Even with 218 miles between us,
I still feel your lips on mine
And your hand
On the small of my back.
Your whisper travels highways
To flutter softly in my ears
And I can see your eyes twinkle,
The two brightest stars in my sky.
Even with 218 miles between us
I still feel your heart beat,
In perfect time with mine.

I was struck with deja vu,
As you took my hand in yours
And spun me, from my dreams,
Out onto the dance floor.
Our eyes locked,
As they must have once before
And your body pressing against mine,
Once again, made my heart soar.
I swear we've lived this moment
Half a million times
Though some of those were in my dreams
And another 30 in my rhymes.
My dear, I hope this dance never ends.
I hope that midnight bell never chimes.

All my friends
They go to any ends
To be on that silver screen
They wanna be large
They wanna be stars
They just wanna be seen
So they pop pills
And seek thrills
And sell their souls for some green
Their passion gets lost
In the glamour and gloss
Til they don't know what life means

Its half past two as I etch these words alone in the dark. And even with the thousands of combinations out 26 letters allow I can’t string them together aptly enough to describe the pain of missing you.

That man, he's got eyes that shine,
Like the ocean in the morning time.
He comes and goes
Just like the waves,
And as he goes
He calls my name.
That man, He's deeper than the sea
And from the depths he calls to me.
He's got highs and lows
Just like the tide,
Yet through his lows
He won't say goodbye.
That man, he leaves a wake behind,
And like the sea he churns and grinds.
He's both the calm and the storm.
Always changing,
He's cold and warm
But his cold, never estranging.

i.
I may not have noticed you the first time,
Or the second.
But when I did,
That smile hit me like a freight train.

ii.
When you first pulled up,
In that grey suit of yours,
With that little pink tie
And you kissed me slow and soft
I knew you weren't a mistake.

iii.
I gave you all I had,
Everything,
Without a single regret.

iv.
That night you lost your keys,
And we got stuck at the reservoir
In the middle of the night
I pretended to be mad.
But that was the night
I knew I loved you.

v.
I wrote about you a lot.
I always wanted to show you,
But I was too scared.
I still have the poems,
In an envelope somewhere.

vi.
The night you said I love you,
I almost cried for joy.
I really did cry
When you said it again.

P.S.* These are all for you. There has been no one since, and no one before you either.

You are the passion that makes your eyes light up
The words that escape your cracked lips
And the thoughts that keep you warm on a cold night
You are your crooked smile
Your broken fingers
Your scarred legs
And the words that flow from your pen like tears
But most importantly
You are your own

I've never felt such freedom
As walking barefoot down the lane
Letting my lungs fill with lightning
And my heart the smell of rain
My footsteps echo with the thunder
My hands tangle with the sky
Yes I know the storm is coming
And my dear it is I

Once upon a time, when I was young, I met a man. He had eyes that shone and reminded me very much of spring. I must admit, however, I did not notice him at first, but the third time was the charm. Though we didn't speak that night, our eyes never strayed from each other. Kissing him was all I could think about. The next day, when he spoke to me, I knew it was the start of something beautiful. Soon I got my kiss. From the high I got off that kiss I began to fall, I still haven't stopped falling. Things moved quickly after that. That man with the shining eyes soon took my heart and what little innocence I had left. In short, I loved him. Long days, late nights, love poems and, admittedly, a few fights, came to pass. We sang loudly and off key, some songs good, some horrible. We drove to absolutely nowhere hand in hand kissing at every stop sign and red light. We made mistakes and bad decisions, we acted like fools and laughed til we cried. I wrote him love poems he'd never read and learned about his friends, family, and favorite color. We watched stupid TV shows and talked on the phone til the sun came up. He comforted me when I cried and I like to think I did the same. He said I love you twice, the only times I could let myself say it to him. That was a beautiful year and a half I spent with the man with the shining eyes. He'll forever be the ocean to me. But now he's gone, and I'm not quite sure why. The long days are filled with pain, the late nights due to lack of sleep from thinking about him. I don't sing anymore, I don't like how my voice sounds without his. The cheap food we used to buy doesn't satiate me anymore and all the colors he brought into my life dissolved as quickly and abruptly as our bond had. Once upon a time, when I was young, I met a man. He had eyes that shone and reminded me very much of spring. He was my downfall.

I search the world over for my inspiration. I find that inspiration comes more with the bad than the happy. Loss. Fear. Heartbreak. Depression. They inspire art to be made. Words to be written. Notes to be played. So in the sadness of the world is there not beauty? Who is to say only happiness and beauty and love are beautiful to our souls when sadness is what we all relate to. Sadness is something we all have shared. Not everyone has had a happy moment. But everyone has had their moment of weakness. Of sadness.

There's an infestation in my head
Like a zombie I'm walking dead
I'm running on empty
There's nothing left in me
Except the smoke in my lungs
Climbing my ribs like ladder rungs
How come everyone's better off than me
Why wasn't I made to feel pure ecstasy
Is the wiring a little ******* up in my head
Is that the reason I'm always seeing red
Or am I just crazy
With my mind running free
Dragging its feet
Down every dark street
Where it knows it shouldn't be
But God does it hate me
So I'm like a chicken without its head
Running and running til I fall over dead
But this path is scary
And I can't see
They won't even give me a spark
Cause the truth comes out in the dark
We struggle forever with the falsity
That we're better off with conformity
But if we're all the same in the head
Maybe, just maybe, we're better off dead

My hands are shaking
And my nerves are shot
My whole body is quaking
And my heart's in a knot.
I need a quick release,
For some dopamine to flow.
I need to make some peace
And I needed it long ago.
So now I'm just blowing smoke,
Lips wrapped around a cigarette.
I'm out here going broke
But I feel no regret.
I'm spending all I got
Burning through packs.
I'm so **** distraught
And I just can't relax
Till the nicotine kicks in
And the smoke pours out.
I keep on giving in
Cause I just can't do without.

All that I've got
Is all that you gave me
So I never thought
I'd be so **** empty.
I gave you all the love
My heart ever held,
But now I'm left thinking of
My now living hell.
Its all I've got left,
Without you
My heart is bereft.
Dear, you've got me so blue.
Ever since that day
I've tried leaving you
But there was no way,
My soul's torn in two
And its tearing me apart,
Trying to love you.
You've broken my heart,
Dear, you've got me so blue.

Bones.
Homes.
Hearts.
Minds.
All of these,
Must someday break.

I can't help falling in love with you,
Or the way that you move.
Like a river flows,
Or two plus one is three,
Dear that's the way it goes,
Some things will always be.
So don't just take my hand,
Take my heart too.
God knows this wasn't planned.
I can't help falling in love with you.
And I know it hasn't been long
But I just can't help my self.
And maybe I am wrong,
But I don't have eyes for anyone else.
With that look in your eye,
What else can I do?
And although I try,
I can't help falling in love with you.
So don't just take my hand,
Take my heart too.
God knows this wasn't planned.
I can't help falling in love with you.

He feels like Carolina,
Looks like California,
Shines like those city lights in Philly.
He's wild as Wyoming,
With eyes like the Montana sky.
He's exotic like Hawaii,
Even though he's from Detroit.
He feels like Carolina.
He feels just like home.

This one's for the rebels and outcasts,
The Kubricks and Kerouacs.
This one's for the lovers,
And the poets undercover.
We'll run, run away
To a brand new day,
With no rules to obey,
Far from all those shades of grey.
So come dear,
Abandon all your fear,
Our future will be so clear,
When we live as cavaliers.
We'll lead a mutiny,
Until we're living free,
Away from all the scrutiny,
We'll run dear, just you and me.
So come dear,
Abandon all your fear,
Our future will be so clear,
When we live as cavaliers.
So all hail the outlaws,
Come on and join their cause.
All hail the cavaliers,
Living free as fear.

Put your two cents in,
Speak up for change kid.
It's time to make your mark
On this world that you're living in.
You're society now,
You're another number,
But you've gotta strive
To be an outlier.
Tip the scales
So they're weighed in your favor.
You gotta change the world
Till you like its flavor.
Put your two cents in,
Speak up for change kid.
Its time to make your mark
On this world that you're living in.
Shoulder some blame
And stop worrying about fame.
Whether its the fight
That made Martin Luther the king
Or you're standing up for something right
Or just doing the right thing.
Put your two cents in,
Speak up for change kid.
Its time to make your mark
On this world that you're living in.

We've become cliché,
And not just one,
But a multitude.
The forbidden romance.
The older man.
The late night phone calls.
The cigarettes after ***.
The hopeless romantics.
The songs we sing to each other.
The late night drives to nowhere.
The fling that never ends.
We've become cliché.
And I couldn't be happier.

Love is a cold war,
I'm a colder soldier.
My heart has become barren,
A frozen wasteland.
Cracked like the ice
That encases it.
Its been the target
Of many a snowball's chance.
So now I hold
Strong and cold
With weapons in hand
Prepared for this cold war
Which has made me
Even colder.

I am colorblind
Without you, dear.
I lost red,
When you stole my heart,
A little bit of blue
With every tear that fell for you,
Green when I
Looked into your eyes for the last time.
I lost yellow when I lost you,
Cause you shone like the sun,
Purple went too,
With the last time you kissed my neck.
Pink disappeared when you did,
You took your favorite color with you.
I am colorblind
Without you, dear.
Now all that's left
Is the grays of stormy skies ahead.

The purple marks on her white canvas
Are complimented by splashes of red.
A glint of silver shines bright
On her blue finger tips.
Her brown eyes,
Now a milky shade of white,
Are almost as dark
As her heart
That is now **black

The curse of complacency
Is all in my mouth,
I'm choking
On its bittersweet taste.
I want to cut the ties
To the sandbags holding me down.
I want to float away
Across the seas,
Drink up countries
To quench my wanderlust.
I want to discover the mysteries
Each continent has to hold.
To relish
In uncertainty,
But complacency
Is just so comforting.

The smell of tulips will forever be
Inextricable from that of cheap *****,
And I'll never quite be able to enjoy the taste
Of jelly thumbprint cookies without
Tonguing the teeth you knocked out
The first time we made them.
And I've always preferred open kitchens
So I don't have to think about how many times
You broke the door to ours.
And while I wish we spoke more-
I still remember when mouths were fists,
And words broke bones.
And though I know its in the past,
I still see the glint in your eyes
When a bottle goes by.
Time has healed our wounds;
My adult teeth replaced the gaps,
And you always replaced the door the next day.
We laugh freely now, and the tulips still grow
In the garden on your balcony.
But I'd be lying if I told you
That I can't still see the scars,
Or that the fear doesn't still linger
In our silent moments.
That sleeping with a knife under my pillow
Didn't start when you were still tucking me in.

I'm lost,
I don't know what to do.
I've got this hammer in my hand
But I'm pounding on a *****.
I've gone too far
There's no turning back.
Even the fundamentals,
I lack.
My head's spinning,
And my tears begin to flow
But through all of this
I'm grinning
Why?
I don't know.
Smart's gone crazy
I don't know if I'm asleep or awake
What once was clear is hazy
And I don't know if I'll live.

Its been 243 hours and 27 minutes since we last talked.
(Not that I'm counting)
Its been 2 weeks since I felt your lips on mine.
(Not that I'm counting)
I haven't slept in over 8 days
(Not that I'm counting)
And my heart has shattered into 286 pieces.
(Not that I'm counting)
I tried counting the times you took my breath away.
(I lost count)
I even tried counting the nights I dreamt of you.
(The number was too high)
I was reduced to counting the times I loved you, and never said it.
*(I'm bad at math anyway)

Crowded rooms
Are the emptiest places
For rebels and outcasts.

No I’m not ok. Can’t you see I’ve never been that way? There’s something inside me that never fails, to break me down to cries and wails. I can’t find a fix. I can’t find a cure. I’m stuck with this sickness. Stuck for sure. Where’s the antidote to my disease? Help me find it. Help me please? My life is swirling down the drain. Help with my life. With my pain. I tried to stand strong but I’ve been breaking all along. Who are you to try and understand? Who are you to take my hand? Say its all fine. Tell me it’ll be better down the line? Where’s the antidote to my disease? Help me find it. Help me please? My disease won’t go. Its here to last. Someone help me and help me fast. Help me please? Cure my disease? I’ve gotta stand up nice and tall. Work through the pain through it all. But I fall to pieces every time. It’s not just me on the line. This killing sickness, this draining disease. Keeps me swinging on a high trapeze. I know it’s soon when I’m gonna fall. I don’t know at all. Who I’m supposed to be. To get rid of what’s ailing me. You don’t know how I feel. You don’t understand that it’s all real. That life just tries to bring me down. It’s not a joke cause I’m no clown. Well I’m sick I need my medicine. Hey guess what? The doctors in. I said hey guess what? The doctors in!

I loved you as Icarus loved the sun,
Dangerously, too hot, and too close.
And so I fell into the sea.
You lured me out
With your siren's song,
Till I fell again, this time into love.
I loved you as Samson loved Delilah,
Wildly, blindly, and openly.
And so I fell, among my hair, to the kitchen floor.
You picked me up, just by the heel,
And left it open to Cupid's arrow,
Till I fell again, on a battlefield caused by love.
I loved you as only I could,
Dangerously, blindly, and freely,
And so I knew you'd be my downfall.

I'd hang a dreamcatcher above my bed,
If I thought it would keep you out of my head.
Because I've wondered, since age eighteen,
About all the things that might have been.
Unsure, I have tread lightly,
Though your lips haunt me nightly.
I awake, hopeful but unsure,
That I crossed your mind the night before.
And I am haunted by how real your lips seem,
Because I know you are just a dream.
I'd hang a dreamcatcher above my bed
If I thought it would keep you out of my head.

What we have here
Is a dreamer,
Someone completely out of touch
With reality.
Someone who jumped
Thinking they would fly.
Who knew
The rain falls because they cry.
What we have here
Is a dreamer,
Someone whose naivety
Got the best of them.
Someone who ran
Thinking no one could catch them.
Who knew
The world spun for them.
What we have here
Is a dreamer,
Someone who was killed
By a nightmare.

You're not my cup of tea.
(You don't put me to sleep)
You're not quite my cup of coffee either
(Though you do wake me up)
Instead you're my shot of whiskey.
(You make me feel alive)

When I was made
Someone must have ******* up the wiring.
There's a short in my brain,
Like water was spilled on it.
Now there's smoke pouring out my ears
And the gears stopped spinning.
I think a wire got disconnected
With the first blow I took to the head.
Now I'm smoking like a chimney,
But that's alright,
Its all electrical.

Ever since you left
I only shoot up with memories of you
They're the only thing
That I have left of you
You have set your mind
On keeping my eyes
Always looking behind
Searching for you
Ever since you left
You haven't let me forget
That beautiful night
When our lips first met
You have set your heart
On making sure
That are always a part
Of this heart that beat for you
Ever since you left
I only shoot up with memories of you
They're the only thing
That keep me coming back to you
You have set your mind
On me searching
But never being able to find
Someone as good as you
And my dear
You've won

If every word I wrote to you
Could make you love me more
I'd write you a novel every day.
And then maybe,
By the end of our days,
You'll love me as much as I love you

We all have different faces that we wear from time to time. But with all those faces we sometimes forget the one that truly matters. Our own. And we lose ourselves in a void of lifelessness. No feeling, no thought. Just an empty shell of a person left to rot and blow away in the wind.

Faces, faces everywhere.
Faces who don’t know but care.
Faces I’ve grown to love, but now I can’t even look.
It’s not just a chapter it’s the whole book.
The rotting book wet with tears. That holds my life and my fears.
The spine is breaking, the pages falling out.
On every page it’s scribbled out.
So no one can see the words that haunt my mind.
So no one can see the faces only I can find.
The faces fly away, leaving me alone.
They close my book and my misery ends for a while.
But it’ll come roaring back soon.
Where’s my salvation?

Family?
You don't know the meaning of the word.
It's not about drunken mistakes,
Arguments that last for days,
Abuse that lasts for years,
Or scars that last a life time.
Blood doesn't make a family,
Because the blood between us
Runs thinner than water.
Family means love,
But that's never been in your hearts.
You're my worst nightmare,
But maybe that's just family.

You who hides your heart
your who fakes your smile
you who tears yourself apart
who thinks you're not worthwhile
come out of the dark
and into the light
come out of the dark
don't give up the fight
you with the scars on your wrist
you who cries alone at night
you who goes home to an angry fist
who listens while their parents fight
don't give up little fighter
don't let them win
don't give up little fighter
you'll be happier than you've been
you who has no hope to spare
you who feels alone
you who thinks no one cares
who has nowhere to call home
don't let a hell-bent heart leave you bitter
dear they'd **** to see you fall
when you think about the end reconsider
cause I'll help you through it all

I've counted every firefly
Waiting for you
One
You have stars in your eyes
Two
And stardust in your lungs
Three
Your voice will drip with honey
Four
My counting's just begun
Sixteen
Every day will be and adventure
Seventeen
I'll travel the world with you
Eighteen
We won't have to leave the bed
Nineteen
My world will be you
Forty-three
We'll compare scars
Forty-four
And swap the best stories
Forty-five
We won't care about accomplishments
Forty-six
We're each other's greatest glories
One hundred and eight
I'm getting lonely dear
One hundred and nine
I counted this firefly twice
One hundred and ten
The waiting will be worth it
One hundred and eleven
You'll be my only vice
One thousand and twenty-one
I don't think you're coming
One thousand and twenty-two
I lost count a long time ago,
I hope you're counting too.

I do not believe in
Love at first sight,
I know I have
Seen you before,
And I do not just
Mean in my dreams.
I do not believe in
Love at first sight,
I know I have
Loved you before,
Maybe in some
Long lost past life.

I know I have
Kissed your lips before
And got lost in
The light in your eyes.
I know we have
Danced on a thousand floors
Hopping, skipping, stumbling,
Again and again into each other's lives.

I do not believe in
Love at first sight,
I saw you first
Millennia ago.
I do not believe in
Love at first sight,
I've loved you more times
Than the world can ever know.

You made flowers grow under my bed
And in my  head
Where monsters used to hide.
You made tulips grow on my tongue,
Planted sunflowers in my lungs,
And violets in the bags under my eyes.
There are roses between my toes
And irises, growing in rows,
All down my spine.
You've made flowers grow, my dear,
In every corner of my mind.

You've made tulips grow under my bed
And in my head,
Where monsters used to hide.
You made roses grow in my broken heart
And violets in the bags under my eyes.
My tongue is now a bed of roses
Where your tongue longs to lie.
You've made flowers grow,
My dear,
In the darkest parts of my mind.

For the first time I am breathless,
Heart pounding in your presence.
For the first time my eyes are glued,
To this love I cannot elude.
For the first time I overlook the danger
Of falling for a perfect stranger.
For the first time I am lost,
And as a lover my stars are crossed.
For the first time I am in love,
Cause you're more than I've dreamed of.
For the first time my dear,
I am complete.

The sparkles in your eyes,
Captivate my mind.
You serenade me,
And set my heart free,
This hasn't happened for the longest time.
The music in your soul
Makes me lose control,
And is in perfect time
With all of my rhymes,
This hasn't happened for the longest time.
There's something in the way you move
That draws my eyes to you.
You gave a kick start
To my now love-struck heart.
This hasn't happened for the longest time.
If I only I knew
Why I'm inspired by you
And the sparkles in your eyes
Make me write.

Everywhere I go I bring my camera because I never know where something beautiful will be. When I look at people or places I’m always looking for my next shot or next movie scene. I think that people miss a lot of beautiful things because they have a set idea of what beauty is. Through a camera, however, beauty can be around every corner and in every person. I believe that the true meaning behind my work is finding beauty in the small things that people take for granted and the places and people that will change people’s views on true beauty. I want to show people that train tracks can be as beautiful as a forest path, that city streets can be the great outdoors, that abandoned fields can be mansions, and that every person can be a model.

I never realized just how many moments we had
Till I drove around our little town without you.
There were ghosts of you on every street corner
And phantom kisses on my lips.
Your voice played in my head like our songs had.
I can't forget all the beautiful moments
In every desolate corner of this town.
Every word, kiss, and every single touch
Is burned, deeply, in my mind.
So I'll leave pieces of it behind,
On each street corner, with your ghosts.
It's easier that way, for us both.

Give me fiction
Give me lies like never before
Cause lately
I've been wanting more
The truth is overrated
Its overrun
But most of all
Its overdone
So give me fiction
Spin me a wonderful
Web of lies
Make them meaningful
Don't be real
Please make it fake
Cause the truth
Makes my heart ache
So give me fiction
A beautiful tale
Trick me into thinking
We will never fail
Give me fiction
Give me lies like never before
Cause lately dear
I've been wanting more

These concrete streets
And passing cars
Have become my new
Jail cell bars.
Trapped in a city
Full of strangers
Got me feeling so empty,
And alone.
Surrounded by gray buildings
And even grayer faces
All speeding past
In their own rat races.
Round here
Everything looks the same,
And there's no cheer,
But baby there's no pain.
And round here
The colors have bled out
And there's nothing left but gray
Within and without.
We're all so empty,
Broken and alone,
Trapped in this city
That is no longer home.

Grief is the thing with feathers.
The thing in the rafters, dancing,
Just beyond my fingertips.
Grief is the thing in my bed.
The thing with strong arms
That refuse to hold me.
Grief is the thing with fur.
The thing winding itself about my legs,
Tripping me as I walk.
Grief is the thing in yellow.
The thing that's shining, mockingly,
Without keeping me warm.
Grief is the thing in the mirror.
The thing that looks like me,
But moves without me, still.