I've lost myself
Once again

I think it's better this way
To swim and never once think
About surfacing for air

I think it's better this way to gather
Gold and never once think about
Its holy volume until it's all spent

Today I got a perfect marks on an
Examination I'd previously failed and I
Adore this illusion of second chances

I think we should all be afforded this luxury

i built a hair trigger **** switch
on our union without really
meaning to

i'm too careful
or terrified
depending on my mood

i'm sorry you have to deal
with my mood swings and
my lingering depression

i can't stop reminding you that
the sun brings out the best in me
and that if we are just a little more
patient everything will be better

i'm done waiting

i need the summer now

I think I messed up again,
Father
And I come to you seeking answers
And I'm sorry that's all I ever ask for
But my mortality demands it
If I'm to remain sane

I start issues I can't resolve
And I know it's unfair to lay this all on you
But they told me this is what you're here for
So can we work on this together now
And go to trial later?

Everybody deserves to be happy
Since we were born to live and
Since evil people are just discontent

Biting my knuckles
I want you to play
That music louder
Please

Muffled French voices
On the radio --
It's all I want to hear

Tears down my face
Catching on my shirt
Hide it with that
Happy beat

What're you on about?
This time I swear it's
Nonsense
I swear that
Nothing's wrong

i can't do this alone

Cast in iron,
We are wardogs
Fighting to a
Bitter end

Justifying a heinous
Means, we cook good
Hearts until they are
Nothing more than
Smooth ash

Eyes and souls at war,
We are fit for short
Lives and expire
Quickly in our youth

Fate demands we serve
And meet our demise
At the hands of those
Whom we look up at

Not because they are
Higher than us but
Because they sit on
Lofty stools

You had to be there to live it
to feel it, to feel that wrath and peace and chaos and blood swirling round your face
so many were there, but not you
not anybody who's still around

i'm the only one who recalls this legacy
clocks don't tell, and neither do skulls

I can try to explain it
what it was like
but i never can
never could
never would

you'll never understand
the blood that was shed
the sky that was cut
the earth that trembled

my poetry lives to say
my blood warms to sway
my skull cracks to warn
my bones break to cry

Pulling on my heartstrings
Commanding every move
I know how you feel

I can feel your tension
Through these cords
This electric beat
Pounding through my brain

Blest be your eyes
Because they read mine
And don't call back

I'm nothing next to this mountain
And I've begun running
Lest it tear me apart

Take from the poor and give to
the poorer

Scorched lime on ashy
bread

Bronze in fist and silver
in tooth

You're surely ******,
highwayman

My mantra is
What goes around comes around
For I can trust in karma that
He who kicks my *** shall
Get whooped also by the
Mighty hand of God above

Karma's a *****,
Martin Shkreli

A man can only
Run from fate for
So long before the
World drags you back
Down to face reality
With the rest of us

On the behalf of the
World's moral side,
I hope you burn in Hell

i'm in a good mood now
so my hopes of writing a poem
tonight are dashed

Spent my afternoon musing over
a yearbook with my friends,
laughing about how we all
hate the same people

Ignoring how this love will
fade once we've all moved away
since the summer is nearly upon us
and loneliness will take hold

I met you in a cloud down by the quarry
And we were there to watch it when
God cursed the crows with their raucous
Voices because they told too many of His secrets
When he wasn't listening

Looking into your eyes I see a deep
History of ups and downs and
Promise and venom and I need you to
Hold on

Hey,
It's not that bad

You know that
You feel that
You see that
You're rounding out now and
Growing comfortable in this world
We've built up just
For you

Listen though, little fighter --
It's a tough place to survive but
I know you have
What it takes

i'm wishing you well
and i want to tuck you in
but that honor remains
to your own hands

filthy ******* disgrace

Perfect date site
With a café and
Everything

This is a refuge I
Found when I was
Young and it's all I
Can do to share it
With you

Today I made a comment
That could be considered
Misleading because I'm
Scared of the bullets that
Might fly from your mouth

I know it's impossible
So why do I bother?

Blasted on golden guns
with bullets flying,
shattering red veins

How can I expect to put
myself back together?

Don't.

Let me ascend to
hot heaven

There's no summer
without running into
lovers under the sun

Under the hot hot air,
you're beautiful beyond
simple conversation so
I'm sorry, but all I can
offer is a nod

"And if it takes forever,
Forever it'll be,"
I promised

And lying in the grass with
A perfect blue sky above me
I knew it had all gone to dust

And your perfect face haunted me for
Years because I began to wonder,
How could I have been so blind?

How sacred is a mystery?
Longer kept in its own veil
Than a human lifetime or the
Breath of a bachelor

Clutched to my chest like a
Dying heartbeat, this mystery
Is one I never wish to release

Hear the bugle call - the woods shudder

Beyond the eyes of glassy sands and
blue elm trees, blood pours in fountains

It soaks stone,
cracks granite

I seek him out, picking through faces unknown
to me and oft seen of you, seeking scents unfounded

Swipe, the blade goes, flinging at the end of my arm,
and the skull goes flying true

I'm hurt incredibly
Indelibly
Permanent ink on my skin
your sins won't easily
be forgotten because you
injured me and I left
you because I knew
something was wrong and
twelve months later I'm
finally discovering what
exactly that was

You loved me but I know
you never loved him;
I know he bored beneath your skin
and made a home in the warmth
because he has none for himself

He told you to push me away and
though I couldn't hear his words
I saw the effect they had on you

I hate you for ******* him when I
was still loving you, taking advantage of
the distance to fulfill the wants of the body
while milking me for the needs of the heart

You hurt me and
I want to hurt you

You're too fragile for that

Ceaseless shouting:
an echo in the light

Shadow has its mystery;
the sky 'nspires no plight

Bring it back to the days of
our forefathers and the infernal
cries of horror --

A constant back-burning is no
writ of lore

Dredge in the fields and harken to
our mother-chiefs, goats will be the
death of me, like me,
they gnaw on ancient skulls

Like spears cast in soil and seeds
sprouting young, the claw quick in
grass will scout the thunder's rolls

Blank as blanket clouds on northern holiday,
black as boots and blood in forests
deeper still, like the young crow's 'gotten trill;
death be found in my last shield's holes

Forgotten statuettes of Sophocles:
a hum of our queen's new families

"I am not your enemy,"
whispered words and blood
drips from bleeding lips

"You can trust me,"
hoarse voices carrying on
sour winter breezes

"I'm the god now,"
and strength returns once more
to one who deserved to die

full offense but
i will never fit in
i will never be valued
by who i want to be

on two feet i run
and go nowhere

i spend breath and
get none back

and if it must be said
i am over it

Lock and load, shut the door and
hide the guns

We're gonna to wait this one out

Baby, I do
Hold me when the lights go out
Kiss me when our ears bleed
Show your battle scars;
It's time we feel something new

There's blood on your breath
and ice in your heart
and I hate to see you fall apart
but life is born from death
and this is only the beginning

We're gonna wait this one out

For once, I'm warm in bed and
tired not because I'm a terrible
suitor to friendship but because
I walked two miles and gave up
halfway through

It wasn't a bad kind of giving up,
I just realized walking alone in
80-degree weather probably isn't
great for my physical health

I feel so good being myself;
I feel so comfortable without a crush
and I've got good music in my ears and
a good friend at my shoulder, and
all I need to be happy is all
I've got with me right now

If you ever forget how much
You mean to me,
I'll mail a bouquet of thistles
To your doorstep so you
Remember my sting

I'll blow you kisses from my bedside
And end my prayers with "Oh God,"
Because sacrilege is the best medicine
For mediocrity

... We'll imagine that you never suggested that we speak of how we'll imagine that you never suggested that we speak of how we'll imagine that you never suggested that we speak of how we'll imagine that you never suggested that we speak of how we'll imagine that you never suggested that we speak of how we'll imagine that you never suggested that we speak of how we'll imagine that you never suggested that we speak of how we'll imagine that you never suggested that we speak of how ...

No matter how far I am
how built-in my ego has to be
how much of myself I've
surrendered

I will always let my guard down
and assume I'm unique, assume
that I matter

I'm only worth anything to myself and
life is better, safer, when I keep that in
mind because I'm not special

I'm sorry I ran that way
I'm sorry that locomotive
Killed you on the tracks
And when I picked up the
Pieces you left behind, I
Found no way to repair you

Nothing short of God
Can mend shattered gristle
And blood spread over a million
Miles, I know that you still
Ride that train into the
Great forever

I take some comfort knowing
That you're seeing the world now
Like you said you always wanted to
Even if it's not like how we
Imagined it

Copper sunrise
Sand between my toes
Lips on mine
Sublime
Lean into it
And grasp the wind
Still when we hit the stones below
Take me to Indeset
I'm out of breath
Take me into you
Forever
Promise me that

Hey, wouldn't it be lovely
If we could set down our books
And sing to the sky
Like lunatics in the early dawn

I'm seventeen and I still can't talk
You forgot how to walk
And scraped your knee on the blacktop

I need a haircut;
Something simple that would leave it
Short on the sides and longer on the top
So I could style it back and realize my
Mirror-driven destiny

Hey, wouldn't it be great
If we could walk away and never look back
Like you knew how to walk
And I could still talk

we're caught up in illusions of dignity
i'm terribly afraid you'll see that
my blood is red instead of blue
or when my voice cracks you'll hear
how scared i am of losing you

when your teeth break my skin and
you feel my blood on your lips
i want you to know for whom it
flows so hot

on many lonely summer nights i can
feel it fading, the death of zeal, the
slow and steady mental nightfall, and
often i forget the happiness that crests
with rising sun

i love the days when the sky burns hot and
i find myself lost in your smile, our friends
filling my ears with laughter, my own chest
sore from running

night waits for no one, boy,
but neither does the day

We're a lost impossible
A doomed vernacular
Children of the Why and
Parents of the How;
I'm stuck between
Two ultimatums

I don't take thoughts hostage
Like my parents did and I
Won't forget the world like
Our descendants will

But I'm burning stolen time
And I don't plan on giving it back

Remember when two people worked together
To ruin a song for me?

Because on both ends of the balancing rod,
They gave a new meaning to the word insane
And I learned to avoid those younger than me

Give me darkness so I
may

Become light

I meant to take a shower
Seventeen minutes ago
And by the time this poem is
Written, the clock will read a little
Wrong and I'll be lost again

I'll feel a little bad again and
I'll forget what it feels like
To kiss someone and mean it
To love someone and mean it

Remember when it was
Exciting?

Neither do I

We were never good at talking things out,
tongues like switchblades

Never good at figuring ourselves out,
wills carved in evergreens

Your wide eyes never knew me
and your hands never touched my skin,
I know it needs to be this way so I
can get out of your mind

I got a glimpse of what I'm going to be
Last winter, a year ago
When I trekked New York City and bought
A pair of suede shoes and cursed
That statue of Abraham Lincoln in the
District of Columbia

I'm only getting answers now;
The questions are up to me
And there's a whole lot of freedom
When the Devil comes begging for mercy and
The world bows to do your bidding because there
Is nothing more powerful than a person
Who knows their mettle

You told me once that you
never really did love him,
that you were using him, and
this was supposed to make me feel better

Until I realized after I left you
that the same applied to me as well

Growing high like ivy,
not easily removed,
many years in the making,
the love I feel for you is taut
and unbreakable

paranoid fear
shadows dark
hastened escape

I don't know who you are
I don't know what I want

It hit hard like a punch to the gut,
People writhed all around me,
Staring at the sky and the ground
And anything but
Him

Seated beside me, eyes empty
As his life was recited for the world
To hear; it was like the Earth opened
Up and swallowed us whole

The courage you weathered is
Unimaginable; you're not a
Healer but a judge

we see best when our eyes are shut
you're too afraid to try
too scared of what you'll find
lurking beyond the paths you've
walked a million times before

nothing is written
but the items you cross off your list
turning green again
once the paper is used, once
you return it to the earth

it may regain life
as you
surrender

Distance is a savage *****
and she tears me apart,
ripping rib from flesh and
pouring blackened blood
that mingles with tears

The kilometers can ****
themselves

Moderation is healthy but
why must it be that the miles
separate us so?

You're my first kiss, my
first love and of course
something so amazing must have
a catch

I didn't think it would be this

Show yourself,
take what you want

Steal my words and my craft
and my beauty

I am more, I am the
killing song

I will rise above the waves and
slice their heads from their bodies

Rending flesh,
rendering muscle and sinew

Veins of sea spray down ******
rivulets, and there is nothing left

So, may we
start again?

I can see only a
Glimpse of your soul
And I understand that
You don't care for me

A photograph captures a
Piece of the spirit and
Yet your eyes reveal
Nothing