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3.8k · Mar 2015
Pharmacy
ej Mar 2015
There is hope beyond a papery pharmacy
that is stocked with ink and sheepskin

The clerk is finicky and silent, and elixirs evaporate
as you browse the papyrus shelves

There is hope beyond this paper pharmacy,
so abandon poisons crafted by pen-laden fingers
To me, they're just words
3.5k · Apr 2015
Mother Tongue
ej Apr 2015
Rock and roll on the radio;
forsake me

Mud between my toes and teeth on my tongue;
they hate me

Laugh with me,
leave them behind,
don't let me get away

It's our day, Friday,
forsake me and
never forget me

Mud between my toes and teeth on my tongue,
they hate me

Laugh for me and relish in that song,
I said,
"Are you gonna leave me behind?"

And you said,
"Only if you can't catch up."
2.1k · Nov 2015
I Need a Haircut
ej Nov 2015
Hey, wouldn't it be lovely
If we could set down our books
And sing to the sky
Like lunatics in the early dawn

I'm seventeen and I still can't talk
You forgot how to walk
And scraped your knee on the blacktop

I need a haircut;
Something simple that would leave it
Short on the sides and longer on the top
So I could style it back and realize my
Mirror-driven destiny

Hey, wouldn't it be great
If we could walk away and never look back
Like you knew how to walk
And I could still talk
1.6k · Aug 2017
gravity
ej Aug 2017
i was walking the other night
closed my eyes
saw you coming at me like a flashbulb
i saw you before i heard you
but you were so ******* loud

knocked me off my feet, you know
you did and you
broke my bones
bled my ears for every last reaction
until i had no more to give

i drifted awake the next morning
silent until noon
i couldn't trust my own voice to produce
its sounds or my ears to hear them
you had deafened me so
and blinded me so

my hands twitched to replace the cane
you'd never offered me so i could find
my way, alone and afraid
crawling back to you
stiff like a dead man
numb like a soldier
soft like a child

now, i sit still
mnkbrs
1.5k · Dec 2015
HIV
ej Dec 2015
***
Karma's a *****,
Martin Shkreli

A man can only
Run from fate for
So long before the
World drags you back
Down to face reality
With the rest of us

On the behalf of the
World's moral side,
I hope you burn in Hell
1.3k · Apr 2016
CROSSED FATES / LILITH
ej Apr 2016
I feel older and in control,
Or I should be

But instead I feel young and
Terrified

I don't know what I'm supposed
To be but I know that lingering on
Tear-wrecked faces isn't helping
Anyone here
boys
1.3k · Jul 2018
krill
ej Jul 2018
to split needs intertwined
and watch them unravel
within others
lit flames in shut eyes
mouths move and
make no sound but
lay bare the speech
of the heart

to be so honest
with you that i
am desperate to
create new secrets
but i cannot come up
with anything you
don't already
know
mars
1.2k · May 2015
Yosemite
ej May 2015
The illness catches branches low,
heralds beaten unseen woe.

It grows inside me, spark by spark,
a fire in my favorite park.

Jewels forgotten, rivers clean,
mark it by the ashy sheen.

It's gone again; it's worth your while,
stab yourself and spit up bile.

Your days are done and I will rise,
I am back to claim my prize.
A letter to a loved one
1.1k · Jul 2018
war
ej Jul 2018
war
i am
in this situation where
nothing i can say out
loud gets close to what
i mean and everything
you say without speaking
is what i want to hear
mars
1.0k · Jul 2017
i. nightfall (dusk)
ej Jul 2017
we're caught up in illusions of dignity
i'm terribly afraid you'll see that
my blood is red instead of blue
or when my voice cracks you'll hear
how scared i am of losing you

when your teeth break my skin and
you feel my blood on your lips
i want you to know for whom it
flows so hot

on many lonely summer nights i can
feel it fading, the death of zeal, the
slow and steady mental nightfall, and
often i forget the happiness that crests
with rising sun

i love the days when the sky burns hot and
i find myself lost in your smile, our friends
filling my ears with laughter, my own chest
sore from running

night waits for no one, boy,
but neither does the day
death of z. roll credits.
908 · Sep 2014
Red Lioness
ej Sep 2014
Hold my hand as the world falls apart and magma breaks through my toes, crimson waves of fire swirling round
It's quite the sight, my love
Tell them that when they put up my gravestone

The end of the world is a relief
Do you hear the fear that
drifts on the wind?
Neither do I

Let's go have fun, love,
dance upon the stone as it breaks apart
sing to the clouds as they flee to space
kiss each other goodbye as the waves climb higher
857 · Mar 2016
CYCLOPS
ej Mar 2016
You've got a one-track mind and
It doesn't feel right
Doesn't rub me right

Breathing in smoke,
Inhaling fear,
You're a cyclops

I can't remember if it was me
Who gouged out your eye
But either way I've got a debt to pay
And the time is now
839 · Nov 2015
Lollipop
ej Nov 2015
That's the one I was talking about
When he broke your heart and your only escape was the keyboard?
I was listening
I'm being the best brother I can
But we've all got hiccups
And the choppy waters never end

The best we can do is to wait for
Landfall and hold onto hope until the world swallows us
Again and makes us into something new
But I see an awakening for you
In these coming months
So please, don't let go
812 · May 2016
Hold On
ej May 2016
Spent my afternoon musing over
a yearbook with my friends,
laughing about how we all
hate the same people

Ignoring how this love will
fade once we've all moved away
since the summer is nearly upon us
and loneliness will take hold
768 · Oct 2016
Hurt Me
ej Oct 2016
I'm hurt incredibly
Indelibly
Permanent ink on my skin
your sins won't easily
be forgotten because you
injured me and I left
you because I knew
something was wrong and
twelve months later I'm
finally discovering what
exactly that was

You loved me but I know
you never loved him;
I know he bored beneath your skin
and made a home in the warmth
because he has none for himself

He told you to push me away and
though I couldn't hear his words
I saw the effect they had on you

I hate you for ******* him when I
was still loving you, taking advantage of
the distance to fulfill the wants of the body
while milking me for the needs of the heart

You hurt me and
I want to hurt you

You're too fragile for that
757 · Mar 2016
AFTERTHOUGHT
ej Mar 2016
You took some time to yourself
And it's time for me to do the same

I'll never get to watch you drown
So there's no sense in sticking around
I'm an afterthought
754 · Dec 2015
Fleeting
ej Dec 2015
We've done this before,
You and I

I mean, it wasn't
You and it never
Has been before but
The spirit never changes

When you look at me
I feel faint and
It's all I can do
To go to that spot where
We first met in hopes
Of finding you again

I don't know your name
Because our meeting was
Fleeting but maybe we
Could fix that, someday

Or not
740 · Sep 2015
9.25.15
ej Sep 2015
Journal entries scrawled in black ink,
smeared by rainfall,
as only a fool would write outside

Only a fool would get glowstick gel
on his hands

I found a plastic fish that's meant to
go on my keychain; I lost
my keychain in the summer of '07

It's been too long since I've really been alone
and I'm tasting it again

It's salt on my fingertips
It's words I can't vocalize
Carnal
Primal
Dead
737 · May 2017
hmm
ej May 2017
hmm
i'm in a good mood now
so my hopes of writing a poem
tonight are dashed
death of z. let's see if i put this in the zine or not
713 · Jan 2016
Lando
ej Jan 2016
You've got a lot of nerve,
Coming back here after
What you've done
709 · Dec 2015
Healers
ej Dec 2015
Cast in iron,
We are wardogs
Fighting to a
Bitter end

Justifying a heinous
Means, we cook good
Hearts until they are
Nothing more than
Smooth ash

Eyes and souls at war,
We are fit for short
Lives and expire
Quickly in our youth

Fate demands we serve
And meet our demise
At the hands of those
Whom we look up at

Not because they are
Higher than us but
Because they sit on
Lofty stools
705 · Nov 2015
Oxygen
ej Nov 2015
I'm so nervous, so tired
I want to walk with you on old leaves
And sing love songs to the quiet

I don't think we should stop this
You caught my eye when I first saw you
And I crave it now more than anything
678 · Nov 2015
Sometimes
ej Nov 2015
Sometimes
I'm fireproof

Sometimes
My kisses light up the sky
And I sing with the voice of a god
And my fingers stir up lightning
In the stormclouds above

Sometimes
I can silence the sun with a touch
And those solar roars sing to me
And me alone
673 · Dec 2015
Yeti
ej Dec 2015
This is me.

I've taken a myriad of names, yeah,
But I am who I am now and I was who
I was yesterday and tomorrow is a
Mystery we can all wait for

Patience buys the future
And fear is the unknown.

I know how hard it can be to get the two
Confused sometimes but it's okay;
We all do it.

Trapped by this gravity,
Beaten by the wind,
I am well-worn and strong.

Emerging from this heat wave,
I am raw, and when I
Escape the deep freeze, I am
Like a yeti

My height is insurmountable and
My skin is tougher than the Earth's
Mantle magmata;
My eyes are white to reflect every color
Known to man and I will
Live an die unknown in the gale
Like I was always destined to

This is an awakening.

I am a beast of the dark and
He who haunts the study in the
Hours forsaken by God;
I am the name seldom spoke;
I am the fear which dwells deep
Within the wicked

Behold me and my creation and
While leaning back, remember that
This is barely the beginning
661 · Jul 2016
My Taste In Music
ej Jul 2016
I'll keep these words inside,
prompted by the fear that
you'll see not me but rather
the trees at my back, and
the forest will greet you, and
that my arrogance will come to
light and I'll get nothing
I was hoping for

I can't tell you what I feel because
we're not that close

I can't tell you what I fear but
maybe my taste in music can do
the talking instead
657 · Jul 2016
Iodine
ej Jul 2016
Give me darkness so I
may

Become light
640 · Jun 2017
out of it
ej Jun 2017
i found myself wandering
82nd avenue this evening
halsey singing to my brain
i think i was listening

the way the sun kissed the
horizon was on my mind

god let me seize this moment
catch it in my fingers
breathe it in and sing it out
because i'm out of it
death of z
630 · May 2015
Sandwich
ej May 2015
Boots on my feet, heels on cold obsidian.
This is my land now. My proclamation;
every stone to the east and every wave to the west.
Evacuate.
Eyes on the sun, gun in hand: this is no place for dishonor.

Eyes on the prize.
No tomorrow.

Say, you see when the rooster rises and crows?
Take a hint.
601 · Nov 2014
Radiance
ej Nov 2014
Radiating energy as you do
Would you lend some to me
I don't have a coin to spare
and you're practically glowing

Lend a thought to the low and
gain a spot higher, I know the lure
Who am I kidding?
I'm a fool to love, as are you

Spend some gold on a life and you'll realize the
pointless futility,
the hapless mortality that plagues
those immune to life

Open your eyes, my love,
see the sun with your soul

Radiating energy as you do
Would you lend some to my friend?
She doesn't have a coin to spare
and you're at a lively flicker

It wears you down, my love,
don't you see?
I'm burning bright and she is a dying light
and to fuel that fire
she must give some away

I'm burning, ****** to high heaven, and
I rise like hot air

But for you, my love--
There's still a chance!
And to flip a coin, to coax that dance,
your path to hell would quickly advance

Choose a road, my love, as our
time grows short, and my hidden plague
takes my blood and gifts me poison.

Should this vitriol spill from my lips?
Kiss it away, and steal my coins,
radiating energy as you do.
593 · Dec 2015
Draftbook
ej Dec 2015
It's where I keep my
Unfinished masterpieces
My polished imperfections
My broken promises

My draftbook is littered
With work and unwork
Like a handyman's abandoned
Toolshed

Forgive me when the books
Flow slowly; it's all I
Can do to stay standing
577 · Jun 2015
Copper
ej Jun 2015
Blades and cogs and coins alight on my carpet,
the one which I purchased from the courtyard vendor:
his name is Copper, for the wire

An orange beard stain'd by rusting iron, white
by nature for his age - eyes sharp and gray,
like black smoke from the pyre

My home is back behind a long-forgotten throne,
atop chipped flagstones carved from the riverbed,
the one which we call Hyena; the first name is long lost

Hunting dogs from towns far and wide gone wild in the heat,
children kept high on shoulders  - we rather the sun than
the dogs' sparkling teeth

Twisted aspens and birch among the rains, turning
green like veins of jade beneath our feet -
axes shattered from our forefathers, unusable on stone,
our only defense is our teeth and bone

Skies span blue and brown in season,
sands stirred up in far the east,
I blame the winds here and again:
dust killed my mother back there and then
land of the forgotten
575 · Apr 2016
No Good
ej Apr 2016
Slaves to pain,
We're all addicts to
That which compels us to
Destroy ourselves

I can't lay the blame on
Anyone but myself since
It's me who gave in

Inaction is a form of action
And holding back has more
Power than I ever imagined
570 · May 2017
out of nowhere
ej May 2017
my blood cells are
volts of electricity
supercharged
each time the sun comes out

my eyes are too sensitive
for anything brighter than
a mile-deep cave

i regret not getting those fancy
sunglass lens when i last
refreshed my prescription

everything is too much right now
and i really want to take a nap
565 · Mar 2015
Pink Boxers
ej Mar 2015
Oh, carry-on bags and Aeropostale apostrophes,
mere fabric catastrophes

It's a half-waltz dance to a song with few words,
all of which are in garbled Italian

It's a murmured What the ****? and a
high laugh

Tripping over your own feet has never been
so elegant
New York inspired
561 · Jul 2018
prison
ej Jul 2018
you find a way
each day
to squeeze between the
cracks in my armor

and i become so warm
i melt the steel
so once we're done
i need to buy a new suit

you show me new sounds
i've never heard before
and i swear you sat down
and invented a hundred colors

i've used them to paint my walls
so your touch is inescapable
your voice never fades
and my world never stops
growing
558 · Sep 2014
Starside
ej Sep 2014
There's a cordial whisper that begins to scream when it gets too cold outside
There are bubblegum kisses that burn with proximity
Fires crackle and stars flicker and the universe doesn't get any darker
We like to change and we don't admit it
But crystal melodies reveal as much as a veil cast aside
Written for my friend.
543 · Mar 2015
Tinny Audio Fuck-Ups
ej Mar 2015
I kicked the radio - I admit

Hey, remember when you crashed the truck and
lost your phone while trying to replace a tire?

I remember when you stole the sun and used it to
warm butter for your popcorn

The radio's just a tinny audio ****-up, blasting bad rock
on bad speakers

That wasn't an insult.

-- It was my own **** fault

Clawing eyes out, drawing blood, kicking shins in,
busting skulls on hardwood floors

Just a tinny audio ****-up

Broken radios, trucks, bones, hollering calamities

It's a repeating pattern, I screamed. The clouds listened and they began to cry for me - I was all dried out

Summer sun will do that to you.
Musical relapse
540 · Nov 2015
Pray
ej Nov 2015
Hunter blood
Drowning in mud
Screaming to God
There's nothing I can do
Now
To escape this fate
I've chosen for myself

Pull me back
And take me home
Lay me by the hearth
So I can pray
To that which is killing me
As I sink here
Losing breath

Too weak to cry
Too deep to become the animal
I see at the edge of the clearing
Too feral to make
Sense of what I'm feeling
538 · Jan 2016
Overdue
ej Jan 2016
I feel sick inside when
I'm all of myself at once and
The beats fall out of touch and
My rhythm fades to dust

I think you're lovely but
Neither of us are good with groups
And it's during times like these that
I wish I could just up and flee
537 · Feb 2015
Bulb
ej Feb 2015
A person is a bulb
and when they are broken
words spill out
535 · Mar 2017
Starvation Headaches
ej Mar 2017
I watch the hours slide by
waiting for the flames to die
and I reflect on the meaning of
potential

I am a moth and you're a light
and restraint is my mind's only fight
because these feelings for you are
torrential
532 · Jan 2016
Skipping Lines
ej Jan 2016
You're the one with a fist
Around my heartstrings
And I don't see the benefit
In projecting your crimes

I hear you around the corner
And I want you to show
Yourself so we can
Be good again

There's no such thing as freedom
When you're being chased, love
523 · Nov 2015
Buona Sera
ej Nov 2015
The stars are shining and the
Voice of Louis Prima is leaking
Through my earbuds and for now,
I've gotta take some time to myself;
This is my peaceful time,
Buona Sera
Kiss me goodnight
516 · Apr 2015
Seek and You Shall Find
ej Apr 2015
Take from the poor and give to
the poorer

Drink scorched gold on ashy
bread

Bronze in your fist and silver
in your tooth

You're surely ******,
highwayman

--

Running to hills and sighting clouds like kids again,
Chasing memories that don't want you around

Resurrecting demons like foul-mouthed holy men,
Bones stir deep in your blood-soaked mounds

Hey, man, why do you bother?
Hey, man, why do you care?

Tell yourself again: It's not worth it,
Look down deep and you will find
the twisted nature of the highwayman

Running to the hills and sighting clouds like kids again,
Chasing memories that don't want you around

Resurrecting demons like foul-mouthed holy men,
Bones stir deep in your blood-soaked mounds

Tell yourself again: it's so worth it
Look up high and you will find
the blessed nature of the holy man

(Take from the poor and give to
the poorer
Drink scorched gold on ashy
bread
Bronze in your fist and silver
in your tooth
You're surely ******,
highwayman
You're surely ******,
holy man)
music
486 · Mar 2015
untitled
ej Mar 2015
please go and
sing those songs you
used to sing to put me to sleep

there are echoes and they
aren't satisfying anymore
482 · Sep 2015
Pinocchio
ej Sep 2015
Is this all I'm good for?

Rewind.

Newly charred, you look like a
match lit twice

Oft cheated, I see the darkness in
your eyes

Pull those strings, boy
Look me in the eyes, boy,
It only gets worse from here

Never bothered to count the years
between you and your lover,
he left you broken on the roadside

No better than a puppet, you lay
seeking salvation

No fairer than the day, you lay
losing breath

Is this all you're good for?
481 · Sep 2014
Rebound
ej Sep 2014
Grab the fireball and let it burn
your palms to the bone,
scorching it black as
the dark face of the moon

It lights up in your eyes and
you know you've won the fight
before it's even begun, and you
begin to whisper the funeral rites

The winds roars around you,
blinding ears and striking feet,
and your shoulders catch flame
in the ever-growing heat

What a fury, what a light
you've ******* won that fight,
you've won that right
to boast about your victories

The heroes will bow down soon,
speaking their sin and hailing their kin,
and you'll be the spark in the fire

Cast in stone, they won't call you a liar
A story for heroes, I guess. This poem is for whoever chances upon it.
480 · Mar 2015
I Am Not Your Enemy
ej Mar 2015
"I am not your enemy,"
whispered words and blood
drips from bleeding lips

"You can trust me,"
hoarse voices carrying on
sour winter breezes

"I'm the god now,"
and strength returns once more
to one who deserved to die
For a book.
464 · Mar 2015
knives
ej Mar 2015
there are knives and
daggers in my skull that spin about
with great fury and fervor

when will the bone give way?
463 · Jan 2015
What's Worthy
ej Jan 2015
Take my heart and take my soul and
takes my hands and take my role

in this world.
What's worthy?

Your voice,
what's holy?

Your feet.

Tread hallowed ground and
desecrate it with the blood
of new gods,
newly forsaken,
newly undertaken.

Drop the shovel and surrender

Your voice is legal tender
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