bitterness
consumes my soul
when i see your prideful face
it's as if you have no flaws
no imperfections
no issues.
you are so ******* perfect
it wreaks havoc on my entire soul
to know that ****,
she liked you more than she liked me
and i loved her
and i am indeed over her.
but it's the fact that you
you just set me off.
it isn't fair
for me to be so bitter.
but it's how life works.

when they asked me today
if i liked him
i said
of course i like him
and i wasn't too far off the mark there.
"but you're so mean to him"
that's not my intention
they have only seen moments
where the action of "mean"
i use as endearment.
they haven't seen
how i look at him
or how i actually treat him.
despite sword fights
and constantly bickering
he's my soft spot.

it's wednesday again
my world making another cycle
i'm sore
i'm tired
and i have a headache
i'm pretty sure
new bruises
are forming.
yes, because you you.
but i don't mind.
this isn't a
"i'm in a abusive relationship" poem
this is a poem about
how sword fighting with you
and strength tests
have gotten me closer to you
not only physically but as friends
and i've gotten stronger.

so what will happen
when the truth
reveals itself?
when, i finally had
all the courage
to tell
you.
whenever
that happens
the response you
end up giving me...
i am afraid,
i am completely petrified.

this morning i couldn't look at you
i'm not sure why
the reason being that
maybe
i was ashamed
or shy
easily either.
and i don't know why

vanilla
taste so sweet.
yet so little.

vanilla
taste so sweet.
not to much now.

vanilla
taste so sweet
beautiful with it's simplicity.

the acid is bubbling
thick sludge running through my veins
a feeling has resulted in the pit of my stomach,
you.

you
are the cause for this burning sensation.
it is not fire, it is not passion,
it is acid.
and you scorch me with your words and actions
you are not my prince of fire,
no you aren't even close.
stay away from me.
stay away from him.
stay away from others.
you are poison.
envious
angry
and dangerous.