you know as children
we were taught how to ask
basic questions
like: who, what, where, why, when, and how.
and it's come to my attention
that these questions aren't the easiest
nor are they completely possible to answer.
when the question that arises
is who?
i know how to answer that one.
because who is you.
when the question that arises
is what?
i know how to answer that one too.
because what is love?
i think what i want to say is
that i like you.
as for where
i have to go back to september
thinking of the first day.
we were in a classroom setting
you sat to my right.
my right side faced you,
your front faced me.
i always had to look
semi over my shoulder
to look at you
and to be honest
that was quite often.
i enjoyed the time we spent together
and i mourned when the time
became too short
and the class ended.
the next trimester
we no longer had classes together
but i got to spend a lot of time
with you in january.
and as time continues passing
i continue to fall more
and i get to dig a deeper grave
at every frown
and at every smile,
at every swat
and every hug.
and i guess that's not too much of a problem
being in love with someone,
it only hurts a little bit.
where it started,
was english.
when the question that arises is why?
i'm taken aback at the question
because why is such a hard
question for me to answer.
i don't exactly know why
i fell for you,
why i like you.
but very easily i fell for you
in a matter of weeks, months,
in a matter of one trimester.
i knew at the end
that i had fallen.
i guess i took to stumbling very early on,
and eventually i fell completely.
there are certain wonders to the world
that can never be explained,
and i consider falling in love
one of those certain wonders.
because there is no explanation
to why it happens that way.
despite the scientific fact
of items falling at the same speed
no matter what it be.
it's not happening that way
i may be falling
or have already fallen
but you still seem far away
from perching on that stoop to fall,
so i count in the surface area
around your heart
affecting your fall
you're still floating backwards
from the last time you fell
and you crashed and burned.
i understand.
but when i fell for you
there is no math equation
scientific fact
that explains
exactly why
a person falls.
i can pin point
when.
when was the beginning of this year
back in september.
i can pin point
where.
in english.
you sat beside me
i can pin point
what.
loving you.
i can pin point
who.
you.
but i come back
to why and how
and i am unable to explain
myself to anybody who asks.
i just know, without a doubt
that i do.
those questions aren't the easiest
nor are they always completely possible to answer
so when the subject is you,
why and how
aren't possible to answer.
it's just knowing.

|m.s.

and if love isn't the reason
for staying out in the rain.
and if love isn't the treason
for running after that train.
then i don't think you know
what love truly is.
until suddenly in a short while
you find yourself staying up
until the early hours awake
thinking about someone
counting all the makeshift stars
on your ceiling ,
trying to remember life
without that person,
and trying to forget the hole
in your heart
without that person.

|m.s.

in the middle of my eighth grade year
by unfortunates there was the new girl.
her name was simple.
simple could be the word to describe her.
however simple meaning anything but plain.
she was thin, tall
a wisp of a girl
with short blond hair,
and bright blue eyes.
she was kind.
the popular ate her up right away,
changed her,
put her through trials versus herself
made her into one of their own
a shell of a former simple girl
where simple used to be the word to describe her,
however simple meaning anything but plain.
with a former simple name
who still is thin, and tall
a wisp of a girl
who was kind
who still has short blond hair
but empty blue eyes.

|m.s.

i've wasted the effort
of trying to be your friend.
i'm over you,
i know that sounds lame
but you've grown like rust on my heart
no longer making it work,
i'm over you.
so i'll grind myself back down
to hellos and how are yous
i'll be kind of a friend,
but no one you would want to talk to
all the time,
like we almost did.

|m.s.

you're the person i look for in crowds,
you're the person i want to see in the morning
the person i want to see in the afternoon.
and that doesn't always happen
i don't always see you
and sometimes you're mean
and it breaks my heart
i've told you once i've given up on you.
but i seem to go back,
foolish, i realise but you draw me back in.
i have my days
where i'm nothing but my body
working through the regular motions.
and you tell me to cheer up
usually some form of contact
a hug, or a shoulder tap
and i tell you no.
no i won't cheer up.
because you're usually
the one who's put me down
in the first place
then you cheer me up,
and i don't think you realize that at all.
that you're the sources for both
my happiness and my depression.
by the next day i'm happy again
and the next day we're distant again.
and i continue to go through the motions of mood
where you make me happy
but our lack of contact puts me back
or your kindness has gone
and telling me to cheer up.

|m.s.