i tread on spikes
whenever you're near.
the memories of you and me
i don't care to remember.
if i were honest
i would tell you:
my memories of
us
makes me cringe.
to put it out of my mind
i imagine the memory of you in a box
and then light it up.
i imagine shooting you to outer space
never to be seen again.
but they come back.
i'm treading on spikes.
stop
plaguing me.
please.
i'm sorry.

i would learn german
to tell you two things
one would be
ich glaube an dich
i believe in you
the other:
ich liebe dich
i love you.

be yourself
is what they say
and what if i don't want to
what if i don't even like myself
if i said that
i know you would grow quiet
so i don't
i just reply
"i try."
and don't get me wrong
i do try
but i'm also
quick to give up
because being liked
is what i want
and i'm afraid that it
will change
so i conform to you
that's most comfortable.

be myself
i try.

i can...
what can i do?
there is little amount of doubt
in everything
but that doubt can be encasing
bringing more than one down with it
the doubt we have is natural
an instinct if you will,
that helps us survive.
but that encasing on some people
can paralyze them.
doubt can be eliminated
because people do make mistakes
just learn from them
i wish i could follow
my own advice.

and today i'll fight you again
even with my already
bruised ankle and
bruised wrist
from yesterday.
today i will pick up
our swords
and tell you to teach me
if you refuse i'll persist
you'll tell me you're not
a good teacher
or a good fighter
my dear that's a lie
so try please
at least try
i want to learn
try for me

love
isn't a new concept
it is as old as rage
and sadness
so why do people
treat me like i don't know
i know i'm young
but let me love

maybe
we could
leave
hand-in-hand
walk to the edge
of the universe
maybe
we would become
stars
locked in the night sky
you'd always be brighter
by the way.