All alone I sit,

Waiting for the day,

When finally someone will come along,

And never walk away.



I cry myself to sleep,

As I think about the pain,

My heart is now silent,

I just think there's nothing left to gain.



Sometimes the pain is just too much,

That I just want to forget,

So I depart from the aching rest,

And a blade I soon will get.



A hurting heart,

And hidden scars,

I always wonder,

Why I am so far.



I' silent about the pain,

The depression,

And the strife,

Because no one seems to care,

So I drag the piercing knife.



Blood starts to spill,

Memories seem to flee,

And for one sweet instant moment,

I start to feel free.



I drag the blade again,

More blood gushing out,

The pain has taken over,

As I scream and shout.



Much time has passed,

The depression never left,

I feel isolated from joy,

Because no matter what... I can't forget.

This is a deception; it's a masquerade

You'll of course picture a cheerful parade

I'll fade from your memory; happy and smiling

Often laughing and most times beguiling



Take no note of my mask's crumbling surface

I lived through my life without any purpose

And I'll always stay trapped, inside of your mind

A guy, willingly helpful and foolishly kind



But behind the scenes, I'll cry myself to sleep

And this illusive image, of me I will keep

I've never held close, my family and friends

But you'll never know this, until the show ends



The show, it'll end suddenly; so that you may see

How quickly the world has changed without me

And I'll be left fading, from the people's mind

As they cherish every moment, of me left behind



I'll carefully fold and leave behind this note

Stained with tears and guilt; last one that I wrote

As you slowly reveal in it, the many reasons why

I finally decided it was time for my "goodbye"



You'll re-read it, you'll drop it and begin to cry

And you'll remain this girl, broken and shy

As my gentle words leave trails of tears engraved

You regret me being the one, that you could have saved



You'll uncover my pain; I was bruised and torn

As too many nights passed, I wished I wasn't born

Then you'll tear up, regret accepting my fate

You'll realise that we shared the same stupid hate



And in the distance, the wind chimes they'll sing

As the bitter Winter slowly fades to Spring

I'll stay captive, in a cage of reminiscence

As you embrace my fading image of innocence



So I closed my eyes, I died weak but brave

And I know that someday, you'll stand upon my grave

And the Autumn leaves, they'll whisper my name

As you gently bow down, your head in shame