You only saw dead flowers


                                                where I saw a field wishes.

Before the day demands it -

And the world tries to steal it -

And for my children I honor it -

        ….I give it to myself first.

It was
A beautiful unfolding,
The way his
Words
Unwove
All the intricate knots
That held together
The pieces of
My tender heart.

Lost in spaces
Between
Smiling faces
And hungry hands...
Deep blue eyes
And ocean sands.
I found him
On the shoreline,
This magic man.

His smile
Crinkled at corners
Where kisses
Ached to be placed,
Burning joy
Into my skin,
Breathing life
Into my brokenness.

And..

Before it came,
Had to let it go.
Set fire to dreams
Where love could grow.

Left me standing
In a September breeze
Surrounded
By swaying trees.
With a yellow heart,
And a small pink scar,
And dreams
Left unseen.

How many times
Did we say hello
And then goodbye;
Did we crash
And burn
And then collide?

Our hearts
Danced in rhythm
Like petals
Off that pine tree breeze.
Taste your lips,
Feel your touch-
Replay you
On repeat
In fading memories.

Tomorrow is coming
But already gone.
I can't be there
To whisper a song..
And as you lay
Dreaming soft dreams,
Praying for relief,
Without me-
I'll replay you
On repeat
In fading memories.

I will
Ink my flesh.
Swim until
I'm out of breath.

Run
Until I collapse.
Drink until
I can laugh.

Pray
On bended knee.
Sing until
My lungs bleed.

Kiss the lips
Of men at a bar.
Give myself away
At the expense of my heart.

Just so
I forget...
To remember...
You left.

I was sunshine
And he was fire.

We collided-
Now burned memories
On our sticky skin.
Singed fingertips
And bruised lips.
I'll take it all
Just to feel the heat
Of him
Again.

He sings me poems
And paints landscapes
On my alabaster flesh,
Tells me
Write a ******* story
That I'd want
My kids to live.

He can't love me
Like I love him.
But for one night
Let's me borrow
The love I give.
I take it back.
Cherish this ****.
I'm once in a lifetime,
That
I'll never find.

So he sings me poems
And paints with his
Mouth
On my skin.
And i steal my love
Back from him,
So I know what it's like
To feel fire
On my skin
And not be dying
Over and over and over
Again.
Because

I'll never be loved like i love.

In a world
Where feeling
Is weak

I set fire
To myself
Just to remember
I can bleed.

I never thought I'd be someone
With half
An empty bed.
We were merely children,
Babies,
When we first met.

I thought... I thought...
You were built within this space.
Night after night,
Your warm body
Would lay.

And i would get irritated,
Angry even.
About the divvy you'd make.
Lying for hours
On a lazy Sunday.

And now...
It's empty.
No body to make a crease.
And here I am-
Someone
With half
An empty bed.

Navy eyes
And curly lashes
I stared into
For lost
Aimless hours.
The stubbled-sharp
Lines
Of your square jaw,
I placed my kisses
All along.
The tan shoulders
I ran
My fingers across,
Leaving prints
Of hope
In our love dust.
Your fingers,
Wrapped
Around mine...
Eyes closed,
And you snored
Cuddled from behind,
Curled.
My big spoon.
This ache
Laid upon
My breast bone.
Right where
You laid
And I kissed your forehead.

And now..
You're a picture
I scroll by,
Smiling into a lens.
And that face,
Those memories,
Haunt me,
Wide awake,
So I'll never forget.