my dear
i am at a loss
around you.
it seems that
you make the poles
switch.
turning my life
upside down.
i never thought
that seeing your face
would send me for
a race,
and ending up
with a hand
over my heart.
my dear,
i am at a
complete loss.

|m.s.

i can see the discomfort
within their eyes
and in their body posture.
hands wringing around
news reports
about a girl
who killed herself
last thursday.
they both have
a hard time looking
at the camera
and i've come to realize
dying doesn't make you a hero.
dying doesn't make you anything.
dying, means your dead.
your body has become
the baggage claim of the earth
after your flight of life.
and your soul
everything you thought
aspired to be, hoped for
and cried for.
is nothing.
we can only be ourselves
to the fullest extent
because each human mind is rare.
about to go exitinct
in say---eighty years?
dying doesn't make us anything.
---in some minds,
dying is just the release
into nothing.
and i guess that was what
she was after.
nothing.
because there is no pain
in the darkness.
there's just an absence of light.

|m.s.

the echoes of silent sorrow
reverberate forever in solitude.
i'm trying to find your face in the dark,
but like everyone else,
i'm succumbing.
i'm getting lost.
moving feels like i'm stuck,
having to fight everything
and above all else myself.
you're such a far off goal
one i'll never reach,
but you light the path
and the world around me
if not for a few moments.

a few moments
isn't ideal to strive for
but it's all i'll ever have with you,
so i go the distance
and wear myself out trying
and in the end,
at least i tried.
and trying is the distant sister of success
so i continue to try to see your face in the dark,
and a few moments
where you light up the backdrops
going stealthily by me.
today--you said good morning
and after last night,
it meant the world to me.

|m.s.

your name still
lights the spark
to the roaring fire
that i'm trying
to extinguish.

|m.s.

the weight
of the universe
set itself
upon me
last night.
on my best
crushed my
heart
and I was
suffocated
by the words
you gave me
from the
mouth I've
longed to kiss.
|m.s.