Now you are being unreasonable, Sir --totally so-
I'll relate this story so that the whole world would know
You shouted at me:  "Wrong phone number
You stupid ****** !'
May I say: 'Why did you pick up the phone then, Sir Marlborough?'

This was the problem with the great bard William Shakespeare
Of venereal diseases he did not care or fear
The biographers do lament
His creative powers were unwisely spent
In 16th century brothels of London--on dear, oh dear!

There was a man from Beijing called Not Tee Lim
Ugly, bald, belligerent, recalcitrant and slim
Won the year's First Prize for Insolence,
Belligerence,  Indifference and Intolerance
He was bestowed a  knighthood--his new name-- Sir Irreverent Lim

Limericks are part of modern psychotherapy
Found to be efficacious in many a country
Edward Lear was before his time and did not think
He could sell his poems to every shrink
Today he would be worth millions in US currency

This is a true story
Of a robber named John-Sill Henry
With a water pistol
He tried to hold up Bank Royal
Caught red-handed--when the water leaked accidentally

Her name was Nancy
The chatter-box of the city
Her husband could take it no more
Decided to marry the city's most famous *****
Believe me--this is a real story.

Three men went to sea
John, Paul and Henry
There was not enough food and they fought
The weather was unbearably hot
They blasphemed:  hell is a better place to be!