Wake up, Dread.

The more I come to understand how things really work,
The more I am pitied for pessimistic plasticity.
I pity you.

Fall asleep, Dread.

Something vague to keep my mind away
Some solace so that I may sleep please.
Anything except what I am faced with
On my own.

One distraction please,
A reoccurring theme in these troubled days,
A hobby with hope for the health
Of my ill mind.

A single event that I may call my own
May as well just be my savior,
Better help than you will ever be to me.
Please just some piece of mind.

I breathe you in
Inhale your essence as you speak
Your words, your energy
Intoxicate me
And simultaneously
Blacken my lungs
This toxic smoke
Will surely **** me
But I cannot bring myself
To exhale

what would have happened if i never met you
and i went to California to get drunk and feel free with my friends

what would have happened if i decided to stay home that night and not go to that party
we would never be where we are today

we wouldnt have been able to experience the feelings that we had for eachother
we wouldnt be able to go through the things that made us stronger

but there was no point in going to that party that night because now your happy with someone else and my mind is still set on summertime

I can't remember the last time
I dreamed
And that makes me sad
Almost nostalgic
For those days when my brain was too full
To not dream
Those days that marked me
Colored me full
Colored me pretty
And interesting
Like the pages of a printed
Special movie edition book
Now I'm more like
An old leatherbound cookbook
Beaten and worn from past usage
Torn pages
Yellowed corners
Used
But might as well be empty because I am used no more
Full of beautiful recipes and possibilities
But too weak and fallen apart
To be reconsidered
I can't remember the last time I laughed
With someone who understands me
With someone who couldn't say
"Oh that's so funny"
When I tell a joke that's not
And instead berates me
For being so lame
But in a loving way
But this does not make me nostalgic
Because you always find someone better
People come and go
So do dreams I suppose...

Somehow it's different
Somehow it's not the same
I need to have dreams to know I'm still alive inside
And people can only prove I've got a physical body
That's all