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Akemi Nov 2016
are you lonely?
a blur through the skylight
black prism
noise
i dream of particles
empty waterways
myself
where has everyone gone?
shoes line the shore
a galloping howl splits the earth
and we rise like mist towards dead suns
are you here?
there is a surface you slip beneath every night
sometimes you catch glimpses of it when you stare into the emptiness beneath your lids
it is where you go to watch yourself die
who are you?*
sisyphus turned inwards
the first body of god
crushed beneath the weight of the ocean
Akemi Oct 2016
The shade plays figures across my skin. A slow ripple of old casts, thrown off last winter festival. It’s an old game. Children gather at the riverside and watch their broken bones depart. It was like this the year before, and the year before then. It will always be like this.

Sometimes summer arrives early and I cry for days. My tears run into the wooden floor of the house. It follows the cracks and seams, soaks into red dirt, coal dust, mud. I was once here. Salt trails along aged timber, the dead corpse of forest gods.

I left early in the morning, before the dew had left the roofs. I followed an old bike trail. I listened to the silent clamour of pre-dawn. It was like a stream, the black edges of an open wound. Blood had yet to reach out, touch existence and harden.

The casts sink to the bottom of the river. The children scream and laugh, leaping through the air waving cattails. The shade shifts and I find myself awake, thirsty and without direction. I have forgotten my own name, a place without season, the sight of blossoms.

I am alone, waiting for someone. I am walking beneath thick wires humming with power. I am holding a hand, sitting atop a bus shelter, watching harbour lights diffuse the water’s surface golden.

There are two black figures now. They reach towards one another but cannot touch. To touch is to lose form. I lie staring into the absence of myself, watching petals fall on my skin. Clouds break.

It was sudden. A bright clap of electricity, before a downpour. We ran down the street, jumped through your open window and rolled onto our backs. The air was humid from the day, and without thinking I kicked the shutter down. We laughed and laughed, until our voices found themselves still, close and warm. Your cheeks flushed, breath caught on the ceiling. I kissed your neck as you unbuttoned your shirt, following the openings your fingers left.

There were days I wandered, a black whirr, a sprawl without end. My fingers would reach out until they lost feeling, and then, definition. I wish I’d been there when your body failed you. I wish I’d gathered your broken bones and dashed them against the river, but I know now, they were the only thing keeping you whole.

Some children run after their casts. They descend the mountain into a wild darkness and trawl the river bottom for their memories. They are the poorer ones. They are the ones worth knowing.

It is dark. The figures have blurred into one.
everyone has gone
where have they all gone?
will we ever find out?

sequel to: hellopoetry.com/poem/1554623/the-end-came-a-long-time-ago/
Akemi Oct 2016
a spilling vessel rots through the earth
tar black and cavernous.

this is the maw through which god watches overs
all his little dead children.

‘hello, god.’
god replies with an incomprehensible scream.

the young ones play break, break
it is a game where they test whether a face or a fist
disintegrates first.

it is so fun; so fun, fun, fun
everywhere the maw descends.
everyone hold hands and say 'death is everywhere.'
don't you want to be everywhere, too?
'death is great! death is great!'
the maw is god's love. it gave us our teeth, to break ourselves apart.
'break, break! break, break! break, break!'
we're all dead inside.
'BREAK, BREAK! BREAK, BREAK! BREAK, BREAK!'
pavement turning, rising skylines. it's all teeth, everywhere, growing, breaking, falling.
the world is a giant maw and we live in it. tiny autumn maws.
scraping the top of the sky, tongues of concrete, god's palate. a hollow core, greedy tongues.
oil from the belly of the earth. ribs collapsing. we sold the earth's lungs for a fiscal bonus. steve really deserved that new honda. he'd been working so hard filling his flesh with old paper tales of dead people. they choke on the fumes of garbage and diesel, in the orange district. water so filled with heavy metals the children are brittle with funny eyes and breathing problems. what are you going to do now steve? eat a big steak.
Akemi Oct 2016
sifting through black rubble
i find pieces of myself
old chokes with
fractured bodies
and little burnt fingers.

the sky is a holy grey box
downpour
spiral fragments
but mostly crying children.

when will i die?
wisconsin two penny sue weathertop tock tock

slow bombs fall on syrian children. they lift their hands in time to see their flesh fall, torn from bone, pieces of skull, shrapnel, chemical rot. support the troops, support the troops, support the--

eagle flies over itself, why do we exist

feet through the door, forgot my pen, ** i am so forgetful and original, let us share a coffee and socialise, yes i do like canadian indie music, bjork is my favourite

empty signifier slipping through the gaps in speech THERE IS NO PURPOSE THERE IS NO PURPOSE THERE IS NO PURPOSE THERE IS NO PURPOSE

i keep falling through the earth, my feet, my ******* feet

where is the core? mother's grave circling itself. ouroboros looped through time, folded space

pi pi pills; swollen liver, kidneys, brain, it's a painful way to die, most are. your friends are awful

i can't ******* write poetry. these objects of cathexis are simply old memories of distance reified into absence. all presence collapses into the memory of absence. this is what i have been trying to say for weeks.

ANNIHILATION IS EVERYWHERE. I CAN'T GET IT OUT.

i am so clever, choking god. i am so clever. nobody is here
Akemi Oct 2016
wreathed in dead skin
this body is whole
severed from where i departed
eternally homeless
i am alone

this flesh is bone
light fractured
i woke choking god
a crown of teeth
until my hands lost definition

i was never here
abyssal hands
reach into
the empty signifier
me.
Akemi Oct 2016
Holy rot. I cover the street.
Breaking, breaking.
Loose glass, filling with blood.
Teeth on the pavement.
Teeth in the sky.
I’m sick of these smiles.
Blood flowing laughter.
The body turned inward.
Crossing a river.
What connects me to you?
The hunger. The horror.
The wretched maw of time.
laughing through the pavement glass breaks and the ocean rises bones teeth hair stupid smiling faces thursday night the earth is flooding but the children run fingers through empty palms cans runoff spoiled dirt faces pressed into the earth like bottle caps dead birds wrapped in ******* and oil drinking black bourbon death puking why ******* why wrists pills exhaust fumes rope around the neck no wonder life wastes through itself in this post-ironic age
Akemi Sep 2016
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My greatest desire is to slip out of this world completely unfelt.
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