every one is so jolly with their spirits bright
except for me, crying myself to sleep each night
youre the only thing i wanted this year
I get more and more upset as christmas is near
the first without you, but not the last
I just wanted to go back to years past
december 21st and im crying alone
its been nearly a year since youve been home
its midnight and my Christmas list isnt full of things
its midnight and the doorbell rings
I open the door the and theres no pizza here
I open the door and I got my wish this year
strong, proud and dressed in green
youll always be my favorite marine

im realizing youre trying to make up for the future years
so i try to enjoy the moment and ignore the tears
but all I can think about is the lost time
struggling to stay strong, I pretend to be fine
but what am I supposed to do?
I can't get used to being with you
the deployments are driving me insane
saying goodbye for 2 years thrives my heart with pain
thinking of all things that you'll miss
my prom, my graduation, and my birthday wish
wont even be able to bring you home
ill be getting older all alone
time will go on though you're not here
you'll be brave while I live in fear

My heart still belongs with you
And my mind says this can't be true
Together til the end we said
Forever you were supposed to be my friend
For 2 years I thought the system did us wrong
For 2 years way to long
My brother, my friend, my hero and my protection
In a broken home you were my perfection
You saved me from myself, the demon I am within
But only to destroy me, I guess I didn't win
Forgotten and abandoned, you own my ability to trust
Long nights full of tears and regret of lust
I want to run to you and still I almost do
I need you more than you think, if you only knew
I know you think it's best for me
But I'm crying on the floor, can't you see?
I'm missing my knives more and more, but I know I've come to far
All alone here I am I'm staring at my scars
I need to feel my blades again
Because in the end they were my only friend

After everything youve put me through
Im still awake, thinking of you
i miss our late night talks
About our most secretive thoughts
It hurts, knowing itll never be the same
it hurts having no one to blame
I know this is probably best for you
But this is to hard, if you only knew
But you agree, you feel this way too

Im happy knowing that you miss me
At least the worry has finally been set free
You said wed make it out alright
I hope and pray with all my might
This inst the end, no its not the end
You tell me in each message that you send

Its gonna be alright, were gonna be okay
We just have to make it through these terrible days
Its gonna take a while, but we have to wait it out
Push away the ugly thoughts that seem to bring us doubt
Soon itll be done, well again be together
And we can finally move on, move on forever

happy birthday to me
im finally turning 17
though im happy to age
im sick of you pretending were okay
i can see you trying to fake a smile
acting as if were not really hostile
i dont like games, i hate these games
ill smile too, pretend im not in pain
really i dont find this fair
one day acting like you care
should i be happy rather than numb in this sorrow
even though i know this will all end tomorrow
maybe i should just enjoy this scheme
and sing along, happy birthday to me

you knew i was on the verge of tears, thats why you started to sing taylor swift. we had less than a day until you would leave for god knows how long. its kinda sad saying goodbye for this long, it hurts knowing that this could be last time you would ever come back. i tried to be strong, to not break down, but this is more than than i could take. you knew just how i was falling apart and you couldnt bare to see it. thats why you acted silly and sang with me. before this all happend you never let me sing because i was just so bad, but now you want me to because this is all to sad. youll hug me one last time, call me one more mean name before you go, because it to hard for us to let our true feelings show. you leave with your last words being "semper fi" and i try my hardest not to cry, i fail miserably, this is the most tragic kind of goodbye

i come from long trips on the road
praying my brothers would go into silent mode
i come from yelling and screaming
because im outside rather than inside cleaning
i come from hatred and family fights
and laying in bed crying all night

i come from parents who claim to be religious
but who only seem to be prejiduce
i come from sorrow and anger
and live with people that feel like strangers
i come from a grandmother who ill always remember
and family members who are to proud to ever surrender

i come from my fathers mistakes
whose anger and threats i long to escape
i come from my mothers lies
whose heart is filled with undeserving pride
i come from a soul thats searching for strength
and a family that will stop at nothing til they see it break