My mind is screaming
GO TO BED!
My heart is whispering
"just a few more minutes"
My mind quiets.......... while
My heart smiles with victory

This is the battle that goes on between my mind and my heart when it comes to enthralling books
:]

During the day it is quiet and peaceful
There is nothing that can disturb me
I know this house from top to bottom
It is all because I died here
All its secrets and desires consume me
There is nothing I can do but cry to the silence
When night comes my nightmares come to life
But with a sickening thud I realize something even worse
I am not alone.

I want to know how it feels
To live and love
To laugh with all my heart
To feel the surge of doing something I love
An illusion is just an illusion until you believe its real
All I wish is to live a life that I will be happy with
That I will feel whole
Inside and out

I missed it again!
Every time I try to catch you
You always seem to evade me
I chase this pleasure but it
Just runs faster
I call this tempter
SLEEP

Tired of believing
Tired of hoping
I love something bad
But no one is there to tell me its wrong
So what's the harm when no one knows what's going on?
Just forget it, this is all wrong
Keep living your life knowing that I'm staying strong

I write these words because
I can't believe that my world is dying and I'm still on my feet
Living my life while the world is crumbling
Why should I live when others die of being hungry?
We try to right our wrongs but in the end
Our regrets pile up till the lights become dim

We try to live day by day like nothing is wrong.
We have our arguments when our lives crumble or fall.
We cry all the time behind closed doors.
We cherish the love that binds us when the lights go off
We dream our secrets and live our nightmares
But no matter where we are or how we feel there is no place like home.

Better to do than die
For I will never know your feelings
Never know your touch
Only see you from a distance
Always in silence
I would rather take the risk of dying
than never being heard
being seen
being yours
To ask forgiveness
rather than permission
is how I feel
about you and me
and us
For I know now that I have the strength
To walk that distance and look you in the eye
Never caring about who might see
you and me
For I know that even though we shield our true selves from
the naked eye
I would rather die
than live another day
Telling everyone our lies

I know our love will never be easy
Every day will be like riding a  roller coaster
We will have our up and downs
Twist and turns
Stop and starts
Laughing and screaming
But that is just how couples are
We live each day trying to make the most of it
Whether we like each other or not
Life goes on
Just how the night is in love with the dawn

Your always so chill
Even when you just climbed a hill
Maybe that's why your name is Bill
Or maybe its because you married Jill
So please try not to **** me
When I tell you that Dill
Just broke your new grill

Your voice is a beautiful melody
It fills up a room
You could calm a riot
Or start a new Millennium
Everyone is silent
Except my beating heart because she is screaming in joyous cheer because instead of all that
you decided to
love me.

Your beautiful in every way
You have a secret identity that you can not share
You bring life to everyone in the middle of May
I wish I was you every day
But instead I'm just another that has lost my way
So find me please
Before the end of May

With my last breath all I wish to say is "I love you"
All my heart can do is slowly pound with your tears
As my body gets colder and colder your warmth becomes comfortable
I know that this will be last chance to say what my heart is feeling so with my last breaths I whisper
I love you in every way no matter where I am or what you are doing. There is no one in my world except you"
Finally everything turns to darkness as your tears fall on my face.

Ink stains on my hands
I spend ten hours a week trying to describe my passion
through a blood stained carving tool
I waste paper that last over a hundred years trying to make my ideas into realities
Through this whole process my mind rejects my heart saying
" You will never be successful in your passions!"
" You are wasting your time! "
" You will never be able to find something artistic that you love"
I try to ignore these blaring comments by working even harder
My heart is devoted to my passions but sometimes doubts my ambitions
Always cautious and reminding me that I need to find something that I love
It is just so hard not to love the only thing that makes you feel loved

The fire with in me is bursting, like a match struck in darkness.
It is burning everything in its path like a raging forest fire.
Causing pain and despair, as my memories are turned to ashes.
Making me feel the winter chill of emptiness.
From the ashes I will rise a new and stronger me for the fire has died and I am still alive.

It happened again
I'm torn off
Yet again my feelings are ripped apart
There is nothing left but emptiness and regret
Blaming myself for everything that went wrong
But I won't forget the hurt and how bad things got
But I guess now it doesn't matter
Because I'm in the trash
I'm always your band- aid

Isn't a merry fairytale
It lurks in your darkest dreams
It scares your nightmares
Chasing  the innocent and stalking the darkness
Killing your love and living your fears
Now it is coming for you
We call this abomination *"The IT"

How I wish to be free
To spread my wings
feel the wind on my face
to forget it all
Let go of everything
before I fall

Why oh why do I follow you?
When you lead me to a foreign place
Where no flowers grow and all the tree's are bare
All I do is follow you
There is nothing to hear and nothing to feel
No sound of animals or insects near
The sky is still blue but with no clouds for comfort
And still I follow you
With eyes like water and hair as black as a raven
With a voice like honey and a smile like the devil
You make me feel as if I hardly know myself
You bring back memories that my desires wish to be real
and my mind wants them to be forgotten
I wish I could run but I know my heart would stop me
She's waiting for us to stop walking
To start somewhere where the flowers bloom and the grass grows
Where we could lay in the sun all day and form the clouds into our most treasured fantasies
But where do you start when your in a foreign place
When all I can do is follow you hoping that you will one day look behind and
realize I've always been there for you.

With the foggy night comes unease
Sleep depriving dizziness awaits me
Focused on only what needs to be done I forget my surroundings
I might as well be in class than at home in my pajamas
Trying to stay organized but everything just seems disarrayed
Dreading the horrors of tomorrows long day