False statements formalized
Righteousness forbidden
Truth forgotten and forsaken
With negative force
For the sake of forgiveness
In human form
Which we lack
We lose focus and fortitude
Unable to foresee
Human fall
In the following generation
Dreams lost in the fog
Innocents forlorn and forfeited
Forever
We left with
Phobia of being humen
In the dark forest
No one’s fault
Saint Bernardino of Siena
Died in fourteen forty four
******, usury and fornication
Took over the world
People gambling for power
Natives killing folks
Because they are foreigners
Humanity forgone
Our homes are foxholes
The world turned cold and formidable
With forbidding souls
These are no longer the lands
Of our patriotic forefathers
We failed to follow their tracks
To forfend their heritage
Forbye fomenting cultural barriers
Because of power and fortune
We remained
Phoney and folly
We lost forethoughtfulness
We are done, humanity foredone
And forgone
What for?

I lie awake at night
Soaking my pillow with tears
With the phobia of falling in love again
That has brought me eerily nightmares
Ever since you left
The winter night is long and cold
My heart suffers the pain of old
As this loneliness wrinkles my soul
I feel so suffocated in this darkness
My soul wanders alone
In the valley of my miseries
Under the dim light
Of the cold moon in these sleepless winter nights
I am dying of living with these
Horrific frightful fears
Of falling in love
With the lost soul of Mona Lisa
While you still exist
In the depths of my erratic queer imaginations
You have been gone for an eternity now
I stare at your depiction to soothe my heartache and soul
Hoping to eye your flesh some night again
When the evening dusk swallows the sun-rays
Shading the grey sky with the darkness
My mind sadly invokes our good memories
When we used to sing and dance together
Today I dance alone with your shadow
In the rhythm of a sad silent song
When we used to laugh together
Today I laugh alone with the echo
Of your voice dancing under the cold  caves
Of my mind while uttering silent words
Will this be a lifelong loneliness?

For I shall never
Let you walk the path of the doomed
With a crying song
In the weeping of the empty soul
Lament of the missing scent
Of affection

Carrying no more or less hope
To the light
Mending fragments
Of the broken heart

Tomorrow
The waves of the peril shall ebb away
We trust

Amid the dusk and the dawn
Beneath the shadowy
Light of the cold moon
Little star in the sky
Shall guide us to freedom

And in the rise of the sun
Thou shall grin
And kiss again
And reflect to one another’s heart
Like the ocean and the moon
In the midnight harmony
The beauty of love is pure
And natural

My blood is black
I bleed ink
My heart is beating faster
My soul is swollen of words unspoken
My veins are leaking
My room is full of ink
Spilt
On mirrors and windows
Punch lines and metaphors
Roaming around
Nightmares of ink floods
Painting alliterations and rhymes
All over my walls
Vivid pictures painted in words
The image remains clear in your mind
Felt deep in your heart
Asking my soul rhetorical questions
Ink flowing down my eyes
I cry
I spit figures of speech
In poetry silence is a cliché
Perfection doesn’t exist
Poetry is my Philosophy
My religion my spirituality
This piece is a plea
Which shall set my soul free
I write from the heart
I write and voice out
My thoughts and feelings
My blood vessels contains ink
I’m a poet
It is written in my face’s skeleton
With fourteen bones
I’m a sonnet
The DNA test says
My genes are of the
Offsprings of Don Mattera
Maya Angelo and William Blake
Soon I will physically perish in your eyes
But I will always be there
When the world needs me
You will find my life, my soul
My dreams lying in a page full of ink
Because poets don’t die
Authors don’t die
All writers don’t die
They live forever
And I was born one of them
I was born an artist

All sweet deceits
and false impressions
of the devil

Misguiding the innocent
laid content behind the falling wall
enticed by the glamour of the sinking ship
profaning the throne of the divine servant

Compelled to go and spell
the gospel of the Messiah
sacrificing eternity for
fleeting moments of the witty absurdity

Fame, future
usury and power
all shall fade and disappear
and all those who devoted themselves
and chose to lean against the falling wall
shall fall along

Indeed
Those who exalted themselves will be humbled
and those who humbled themselves will be exalted

My life is full of complexities
Still you remain first on my priorities
For it is hard for you to understand
It seems like I lack commitment
I lack devotion
You love and hate me
You smile and cry over my shoulder
Tears fell on my flesh
Touching my heart
I can feel your pain
You kiss me deep
And hold me strong in your arms
You make me feel your warmth
But your heart is feeble and cold
I can feel your breath running down my spine
The scent of your love
Is so strong, so pure
Calling you name
Is a love song for my heart
Healing my soul
Your eyes translate vows of eternal happiness
Nature changes four times a year
Days with sunrays
Nights with stars and moon
Gleaming bright in the sky
Still
I haven’t seen something of your beauty
I was never a big fan of science
And
Its elements and compounds
Yet
the chemistry between our souls
Is hard to ignore
The affection
I feel is so strong
This is our souls love song
While we live long

Time unkept
Deeds undone
Cold secrets
Words unspoken
Left her heart broken

Memories of yesterday vanished away
Feelings forlornly fray
Against sorrow
Tormented soul sobbing
In despair
Wailing in silence

Darkness engulfing affection
Dreams became misery
Shadows of anguish roaming around
Haunting her soul
Tears fell endlessly
From the core of a broken heart

Love felt like abyss
Ashes that were once flames
Of love
Fanned away
Vows were just on behalf
Of empty promises
And her life was ruined
By a married man

And she was pregnant
Finding herself
In don’t call me
I’ll call you situation

Frustration
And
Aggression
Left her drowning deep in depression
Her life became perdition

Time known
Of healing broken hearts
Time she will spend fretting deep in regrets
Raising the baby who will always invoke
His sweet deceptions, the pain he caused
Distressing memories

She got herself
In danger
When she fell in love
With a stranger

How much do you believe in first impression?

When we drown deep in fortune and money
We forget who brought all the honey
Yet
When we drown deep in life crises
That’s the only time we remember who Christ is

I Can right de way I want
Bcoz I tok de way I WANT
TeLL me I’m rong
I ekspress my fillings through poetry
I can rite about everything
Without feaR
Poetry daznt allow me to supress!
My FILLINGS
I no this is not kompellinG
With eras in my spelling
Don’t ASK mi y
Jast REED my eras
I’M taryard of yu piple
Traying to tell me wat to du
End wat’ not 2 du
Kontroling mi lyf
While yours is folling apart
Eye don’t really liv mi lyf
To pruve piple’s perseptions
.Write or rong
Abawt my lyf
Mind yo own business
End liv mi lyf alone
Kip quet and read Mi eras
BECOZ EVRYTIHNG I do
Is rong
Im eva rong to you
NoTHing beautifull;
Yu eva tell about me_
So suit yourself/
(End reeD mi erAs

Her beauty glows perfectly
Like a dawn through the dark

Even though
She was a biltong
Shrunken like lilies of the desert
In a broken summer time

Lean with bold head
Her eyes gleaming tears
Still beautiful like aqua in the sunshine

Her smile full of sorrow
I evoked the resemblance
We once hold hands back in the village
And my heart still melts
And smiles when nearer to thy soul
Thou amazing woman

Diffidently she came close
Her lips dry and emaciated
Her hands cold
Felt gaunt like chicken feet
Her young face wrinkled
And whispered in my ears

Her quivering voice
A dulcet harmony of the dawn chorus
Serenading the nature of my being

Soon I could die
Please let your heart
Not to fall in love with me
Look what cancer has done to me
I have Leukemia
The smell of death is all over my breath
It feels like my body is rejecting my soul
I’m dying

Exhaustion of Sleepless nights
And the sun rises with slurs
The world stares at me with insults
And diagnose my disease with their eyes
Apparently I’m *** positive

Is this what you also see in me?
A disgrace
A ** who got what she deserved
Yet she used to be divine and reserved

You know
It is so sore, so sore and sore
To see your own infant, your own flesh
Frightened in your arms
And crying for someone else
It breaks me apart

If you could feel the pain I'm in
you would understand what I mean
I’m scared of living
And I’m scared of dying too

What do you really love in me?
The resemblance
Of your teenage infatuation

Really?

And I said
There is a cure
A cure for your disease
Cancer can be healed
I can never let you die

You are the lamp of my soul
When I’m drowning deep in the dark of misery
I was born incomplete
And you were the missing part of my life
Without you I’m just a song with no rhythm
A piece of poem with no theme
Let me love you more
Because I do love you more

And after sometime in fairyland
After her chemotherapy treatment
We were engaged

Fell in love
Before the due season
Before the rise of the harvest moon
Watching the growth
Of the crops
The season long
In warm and cold nights

Breathing love pure
Like a Shepherd to his lambs
Scaring trespassers away
Down by the river banks

I’ve been the enemy of the sparrow
A friend of a numb heart

Like a scarecrow
I stood lonely with my arms open
To wrap them around your flesh
It’s been a long time coming
Donkey’s years went by
And I haven’t reap
From the grains

And the fields are dry and empty again
I’m still waiting
Like a fisherman
In the desert
Unrequited love
I’m just a scarecrow

and my arms are still open
crucified

The language of gestures
Left me wandering in cold captures
With my soul stranded
Standing in the sea shore
Watching you riding woeful waves
Crossing the ocean of anguish
Swimming towards the cold moon
Perhaps a tomb will be your home soon
We both thought death shall do us part
But deceits fed you with  forbidden fruit
To spite your warm heart

As
Silent words were articulated loud and clear
In the atmosphere
Severely rending my heart apart like a rifle spear
Still I remained calm and sincere
Trying to conceal my pain and fear
In that silent disastrous storm

They mingled with their eyes and fingers
Nodding their heads furtively
Behind my back
Unaware that my eyes were listening
My eyes cought you in adultry
And my mind wanted to stone
your heart
But, who am I?
Because I have sins too

And the memories
Of yesterday disappeared
In a blink
Like today should be the first chapter of Genesis
Perhaps it’s just a queer neurosis
Of imaginations
That tells me
Nothing existed yesterday, or
Maybe she was just a beautiful mermaid
Of the wander land
And now she is gone
And gone forever

I was on my way home from work
Before I could open the door
I heard someone screaming
I went in and saw a man lying down on the floor
Blood all over his torso
A broken vase near his head also

Pretty had Angela on her left arm
And a knife on her right hand
“He is dead” she screamed
“Who is he?’ I asked
“He is dead… he is dead”

I had to think fast
And make a plan to save my family
Angela was only two years old
So I have to sacrifice for my family
And take the bullet

I speedily called Frank
A friend of mine
From Rwanda,
But now his family moved to Swaziland
So I called him
Before I could call the cops
To come over and take Pretty and Angela
To her uncle’s house
I asked Pretty to take a quick bath
While we waiting for frank
Frank came in a blink

And I was left alone terrified
With a strange man’s corpse
I took a deep sigh and called the cops

After spending three weeks in trial
I was prosecuted life
For homicide
In Cape Town’s maximum security prison
As I went to the cell
Walking on the red carpet of blood
Leading my soul to perdition
Inmates yelling at me like
Vultures in the sky seeing a prey
I was fearless
Because my heart was numb
My life became hell in prison

There were screams
Wailing and moaning
Every night in those cold cells
And I had no choice but to adapt
In prison life

Pretty never came to visit
But she wrote me letters
And sent me Angela’s pictures
That made me pray every day for parole
So I could see my little angel growing
But time went by with no luck
Four years came and pass by
And now it’s been three months
I haven’t receive any letters
From Pretty

I wrote a letter to Frank
Asking about my family
And he didn’t reply
Not knowing whether he received the letter
Or he is just ignoring me
And that made me fret alone
Maybe I was a fool to take a bullet
Maybe this was a setup
Between Pretty and Frank
Why did he came so fast when I called him?
Or maybe frank knew about this man
What about my angel ?…Angela

And I soon suffered nervous system problems
My mind was distracted
And I had to see a neurologist
And psychologists
To help my problem
I had to attend support groups in prison
And that’s where
I heard worst cases than mine
And I began to understand the world
And it's human beings

After fourteen years in prison
My prayers were answered
I was given a parole
And I was sent home
It was a life time relief
I couldn’t wait long to see my family
After so many years apart from one another

I went home
A town looks different
So many changes out here
We got the address but the house was sold
We found a man and his wife and they seem to be old
I asked about Pretty or Angela
But no one knows them
“Who did you buy this house from” I asked
“Frank… from a guy called Frank
He had to go back home” they said
I felt down, but I had to do something to find frank
Because I need answers …I need my family

So I went to one of my friend who was a truck driver
For more than twenty years
He usually drove to all South African bordering countries

After two long weeks, we drove to Swaziland
And we find Frank home
With his parents, siblings
And a pregnant teenage girl
With a familiar resemblance
It felt like a déjà vu
Asked frank in private
He came out and handed me a letter
To read

Dear Innocent
I know how much you love me
And how much you love Angela
I’m sorry you had to go through hell
For my sin
My life is hell too... of guilty conscience
Secrets that I kept from you
And I couldn’t dare
To face you in jail, knowing that
I’m the one who should be there
I’m sorry I lied
I could have stopped you from taking the bullet
But I was terrified

A man that I killed was my onetime boyfriend
He was Angela’s father

Suddenly the blue sky became dark
My eyes became bleary
I couldn’t read any further
I felt cold and exhausted
My veins became weak and weary
My senses went numb
My joints became loose
I couldn’t help myself I cried
My soul was petrified
Memories of life in jail
Came back to my mind

And Frank said “Pretty committed suicide
Seven years back”
“Where is Angela” I asked

He glanced to my rear view
I turned around and I saw a pregnant young girl
With her mother’s resemblance
Tears fell down her face and I gave her
A hug…and asked
“Where is the father?”

She also glanced at my rear view
I slowly turned around again
Frank looked down in shame
I couldn’t get any angry
I was weak for anger
And I left for a walk
To cool my mind
And Angela followed me

I promised that I will love her
And take care of her
No matter what the circumstance
And now its time to keep that promise
She is still my little angel
And always gonna be my innocent pretty angel

Attraction and impression
Expression
Vows and promises
Sacrifices
Smiles, joy and happiness
Fun, roses, aroma and
Romans
Lust
Hugs, kisses and passionate love
Trust
Fantasy, dreams
Love letters and midnight calls
Proposals
Engagements
Family and friends
Weddings
Honeymoons
And five star hotels
Insecurity
Truth and Lies
Disappointments
Down falls
Broken promises
Fears, tears
And broken hearts
Loneliness
Pain and silence
Sleepless nights
Regrets, anger and sorrow
In despair
Depression
Desperation and obsession
Fretting, stress and suicide
Consolation
Confession
Commitment
Forgiveness and peace
Memories, smiles
Hugs and kisses
And true love again

I was once bullied, beaten
Burned and buried
With sneering slurs

I was an introvert
I gave them love
My compassion
I gave them all I had
They took advantage of me
And still I kept giving
And they took everything
And left me with nothing else to give
But hatred

I was afraid to say no
I felt feeble to stand my grounds

They made fun of me
My ragged garbs
And I could only watch them
Having fun amusing each other
Ripping my soul apart
My heart full of scars
Moaning in sorrow

They made me hate school
I was afraid to raise my hand
And
Ask when I did not understand
Afraid to do presentations and orals
And I failed…Morons
I called them friends
My Classmates

Yet
They filled me with vicious resentment
Burning in my chest
My eyes bleeding Vengeance
My breath became a feral windstorm
Terminating my feelings
I saw nasty curs when I grimaced at them
I tortured and killed insects
Burning them alive because all I could see
Were their evil faces
And I was killing myself
All along

Along the road I forgave them
And started to hate myself
For being a victim of cowardice
I have no one to blame
But myself
They did not chain my hands
Or latched my mouth
I was a coward
I couldn’t man up and defend myself

Or
Maybe I wasn’t scared of them
But
I was scared to become one of those undisciplined
Oaf minded juveniles

You shouldn’t disguise your actual self
To look better
To conform with friends
I am who I am
Not who they want me to be
I trashed myself more than they did
And I have learned my lesson

Your smile
Is a fine art
Exhibited in my
Heart’s screen
Soothing my soul
From a distant depression
From dystopia
In your absence
I lose focus, I feel sorrow
I feel pain
Still I keep fighting
For you presence
Persistently
Because my hope tells me
To go on looking for your soul
For we belong together
In harmony
You and I
Dwelling in one happy soul
And
I vow from the core of my heart
That
Only death shall do us part
Your presence is a trap of my happiness