I hear a voice in my ear on odd Sundays,
it tells me to set my temple on fire
and sing to the sky
when nobody else is near

It's my cookbook of old confessions that
makes me want to kick the wall
and throw in the towel on my
biggest ambition

Nobody deserves love, I found,
and I found it on the lips
of a lover

I hear a voice in my head on good Fridays,
it tells me to leave my heart to the wolves
and look at the ground
when people start to leer

Nobody's got a ******* heart,
I realized, 'cept for those who
have everything to lose

Sing me that four five eight
and fold open my book
and read me till I touch the sky
and blame it all on you

i took your photo
so i may later
be riffling through
old memories
and find that this
one refuses to
collect dust

i wish my stories could tempt
tears like yours do
but such skills in storytelling
come from the heart
inspired by fear

when i hear your voice my
tongue bites and my ears
call for silence of the brain
so i can wholly focus on what
i might then hear

i know we can't laugh and cry
like we did just weeks ago
so close i could touch it
so far but only by a measure
of the past, where an instant is the
same as a year

reason says move on, now
for once my devils are silent
for i am the only survivor
of their awful ranks
this much is clear

there's seltzer in my skull
pockmarking my bones picking
at my marrow, eating me alive
i know how to fight things on
the skin but how do i defeat the
enemy when the enemy is me?

No love for the poor
No mercy for the dying
Our only hope is to steal from
the opulent and send their
souls up flying

i am lost in
these months
when the air begins to melt
the sky breaks like thunder
dry lightning storms as
a metaphor

we build bombs and
light them to appease
the clouds who cry back
and ask for more

we forget what sleep
feels like

i can't forget what
you sound like

above all the noise
i hear you

beyond the heat
i feel you

shared experiences in
moments of silence

Minutes since I last knocked on your door
And I can't tell why I cling to people who
Make me feel like I'm sick

I bought that coat for a little more n'
twenty dollars, she said.

He looked up and clenched his jaw, coat in hand. Ma'am, you were seen stealing this here jacket.

She protested and the man was going to call for security when the police cruiser arrived outside, silent but lights flashing

Your secret is safe with me, said the officer, and he took the jacket and the man perished, and the woman opened her palm to find a little more n' twenty dollars.

It was the middle of winter and the store was closed, and the corpse of a dead clerk stained the ground for the weekend before it was discovered by the night watch. There was no coat and no woman and the police officer's name was concealed.

Your friend almost killed us in his car
And you were strangling my brother
And when I called the police on you
I was happy you were safe

like a god he stands
perfect in the light
bathed by the sea
birthed of the soil
made of clay and stone
he is our envy

he is our pride, they tell me
he is who you can one day be
he is who the women want
he drives the farming plow
he sails the seven seas
he picks his perfect bride
he kills the evil man

to climb olympus is to seek
judgement from the gods
and so after tempering myself
i climb olympus

i say to them,
i cannot be him
and my brother,
he cannot be him

for it is suicide to try
and become something
which does not exist

"'There was passion without emotion,' read the book.

I burned the book and then my hand caught fire."

for three days i was your muse,
for three months i was the apple of your eye
and as long as the snow fell
you were on my mind

why do i still want to make you proud?
what did you see in me?
what did i see in you?
this is my mystery
because now you are lost to me

so long gone i still seek approval,
still sing your songs,
still defined by our legacy,
i've found i can't escape that of which i'm cast
we were never meant to last

rain-dappled asphalt and bones
bleached by midwinter sunlight,
the silent way in which snow met snow
the deafening way in which your breath
used to meet my skin

i need to let go
i need to
make you proud

i am glowing now
my eyes are dark like
fresh-tilled soil
my skin is soft like
the leaves of jungle trees
my voice is clear like
ancient spring water

i know what it means to
be new, now
to wake and feel it in your
bones, to
rise and feel like singing

there's a certain magic to looking
where the sun set just hours ago
pinning down a mountain on my map
driving there
standing atop the mountain
staring at the stars
and the city lights beyond

buffeted by high winds
cold breezes and
crisp gusts of air
skin kissed by the silvery
light of the moon

it's a journey i want
to make alone

flash back to just last month
i'm sitting on your bed
you're right there but
i feel so alone
the television's playing music
and i only want quiet

you can say so much with your eyes
i tricked myself into thinking we
didn't need words but now i know
we can't keep a conversation with
anything but our hands

conquering distant lands

with you i am intoxicated and
when i miss you i miss nothing but
your voice

at no other topic does my mind
backtrack like this, correcting itself,
forcing lessons i put off for so long

that when i am chided for having boundaries
it isn't me at fault

that when i am pushed to my limits
i shouldn't be jumping off

that when i hit the waves
i shouldn't try to breathe water

I'm on my one track mind
And all I can hear is the laughter
Of who I was twenty four hours ago

Can't give up now,
I tell myself
It's too early to lose faith in myself
But I'm all I got left

Except for, you know,
Everything else

Never really felt awful about
The way I slip in my rhetoric
And sink the world into these
Bogs of everlasting rot

It was my curse to inspire anger
But now in my path is
Sown sadness and though I will
It not, that's the way curses are

I never write down my poems and
They always rhyme,
Cast in dead images and
Forged by the lips of an angel

It's all I could hope for to make
It to the bottom

i remember the first day out of the installation better than most. we'd been locked up there for weeks, then months, under the impression that the bombs would fall at any moment. eventually we grew cynical, if compliant, for it was easier to keep one's head on straight when questioning leadership - while still obeying them. i knew the story about the radical resistor - the people in charge will chop of the head that rises up the highest, so it's easier to lay low and work in quiet.

once we realized that leadership's main goal was to turn us against each other with profit in mind, we snapped. it wasn't easy at first, because we still had our differences and found it hard to ignore them. a few of us realized that ignoring these flaws and defects of character isn't the right way to go - we must accept them and love each other for who we are, otherwise we're just as bad as leadership. that's what enabled us to break out, and then we found a jarring absence of bombs. or any real threat at all.

when i first stepped back out into those pine forests, my brush with peace was a foreign introduction. i remember there being an impenetrable quiet, threatened only by the songs of birds and the gentle rustling of pine needles far above our heads. or the distant cries of squirrels, or the dizzying stares of innocent does and fawns. i remember falling to my knees. i remember knowing peace.

Journal entries scrawled in black ink,
smeared by rainfall,
as only a fool would write outside

Only a fool would get glowstick gel
on his hands

I found a plastic fish that's meant to
go on my keychain; I lost
my keychain in the summer of '07

It's been too long since I've really been alone
and I'm tasting it again

It's salt on my fingertips
It's words I can't vocalize
Carnal
Primal
Dead

You took some time to yourself
And it's time for me to do the same

I'll never get to watch you drown
So there's no sense in sticking around

the moon said you're gorgeous
i said yes, i agree
she told you what i couldn't
this i hope you can see

We're more similar than we realize but
Infatuation only delivers disappointment

I've learned it's useless to follow the source
When I can sit here and hear the echoes
All the while

Why join the clergy when men and women
Of the Lord are preaching to me right in
My own home?

I need a miracle if I hope
To cross these miles, to
Beat the odds

To hear your voice over the
Speakers again

You said to me;
You don't deserve what's happening to you
And they don't deserve you

I'm praying that it's true
But you've never known me from
Less than a million miles away
So how can we be sure?

You took a white soul
and made it blue

Nobody seems to care and I begin to wonder
if it's because I pretend I was never hurt

I told him how easy he would be for me to
cut out of my life; he's dating my ex, the
one who cheated on me and tells me he was
right in doing so

I told him how easy it would be for me to
cut him out of my life because he does nothing
but whine about his feelings and tell
unfunny jokes

I gave her everything and she did nothing but
tell me I'm wrong, tell me the boy I'm with now is
trash and I was only able to bring up the mirror
and show her own hypocrisy

Never mind, none of you deserve me, so I'll embrace my
feelings now and go to that place I've been avoiding for
as long as I can remember

A place called comfort

We were spoiled rotten with
Music and soul and
Time runs through our fingers
Like sand in an hourglass

We judged the most beloved;
You stole my mind and
I stole it back

This is my apology

approval or disapproval
whispered yet louder
than an ocean in my ears

i realize i've shut my eyes
lips brush skin
pupils as the night sky
hands are lazy but
keen

silver hair
parted mouth
captivating

Blood on my hands and
I don't know who it belongs to
And it's not something I can
Easily return

Pull me from this arena

I can't stand to feel that sun anymore and
I can't help but tear myself apart for
Ruining their lives so many
Hours ago

Take me back in time
But I know this is not something
I can easily escape

the rumble of autos on our town's biggest thoroughfare
will never come close to the static roar that emanates
from those few centimeters between your ears

i can't hear your thoughts but their volume is deafening
and the evidence of their shouts shows in the strain in
your eyes

i've never really found washed-out irises beautiful before
but in their emptiness i see the fossils of a voice

when i was smaller i was very aware of how
a better, older me would look back
and look down
with malice and shame and see
what a pitiful creature. i. was.

at the time i was the sole object
of my own derision, a grim facsimile
of a human boy, and as i aged myself
in my mind i grew bigger and stronger
and meaner and more beautiful
and i. feared. him.

if i were to meet the boy i was four years
ago he would hate me, sweating under a
black balaclava, laces tied thrice to avoid
getting caught in the gears on his bike, helmet
on his belt, utterly ready. to. run.

i am glad i am not him anymore and
he. knows. it.

He was killed by a falling
beam of his own rotting ship

His crew had abandoned him
and he died blind and death
in an instant

Stricken by an old piece of wood

Whisper that song of kings long forgotten
And underdogs are the only true winners
But those who are immortalized in stone
Should always be dead

Pull me close for this coming storm
And I'll take your warmth and give you mine
Like any good friend should

I know I should tell you the truth
About what we've done but
Seeing our world broken like this
Would tear your heart apart and
Ruin these Baryon Skies we're under

Briefly caught in the crossfire,
Cut in half by speeding bottles,
Torn apart by the words of drunk monsters,
I've weathered a lot

Nothing will come close to this
Confusion, this terror wrecking my
Fragile bones, a heart that cannot
Comprehend the horrors you've wrought
And I know that you are just as fearful

You said it to my face and it took me
Months to catch on and now it's worse
Than ever - quickly made worse than it ever was

nothing quite like forty days of rain to give the mind some time to think
or a million years of blistering heat to boil us down to our bones,
so we may see who we are below the nonsense

below the buffers we've built, the feelings we've buried -

are we pure, deep down?
how will we know?
how will we find our inborn truths and
the quirks that make us who we are?

the skies are our saviors
and in their sheen we find eyes
watching our every shift and step
and in their star-spotted skin are
the memories of the ancestors we left behind

for when the light goes out and when
the heat leaves our bones we will
know this is the beginning of the end

He is not worth my time
He will not consume my life
He does not care about me
When I left him he began to rot
For he thrives on attention

He is worthless in my eyes
And to say this is selfish but
Selfish will save my life

He was bejeweled in my eyes and
He is nothing more than a stone in
A pond, rife with moss and void
Of gems, a faceless individual lost in a
Crowd of billions

He is not worth my time

Echo: a continuation,
A promise but to
No end
Claiming land on
Horizons untouched
Seeing sunlight
But feeling no warmth

Curse: a burden,
A price on your head
The promise that nothing
Ever changes and
Your revival means
Nothing if you always
Stay the same

God: a faith,
A deity in churches
Made sacrosanct through
Centuries of spilled blood
The only empire immune
To being conquered

I've got my eyes on the sunrise
Meet me at the gate
And tell me I'm your yesterday

There's a nail in your skull
And you're pulling it free,
I can see
But it's not my place to help

Instead, I'll read mysteries in the café
By the waterside and wish you the best
With your boy trouble in the Golden State
But I really wish you'd
Ask me for advice one of these days

We're the bezel-born,
Birthed on the outskirts
Of all that's known to
The world that chewed us up and
Spat us out

I know my place,
Little angel,
And the time;
It's on the little silver band
On my wrist and
All you have to do is ask

I'm either in love with the wild ones,
the ones who hide their fear with
humour;

Or the quiet ones, beautiful in a slow,
flowing way that catches the eye like dew
on a leaf in the early morning

I'm praying I'm lovely like you so maybe
one day I'll catch your gaze in that same way,
since too many times have I given up and walked away
when maybe, just one, it'll figure itself out

We've played a game;
Tracking words and
Dropping wineglasses on
The heads of dead men
From twelve storeys
Up

I can watch your brain
Scintillate for hours when
You think there's a veil
Hiding it all but I think
You want me to see,
Secretly

It was easier when instead
Of thoughts we only had
Glass and bishops to ****
But with time comes
Complications

I think you're lovely and it's easier to
Feel this way once I've come back
Down to Earth

we walk these streets
illuminating those we pass
seeing with our hands
and our ears

voices make faces and
i can't help but remember
how we forgot that actions
speak louder than words

naked and overconfident
we're a string of blind
lights, one bulb away
from going dark

promise you'll tell me who
burns out first

I got my hopes up again, friend;
I prayed to the wind and it went quiet

Left me in the dust again
and I don't know if I can
pick myself up this time

I don't know if I want to

I got my hopes up again, friend;
I prayed to the wind and it went quiet
Can I breathe once again, when on the ground I stand,
My vision turns blue, I need to forget you

I need to bury the past and kick it back
and hold it where it belongs
It'll eat me alive, friend;
Come and save me

You picked me up when I felt weak
and my voice was too soft to speak
but you read my eyes and told the truth
and on young souls I cut my tooth

Lift the past and burn it down
and throw the ashes to the wind,
so it can never find itself again
A chance for rebirth

But I don't know if I want to

When you cut me open
We both noticed something
A little odd

I know it made you want to
Run away but I swear,
I'm nothing bigger than you
No better than you
No higher
Than you

My blue blood is nothing
But memories of a lost
Time

This is a different kind of
Vitality and different
Doesn't mean bad

Take my word; the world
Looks no different through
My eyes

this is the worst time
folded into something better
and suddenly i'm the world
shaking from within
warmth climbing to the surface
boiling my oceans
waving to the stars
i blink to feel alone
and look up to be reminded
i am not

brought to the ground by you
by you, who is soaring
who is crashing
into black ocean waves
blind and in pain
i am here to comfort you
this is unfamiliar
i want to thank you
but i need to help you,
first

i set out to make a book of love and understanding
where we walk roads rife with wildflowers and
hike mountains with streams of meltwater

but here i find myself breathing in stormclouds
and i feel my lungs cloy with thick dust

clay and rust will replace the blood in my veins

atrophy of the mind

i want to be free of this, the constant fatigue,
the emotions overflowing as water from
a ***

i didn't mean to go this way when i saw the
fork in the road

I feel like now playing chess
Through hasty key commands
We're on equal standing

I love you and your voice and
Your music and I wish you'd
Embrace your talent and your
Skill with change

If I could cut through the miles I
Would, if I could find a way to
Help us both I would, if I could
Find a way to get you here I would

I'm building a garden and a haven and
I want to replicate the beauty I felt last
Spring, a year ago, pulling off that
Woodsy Bohemian Highway

We're so similar I'm scared to speak,
I was living a mistake, killing myself
By the fireside, and all the while I was
Petrified

I've found a light since then and I'm
Hoping we can speak again

You know these waters as well as I do
and I know that you live for the perfect shot

I know that you find safety in knowledge
and the shore is your only salvation

You know my youth; a bounding call
from roads I could never walk

A sea I could never conquer

Fancy wear.
Got guts like the rest of us,
perfect skin. If eyes are the windows
to the soul then yours must have
been gouged out ages ago

I feel I know when

Because bones remember
everything and you're not doing
much to hide it.