The death of friendship
allows negativity to seer
Watch your back naive hypocrite
that closed door is the birthplace of fear

Cry out your eyes
Scream all you can
Get lost in another world
far from reality you ran

Rip open your sleeves
Question whether you are sane
We all need our own way
to deal with the pain

What is one more,
just another sleepless night
With the vague touch of familiarity
into my sanity you bite

Beloved bed upon who I lay
rest body but not sight
Ask for one moon of forgiveness
or ask if free breath may be right

For just a simple exchange
a wink of sleep I fight
Even in those few moments
my dreams now raised to a new height

Forgive myself I cannot
continuing as lost souls their blight
Rolling back and forth
in my bed as winded kite

Your words roam in my mind
what you said holds so tight
But I beg of you
that one tormentless night you might

For it is darkness I seek
but you only provide white
Not knowing what can be done
to escape the inevitable and forth coming light

Show me those fake smiles
allow me them all consume
Fill me up with your empty happiness
or allow the despair to resume

Staring at the carnage
emotions left to dry
Cavities and loose bearings
lost in the vacancy of the night sky

Lost but never alone
beneath their shadows I hide
In the heaven of happiness
but that love I am denied

Presence as solid as fear
and soul whittled and torn
Scared to even breath
footsteps covered and life forlorn

I cannot forget
the time which we held
Years went passed
as together our hearts did meld

Remembering
always brings back a tinge of fear
But I can not let you go
my other half, you were beauty dear

She was perfection
and I'll never forget the time we had
I loved her always
even at the times she was mad

But I cannot forgive myself
for letting her go
Losing her
feels as a knife has struck a deep blow

Ignore me she shall
she'll try me forget
But even if two years have passed
still nothing I regret

For I'd do anything to be with her
anything to be part of her plan
But the bed I once laid in
is now shared with another man

personally I have nothing against him
his reckless ways of going without a care
why she loves him
is something i couldn't possibly comprehend
for I know him not
but he is all i stand against
perfection by his side
but he continues to resent
care not for him
but for her sake I fear.
a girl of such beauty
forever cast in tear

for he doesn't even notice
if he did he just doesn't care
what could she ever do
to recieve this despair

and helplessly here i stand
with motive but no action
i'd love to save the princess
but i am no hero
she wants him
and i am but an observer
treated as if i have no shade
but knowing i would never hurt her
what id do for her to notice me
and no longer hurt further.
for the grip he holds over
seems like her hearts ******

and helplessly here i stand
all i do is pages worden
but as i try to help her
standing in her way i seem a burden

If i was to retake my actions
am I to expect no reaction?
If I was to live a lie
is to allow my current reality to die
Happiness may not be all of which I relies
but I need the comfort this position provides
I wouldn't want to live in some perfect life
with the ideal 2.5 children and fair wife
I may not like my choices of the past
but I know this hardship won't forever last
The results of our decisions you can see have rosen
not perfect, but it is what I have chosen.