putting perfume on before bed,
dancing in my daydreams without my muscles being sore
because there, I actually have the motivation to stay stretched.
>sometimes it feels like i'm ******* with my destiny,
as if i knew what i was supposed to do,
and it wasn't exactly this.

In the bottom bunk,
Thinking of all the ****** things I've said to people while they were sad.
I was trying to make them feel less lonely, but "everyone feels like that sometimes" is hardly helpful and it just puts down the fact that they're feeling at all.
I wish I wouldn't talk sometimes, or
I wish I didn't grow up believing that everyone feels everything because I am constantly feeling so much
but not everyone does.
And believing that everyone feels doesn't help the feeling.

Next time anyone or myself is sad,
I will not minuscule it by involving it with everyone.

i'd like to rock climb your spine,
bungee jump off the bridge of your nose,
tackle the pillow beneath your head,
kiss you softly on the cheek, and then
i'd like to crawl into my own ear and whisper
"it's okay to go to sleep thinking of yourself"

my favorite hellopoetry user no longer writes on here
i don't know if she writes at all anymore
i don't know if she's even alive

why do i still write on here
why do i write at all
why am i even alive

usually mad at myself for eating, pinching the skin of my stomach and thighs, but i've got an eye on that oatmeal and i feel exhausted and what if it's just me being hungry and i want to be strong
but more importantly, i want to be thin
i'm not quite sure why that is
but don't worry, i'm not doing anything about how fat my arms and legs feel, the skin i get to pull around under my chin
i just contour my cheek bones hoping they won't look so full
and feel best on days i pride myself on being small.
what a mixed up world we live in
what a consumer field
what a first-world disease
why do i still order medium t-shirts when i look better in a small
because i'm disillusioned of it all
and i talk about it a lot
for not wanting to talk about it
but i think about it even more

Under ur covers
Tastes like flesh
Or lips or tongue
Tastes a lot like what I love
& then hands are under waistbands
& this comforter is undiscovered land
I'll explore it with you
If you explore me

i don't know my own name some nights
when i'm sober and by myself and slightly chilled, exhausted
it's mine but i don't feel it's mine
i don't feel like anything at all
but tonight I'm not sure
feeling nothing used to be bad
but being nothing feels like it might be relief