moonlit

moonlit Apr 2014

i will not fabricate the world and i will not lie about the people in it either. i will warn her about the boy across the street with hands like fire and kisses that will melt you into a parallel universe. i will inform her about the very first day her demons say hello to her and i will teach her how to fight them. if she should ever feel broken i will promise her that she is not irreparable and duct tape goes a very long way. i will tell her to look before she falls because inside every boy is a black hole and sometimes they let you fall into it. i will remind her everyday of how beautiful she is because i was never told that growing up and well, look where that got me. if i should have a daughter i will raise her the right way - i will tell her everything my parents never told me because there is nothing worse than waking up one day and realizing you have been lied to your whole life.

moonlit Jan 2014

untitled #2

i stared at the blank television screen,
and in some weird way i related to it.
the black, void picture is my happiness.
my happiness is empty, gone, void.
the only difference is
with a simple motion of my finger
i can roar the screen back to life.
and i've tried everything to rekindle my happiness -
it hasn't worked out.

moonlit Jan 2014

stolen stars

after this is all said and done,
i can only hope that someone out there can find the hidden galaxies in my bones,
i hope someone finds the stars in my eyes and the moon in my mind; the rest of me is wrecked.
my smile no longer reflects the suns radiant rays, my smile is now dark - so to speak. (much like the sky without the stars gleaming down on us.)
i no longer possess the milky way in my heart, you barged into my heart and stole everything stellar about me.
due to the damage you have caused me, my heart is dark too, like the attic was that night you brought me up there to stargaze.
i didn't know you stole the stars from my heart and put them in the sky.
i hope you like the stars you stole from me.

moonlit Jan 2014

y o u

i try to write poetry on a wide variety of topics but somehow every **** poem i write seems to come back to the topic of you. i cannot write about silence without relating it to the everlasting silence that has fallen between us. i cannot write about love without thinking about those feelings we once had for each other and those few short months we shared. i cannot write about the stars or the sand on the beach or even the moon without thinking of those times we spent at the beach, laying on the sand at midnight counting the stars. i cannot even write about ******* sadness without it somehow reminding me of what i constantly feel when i am apart from you. i can't write about anything except for you. you. you. you. that is all my vocabulary contains. you. you. you. you're all i think about. **** you.

moonlit Dec 2013

20 Texts I Almost Sent You (continued)

are you doing well? i hope you are.
(deleted)

christmas is coming up. all i really wanted was to spend it with you.
(deleted)

it's becoming increasingly difficult to rest without your soft breaths to lull me to sleep.
(deleted)

every single poem i've written in the last two months has been about you.
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i hear your laugh in mine, sometimes.
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your voice is the only thing that occupies my mind now. you've taken me over completely.
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i'm not sure if you broke my heart or if i broke my own heart by letting you in.
(deleted)

do you write about me like you used to?
(deleted)

remember when we watched the great gatsby together? i still look at you like gatsby looked at daisy.
(deleted)

you mean everything to me. you always have.
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i hate that i can't stop loving you. why was it so easy for you to stop loving me?
(deleted)

you are my augustus waters.
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in the famous words of kate moss: "you're in my veins, you ****."
(deleted)

i am always wanting to start a conversation with you, but never knowing how to start it.
(deleted)

i think i love you more than i did before. i'm sorry it took us to separate for me to realize that.
(deleted)

i am in tears while writing this. it seems that whenever i think about you my eyes betray me.
(deleted)

i am still trying to figure out where we went wrong.
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i had expected to feel bitter after you left. all i feel is nostalgic.
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despite everything, i honestly hope you are happy.
(deleted)

i think i'll always get butterflies when i think about our first kiss. i'll always get butterflies
when i think about you, and what we used to have.
(deleted)

moonlit Dec 2013

To my favorite dog in the entire universe,

Dear Bull,
It's not even been 24 hours since you've passed and I already miss you. I know you were eight years old but I still believe you were taken from us too soon. I've been crying all day and I don't know how I'm going to cope without my best friend by my side. I truly hope you are in a better place and although I wish you hadn't gone so soon, I am glad to know that you are no longer in pain. I regret not getting to say goodbye to you but I didn't want to see you in so much pain. It tore me apart. I didn't know I could love something so much. It feels like a part of me has withered away. I know you loved running around the yard so I'm happy that you got to take one last stroll around your territory. We buried you in the backyard and we wrapped you in towels and blankets and we even put a pillow under your head so you'd be comfortable. So you could rest like you used to. I knew something was up when you didn't immediately go after your food, you loved food. And then you started throwing up. We thought it was just a stomach virus. But then it happened the next day, and the next day. We were going to take you to the vet on Monday but you didn't make it to Monday. I'm so proud that you still had the strength to get up and try to greet us like you did. I'm proud that you went knowing you were loved. And I'm so blessed to have had you in my life as long as I did. I will always always always love you and I will always miss you. I'm choking up while writing this. Sassy is whining for you and we all miss you dearly. I hope you're running around in Doggy Heaven, wagging your tail and getting a hold of every Milkbone snack you can find. You were the greatest dog ever. Know that I'll never forget you. Rest In Peace Bull, I hope to see you soon.
Love,
your favorite human,
Brandi.

moonlit Dec 2013

Untitled

my lips are aching for your lips
i wish to intertwine ours in the most romantic way
leaving both of us equally breathless.
i wish to show you in every way possible
just how crazy i am
for you.