have i used this line already?
it makes sense because really i can't stop thinking about the rain on his windshield and how the drops sounded while the smiths were playing,
how good it felt to be kissed in his passenger seat,
it feels like it was a lifetime ago,
and i lied,
this is a poem about a boy
this is a poem about a boy
this is a poem about a boy

i hope i always remember your car doors and rain

lately i have nothing but sweet poems to write
and i am sorry to every teen who thinks they are in love
i am sorry we all know it will end
i am sorry time will tear you apart and you will be left in dust, thinking,
times were so good, his lips tasted like a gold mine,
and i am sorry that you will always wish instead of meeting him at 17,
you could have maybe met at 23
and instead of drifting apart because society tells you to
you grow into lives together
(because you can take them with you at 23)
(at 17 you just pack your bags)
I am sorry we are so pessimistic and reasonable
trying to be adults, trying to be mature
when all we want to do is realize that love doesn't have to end
just because it's supposed to
and despite popular belief and majority rules,
not everything has to have a bad ending
or an ending at all

SOMETIMES I JUST CURL INTO A BALL
AND PRETEND THAT I AM TALKING WITH YOU
BECAUSE I NEVER GET THE RIGHT WORDS OUT IN PERSON
SO MAYBE GOING CRAZY AND SAYING SWEET WORDS INTO THIN AIR
WILL BALANCE OUT MY REGRET
OF NEVER TELLING YOU
HOW GREAT YOU ARE

you constantly quote
"it's alright
to tell me
what you think
about me"
but you also say
"take notes"
when our friend talks of how bad it is for the woman to say "i love you" first
and i am constantly torn between saying,
"I'm in love with you"
or asking
"do you still like it when I'm around?"

I don't know what I want with my life,
but ****, i know it might be bad to say,
but right now in life, day to day
today, tomorrow
I want you in it.

you want to take a look into my self-image?
my mirror is not even cracked
(i would hate that symbolism)
but **** do i look distorted.
I'm always too fat and my acne is impressive,
my hair is too flat or frizzy or greased,
Every look there's something dissatisfying
but god, sometimes the way you look at me...

not even that, I guess. I don't need another's affection
to forget about my own distaste (though it helps)
but mainly it's just the moments I am smiling and with the right people
that I forget about the distortions of my body and my face

call me a kaleidoscope
my vision dances when you enter my dreams
i can't focus on anything
but the distance between you and me tonight

i know i already wrote two poems tonight,
but i just remembered how
last night at 2am we were sharing a tiny blanket
and when i started to slightly shiver or shift,
you tucked the whole blanket around me
(five minutes later I heard your teeth chatter)