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ej Nov 2017
the sun was bright that day
leaving freckles in my skin
burning brown grains of sand
stepping a little too far inland
losing sight of the sea
looking for the snake's oolong tea

theft ain't bad if you're taking
from the thief
got nothing to lose, friend,
just like you
you know how it is

oh, hello
i'd never steal from you
just wanted to look around
admire the place
you've got a pretty good setup here
no, i'm not a kiss-***, i'm being for real

scraping my knees on the rocks near
the shoreline, digging sand into my skin
the reddening streaks on my legs
remind me of the sunset
pain is nothing, i tell myself
kneeling and praying to god
for mercy upon mine soul

but this doesn't get old
face flushed with relief
my pockets full of the snake's
very aromatic oolong tea
ej Sep 2017
i remember the first day out of the installation better than most. we'd been locked up there for weeks, then months, under the impression that the bombs would fall at any moment. eventually we grew cynical, if compliant, for it was easier to keep one's head on straight when questioning leadership - while still obeying them. i knew the story about the radical resistor - the people in charge will chop of the head that rises up the highest, so it's easier to lay low and work in quiet.

once we realized that leadership's main goal was to turn us against each other with profit in mind, we snapped. it wasn't easy at first, because we still had our differences and found it hard to ignore them. a few of us realized that ignoring these flaws and defects of character isn't the right way to go - we must accept them and love each other for who we are, otherwise we're just as bad as leadership. that's what enabled us to break out, and then we found a jarring absence of bombs. or any real threat at all.

when i first stepped back out into those pine forests, my brush with peace was a foreign introduction. i remember there being an impenetrable quiet, threatened only by the songs of birds and the gentle rustling of pine needles far above our heads. or the distant cries of squirrels, or the dizzying stares of innocent does and fawns. i remember falling to my knees. i remember knowing peace.
bleach
ej Sep 2017
flash back to just last month
i'm sitting on your bed
you're right there but
i feel so alone
the television's playing music
and i only want quiet

you can say so much with your eyes
i tricked myself into thinking we
didn't need words but now i know
we can't keep a conversation with
anything but our hands

conquering distant lands

with you i am intoxicated and
when i miss you i miss nothing but
your voice

at no other topic does my mind
backtrack like this, correcting itself,
forcing lessons i put off for so long

that when i am chided for having boundaries
it isn't me at fault

that when i am pushed to my limits
i shouldn't be jumping off

that when i hit the waves
i shouldn't try to breathe water
bleach
ej Sep 2017
there's a certain magic to looking
where the sun set just hours ago
pinning down a mountain on my map
driving there
standing atop the mountain
staring at the stars
and the city lights beyond

buffeted by high winds
cold breezes and
crisp gusts of air
skin kissed by the silvery
light of the moon

it's a journey i want
to make alone
bleach
ej Sep 2017
the moon said you're gorgeous
i said yes, i agree
she told you what i couldn't
this i hope you can see
zine: backspace
ej Aug 2017
i am glowing now
my eyes are dark like
fresh-tilled soil
my skin is soft like
the leaves of jungle trees
my voice is clear like
ancient spring water

i know what it means to
be new, now
to wake and feel it in your
bones, to
rise and feel like singing
bleach
ej Aug 2017
for three days i was your muse,
for three months i was the apple of your eye
and as long as the snow fell
you were on my mind

why do i still want to make you proud?
what did you see in me?
what did i see in you?
this is my mystery
because now you are lost to me

so long gone i still seek approval,
still sing your songs,
still defined by our legacy,
i've found i can't escape that of which i'm cast
we were never meant to last

rain-dappled asphalt and bones
bleached by midwinter sunlight,
the silent way in which snow met snow
the deafening way in which your breath
used to meet my skin

i need to let go
i need to
make you proud
bleach
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