on those days when i felt so alone,
and needed a hug,
i reached out to give the universe,
one
big
hug.
she deserves it after everything she does,
and i’m sure watching over us all day,
she wants to hug us back.

i never thought
i’d hold a hand,
that didn’t make me full of fear.

but your hand,
delicate fingers
and scars from the cold.

wraps me in a hug
that doesn’t suffocate
but guides me.

and with your hand in mind,
i feel safe.
please don’t let go.

because you don’t understand;
the internal hurt.
the emotional surge begging to escape,
the way i hate myself for everything i do,
and how one word from you could make the world light up again,
or cause the end of it all.

it’s not that you hate talking about feelings.


you just hate talking about mine.

but you didn’t like that i don’t like surprises,
how i would research the movies ending as we drove to the theater,
and how i never read a book in the right order.
and then you gave me the biggest surprise of all,
you left.

because you don’t understand;
the internal hurt.
the emotional surge begging to escape,
the way i hate myself for everything i do,
and how one word from you could make the world light up again,
or cause the end of it all.

i hate to be asleep,
but i yearn for the feeling of tiredness.
i’ll continue to rub the sleep from my eyes,
and push myself to stay awake,
if it means you do too.