For months and months
I waited
Praying for a sign
But without me
You laughed and smiled
And I realized
You were fine

We spend our lives waiting
Waiting for something better
When in fact, the best we will ever have
Is quite possibly right in front of us
Inches from our faces
And we'd never notice

We lay, face to face
With only our soft whispers
To fill the small space between us
With only our minds and bodies
To satisfy the desires of the other

We do not have much
Not much besides love
But as I gently traced the outline of your lips
And you stared into my eyes
As if they were gates to the most magnificent soul you had ever seen
We were happy

And yet
To this day
We each find ourselves hoping
For something better

I confess that I am worried
I confess that I am scared
I confess that I've been staring for too long at your empty chair
I confess that I am fickle
I confess that I am scarred
I confess that I too often see your face among the stars
I confess that I am tired
I confess that I am stressed
I confess that I still long to lay my head upon your chest
I confess that I am hopeful
I confess that I am strong
I confess that I know someday you'll be back where you belong
I confess that I still love you
I confess that I still care
I confess that I've felt space beside me
Wishing for you there

There she is-
see her?
She’s walking this way-
To me?
I don’t know,
What do I say?

She beautiful and ****…
Shh!  Bite your tongue!
She heard you, you fool!
Now here she comes.

Keep your cool.
Don’t mess around.
Look right at her
and tell her you’ve found
the most precious jewel,
a priceless treasure,
a woman with beauty
beyond all measure

Do it now, before she goes by
(My god, I can’t even look her straight in the eye).
She’s closer now-
Do you think she knows?
I don’t know…
…but there she goes.

The longer I stay,
The more my thoughts begin to fade
Deeper into myself.

I’m starting to not be able
To hide my sadness.
So believe me when I say,
I’m starting to choke on my smile
That’s ever so fake.

Deeper and deeper into the cold, black hole
That takes over my mind and soul.
It’s hard to think about the bright-side,
None of it seems to stay true.

What should I do?
To get out of this mess.
Because no matter what I do..
I end up falling back in, only deeper.