It's not you it's me,
I'm sorry this is how I be,
It's just I have to protect,
I know how some girls think and if I must, I will interject,
I have to keep an eye out and keep what's mine, just that,
I know it looks like I'm checking on you,
But in all realness it's karma getting me for a past do,
It’s not about you; it's about the deeds I've done,
Coming back around and making me a paranoid one,
I apologized for hurting your feelings,
It was not my intention, with my sneaky dealings,
I've never felt the way I do about you with anyone else,
Finding out that I'm not believing that I deserve it myself,
A constant debate rolls through my mind,
Reasons to believe and also deny that it's the true kind,
I say again it's not you it's me,
I wouldn't have given you my heart if I didn't trust you, trust me,
I never think of what you’re doing is wrong, when you’re not with me,
But I know how tempting the world can seem and what it's like getting away with ****** deeds,
I feel bad for hurting you,
I don't understand why I do what I do,
I just know I don't want to lose you,
Never, for no reason is good enough for me,
And I just want to let you know I appreciate you,
Everything you do for me I just want to say I love you.
Love, me.

So much **** in my head/ this exact feelin' i dread/ if it ain't one thing it's another/ can you hear the faint sounds of thunder/ betta run fo' cover/ cuz when it rains it pours/ so betta be prepared for more/ stack up your sandbags, reinforce your levy's/ cuz all the payn, can get so heavy/ don't let the water, rush ya/ it has the strength 2 crush ya/ i know you feel the pressure/ don't let it stress ya/ if the water starts 2 rize/ don't be surprised/ just be aware, the current might take waves/ don't be fooled by the size/ it's the force beneath/ that can pull you off your feet/ and take you 2 see all life in the sea/ if you lose your balance don't panic/ relax and treed water if you can manage/ try 2 stay afloat/ hopefully you'll see a boat/ and you can climb aboard/ it may be over now, but stay prepared for more/ there may be a leak in the floor/ and once again, fightin' the force/ bail out the water and find a plug 2 stop the faucet, thats pourin'/ try 2 see what caused it, though it may not matta/ it might help save you from diasta'/ then in your last moment of dispair/ you look and land is near/ try 2 make it there/ jump ship or try 2 make a repair/ paddles or not/ sometimes the boat you must rock/ pull up your anchor, don't jus sit in the same spot/ once you've reached shore/ your not done, be prepared for more/ different obstacles are awaiting'/ don't spend so much time debating/ make a decision, either way consequences are waitin'/ which way 2 go/ we don't always know/ look 2 the stars/ yeah their far/ but they can help show, which way 2 go/ North, South, East, West, i truly don't know who knows best/ Storms will come and go, and some will be harder then the rest, but just remember always live your best.

The words from the paper jumped off and took a hold,
squeezin' at my heart, and snatched up my soul,
the content took me by such a surprise,
numb, is now what i feel as i just watch the moon rise,
trying to grasp my own thoughts, swirling in my mind,
the words written, and the cold feels deadly, combined,
contemplation, followed by some aggravation,
and the determination, to not let it happen,
now with all the pressure, my heart is misshapen,
as I stare at the icy waters below,
and feel the arctic chill of the snow,
sparkling around me and the mountains across the bay,
I'm still trying to comprehend, why you chose to speak on paper, and why to me, you could not say,
I will get through, cause I always seem to,
but may need some help to raise my temperature, to change my flesh back from blue,
with the start of it at my fingertips, the cut caused by the ice of your words,
not the page itself, and the way i'm feeling at the moment i wish would never reoccur,
so i let you and your pages go and reclaim my soul,
I'm okay that you let me go,
just didn't agree with the form, that you let me know.

Broken thoughts,
trickling down and dripping through the open slots,
making their way past the beating element,
blocked by a wall consisting of some sturdy sediment,
with no access they continue to flow,
along and down, then I feel the drip on my toe,
What was that? I thought,
Oh that's right, that's just something that happens from time to time,
It's just another broken thought.

Okay so I wouldn't exactly say ashamed,
But no doubt, I feel we are all to blame,
More embarrassed about what we have become,
Of not how far we have come,
I've said it before, a person is smart but people are dumb,
I'm prepared to fight, most are just ready to run,
To see the things people do to one another,
Everyone living under cover,
Not accepting the truth thats staring us in the face,
If we keep it up, we might end up seeing the end of our race,
And what then would be left, but empty space,
Most live backwards and don't see what they should,
As time passes I see more hate and rage, rather then good,
What happened to compassion and loving our fellow man,
What changed?, How did it get so out of hand?,
With all the coruption and distrust in our nation,
I just don't understand and it gives me such frustration,
Why can't the masses come to my realization,
That to be apart of this society, it's our responsibility, we need no ones authorization,
Can't handle it sometimes, to witness all the wrong around,
But we must rise up, because only we can hold ourselves down.

One chapter ends, another begins,
One down, who knows how many more untill it ends,
This ones gonna change it up a bit,
Started it, now must finish, no desire to quit,
Casually makin' my way,
One day I'll make it I'm sure- one day?
What day? When will it arrive?
When will I find out why, I strive to survive,
Takin' all that's brought to my attention,
More then what I think I can take, seems to always come in my direction,
Jumpin' hurdles at a record speed,
Tryin' to maintain balance between want and true need,
In a race, only opponent being myself,
Fightin' alone, to budget between health and wealth,
My yin to my yang,
Always tryin' to just maintain,
My life, just tryin' to do my thang.

Far from where I started, yet not to the finish line,
Keep one foot in front of the other, one day at a time,
No, that don't work for me,
one moment at a time, yeah that's more like me,
That's what I need,
Accelerate and try to maintain speed,
Gotta go for what is right, not consumed by greed,
more of that is not what the world needs,
Freedom found in my mind, lived out in my heart,
Not knowin' is just one part,
In which we must accept and live with or without,
Judge me, love me, hate me,
misunderstand me, or relate to me,
Smile on without a front,
not me to be emotionally wreaked, I'd rather haul *** and pull a stunt,
No fakeness, only me being me, it's no illusion,
though often it can be a ***** dealin' with all my confusion,
my heart and body I've learned to keep sacred,
they're not up for abusin',
let one try and change that, they'll be the only one ending up brusin',
Fear with me, doesn't exist,
Fearless not exactly, but livin' without it I must insist.

From the fire to the smoke,
the fumes have the power to make one choke,
the heat begins to rise, waking up that feeling inside,
with the increase in temperature, the walls it starts to effect,
changing the texture, where both sides start to connect,
Where they meet,
both sides melting into one another from direct heat,
my yin to my yang,
now becoming one thang,
dripping down, making no sound,
now forming a puddle on the ground,
Because from the smoke to the fire,
My light and dark not like it was prior,
Now merged it's now entire.

What we don't say is usually what needs to be heard,
so why is it so hard to take from head n heart and put into word,
why do we fight with ourselves to get it all out,
why can't I take whats on the tip of my tongue and just spit it out,
throw these words at you, like the looks you throw at me,
if I could then I would, and you may not agree,
but it will come the time, if I just work on it a bit,
my words have been know to land a hard hit and stick,
so the question still remains,
whats the reason why I can't release what my head contains,
if the words do try to escape, they just retract or stays in place,
wish I could just reach out and embrace,
take what I bottle up and just spray,
hope one day this will happen, why not today,
so please come and take a seat,
I have something to say, and it's hard for me to speak.

Love- “I don’t believe in that”,
I can’t see it, so it can’t be true,
Not enough “realness” has been witness, to prove,
Love was a game and a word that was tossed around,
But in the end, guess who it found?
I never thought it could be like this,
I have found that one that I love to kiss,
Love found me and showed without a doubt,
What this feeling is really about,
I’m glad it searched until I was found,
I float with toes floating not touching ground,
Head in the clouds,
And my heart in your hands,
Everyday that passes my love for you expands,
Every moment with you I admire,
You are my only desire,
Love- for me know, more than a word,
You alone have made my appetite for this curve,
The hunger grows everyday for you,
Finally love has found me and brought me to you.