I'll keep these words inside,
prompted by the fear that
you'll see not me but rather
the trees at my back, and
the forest will greet you, and
that my arrogance will come to
light and I'll get nothing
I was hoping for

I can't tell you what I feel because
we're not that close

I can't tell you what I fear but
maybe my taste in music can do
the talking instead

I don't know
if I want to know
what words you've held
inside for me, or
if I want to know if there's
anything there for me
at all

Often it feels as if the past
is a desperate, dying dog, its
teeth stuck on the hems of my
jeans, beady eyes intent on
dragging me back to darker times

This feral beast will scrounge up
my hope with a wag of the tail,
drawing me closer so it can bury its
diseased claws within me, taking blood

I want nothing more than to put a
bullet in its ragged face, but that power
is not innate

You took a white soul
and made it blue

I set myself up as a
piece of art and God
took my soul as commission

He's fixing himself,
said I'm difficult

Who am I to judge
a boy whose true colors
I've never seen?

They say stay where you
belong, to me, and to all of
them I say I'll do what I want

But it might be best, I think,
to keep to myself when all
my help just hurts instead

I can't fall anymore
so all that's left to do
is try some more