i still want you
to call me
that nickname
you made for me.
and bound over
like you
discovered
the world.
i don't want
fleeting glances
and silence
but it's probably
best for me.

|m.s.

your name still
lights the spark
to the roaring fire
that i'm trying
to extinguish.

|m.s.

in several circumstances
i've wanted to put down
how i feel about you
but i'd always come up short
in small utterances,

in the moments near 2 a.m.
and my tears
i find myself empty
there's no poetry left for you here.

|m.s.

when your words met me
i didn't want to breathe
and when i failed to hold still
cradling the broken pieces
of myself and my high opinion of you
i collapsed within myself
my heart finally
becoming a
exploding star.

|m.s.

i cling
to positivity
so why do i
continue to cling
to the idea of you?
i'm only prolonging
my misery
and part of me thought
a short week ago
that summer would **** me
because i wouldn't see you
but now i pray for summer to come
so i can be on my way
with a mind steering clear of you.
my dear,
you don't really
understand
the words you spoke
gave my heart back to me.
and i shook
and tried to keep the
pieces together
and when i failed
to even hold still
i fled from you.
i guess girls
cry in bathroom stalls
alone after all.

|m.s.

you know
at one point
i had
changed
my travel routes,
created detours
to my classes
to see you.
and that meant
risking being late.
but even now
i still continue
to travel on my
created detours.
it hurts me to see you
but i still walk past you.
eyes cast downward,
and hooded eyes.

|m.s.