re cracked like a tea cup,
And I’m just ****** up.
I'm surrounded by lights and beautiful things,
And I'm not beautiful yet, but I will be.
Dancing is free and loving is free,
And kissing and kush is all I need.

Your muddy shoeprints are engraved into the carpets. And at night when I stare at the cracks in my ceiling, your soul is all I feel. All the watermarks on the coffee table remind me of your brown irises. The sky is gray, the ground is cold. In the living room, flowers are sprouting in pots, and his smile flips my frown. He’s growing, taking up space, a mere fraction of the space you hold. I miss your rumbly, sleepy groans, your thighs intertwined with mine. I hope the sun comes out soon, because it’s growing darker in here each day I live without love. I know she makes you happy, and it both makes me laugh and cry to know that. I hope you’ll understand someday just how much I loved you, when it all has faded like smoke into the summer air, and I walk in a white dress to a man who didn’t just rent my house, but bought it. But for now at night I lay with lonely legs and one heartbeat and tears in my eyes as salty and bitter as our handful of goodbyes. I wish you were here, and I wish you’d never come in the first place. Every day I check the weather, and I feed the boiler, and I do my best to stay warm without your body, but it never works. Teeth chatter while I count sheep, and I lie awake wondering why the sparks ever faded and why you can barely say my name anymore. Blood nourishes the ***** but not its treasures. Dogs bark and sleep folded in half, inside their little cottages. Where is mine, where is mine? I cover the roof and walls, with their creaks and faults, with convenient and daily tape; it’s holding it all together but isn’t healing it. The sheets are forming ice, and my head is forming thunder and snow. Darling, oh darling, why did you go? I swallow the medicine, I shovel the walkway, but I’m stuck in eternal January, with the front and back doors padlocked. This might just be a dead end street. Nobody wants the house with ***** rugs and splintered ceilings and ruined furniture; house for rent, house for sale. Somebody please just knock on my door. I want to float into the clouds like an angel, rising above it all not like a snow-capped mountain, but a green and grassy hill, rolling and free.

I have thoughts that capture me, enrapture me,
That scare me so shitless I just close my eyes,
Hiding from them like they are a buzzing squad of bees.
They buzz in my ears and in my brain,
Up my nose and in my veins.
Thoughtless karma, quick and cool,
Teach me to act with such self-assured judgment.
Burn my bone marrow, burn my brain,
These memories of you drive me insane.
These whirling twirling thoughts of you are inane,
For the you I miss is no longer alive.
I’ll smoke and create my own brain hive,
Hiding from all these bees.

An orange glow and bright red teeth,
Oh, darling, won’t you sing me to sleep?
She drank her morning breakfast, Percocet and tea.
She played piano with bitten fingers, feet shaking underneath.
Her daddy taught her years ago, his bitten fingers touched those keys.
I should have beat him at his game, should’ve made them know this name.
She twinkled like a little star, lonely diamond in the sky,
Beautiful and woozy, not perfect like that Lucy.
She’s nothing special, **** sure not pure,
Thought she’d finally found her cure.
She wears those star-shaped sunglasses, knows she’s nothing good,
Smokes cigarettes and Mary-Jane, what are your demons, baby?
I’ll be your demon, baby.
Roof over her head is burning, eyes inside are ice,
She’s glacial and she’s tree bark, she’s a set of loaded dice.
I’ll finally beat him at his game; make that ****** know my name.
He’s gambling with danger, daddy dearest why’d you go?
Hung flowers across her bedroom walls, wilting brown and old.
She likes the smell of rotting, the sly slickness of mold.
Before she was glowing amber, now she’s those fading flowers.
Her lips are blue like the empty bottle on the table.
The TV’s on but only for static, she doesn’t believe in cable.
She didn’t believe in cable.
Just play the piano and please don’t call my mother,
The only friend I ever had besides you was my brother.
He ended up in prison, Father left years ago.
I should have beat him years go.
I should have done this years ago.
I loved you.

Medicating my murderer, I am blood in the river,
She is the sunrise and I’m not a swimmer.
I am floating away, wake me up when it’s over.
Jack the Ripper, Jack the Lover.

Love is a sponge soaking in wine.
I will drink in your soul, more and more with time,
And as we age, it will only get better.

I think there’s something beautiful in sobriety,
In the sense of sincerity, in the rawness of reality.
I believe in drunken bruises, I believe in drugged thoughts,
But I believe in this world more than either of those two.
If our reality is perception, than there must be more than one.
I believe in the influence of motivation,
And the intoxication of being in love, true love.
For kisses mean nothing when the why? isn’t solid,
And thoughts are nonsensical when the how? is cloudy.
I will sip my wine and I will smoke my blunt,
But, to me, awareness will always be greater than numbness,
And authenticity of the human heart and soul
Will always be more important than temporary happiness.

We could both be busy working or being lazy
When at 11:34 he will say with keys in hand,
Get in the car, we’re getting cheeseburgers.
And we will go to a diner
And get apple juice and bendy straws
And we’ll put quarters in the jukebox
And play songs from when we were little.
We will ride bicycles on Sundays
And watch the History Channel.
He’ll believe in aliens and ghosts,
And make me try new things when that is just the medicine.
We will both love books
And believe making beautiful things is beautiful.
We will make love and lie in bed
And make shadow puppets on the walls.
We will remember to try our best to be
The person we’d want to be married to.
We will remember to love our lives
So we can love each other.
And even when we are ugly, in age or to each other,
We will kiss each other every day and always say I love you.
And we won’t know where we are going,
But will wake up when we get there.

It’s really something suicidal
When perfect and beautiful and wonderful things
Remind you only of other things
That you can never get back.
Because roses *****,
And lovers trick,
And everyone in the world is sick,
But, darling, don’t you worry,
Because I’m the sickest of us all.

The frosted grass sparkles in the light of the night
Like a night you can’t get back.
Really Something with capital letters,
You were Really Something, and you said I was Something Else.
And it’s so stupid to even miss you on a Monday night
When you don’t give a ****, and neither should I.
And it’s absolutely insane for me to pick my brain
When I can’t fall asleep in bed, but I do it.
Singing along to a song we used to love,
Windows open in winter just to feel something that strong again.
The wheel is in my hands and the road is in my eyes,
All these memories and daydreams are crystallized
Into tears thanks to a lover who made me love like I never had before.
It’s sort of funny how one person can totally change your life,
Makes you wonder if it really is yours.