Spring in California
feels like the dream;
meadows high with sunshine
brushing hips

Oxalic sour grass on your lips
sweet sweet berry

Painted clouds, straight
from your breath

It is falling in love
only,
if you see it

We sat fireside
in the circle of my first hope
and I was sixteen
and it was the only light I had seen
since I came out of the womb

One by one
the poetry spilled from their mouths
as tears did from my eyes
and the cold froze them to my cheeks
the foreshadow of a winter I did not yet know

I used to be an eloquent girl
but when my time came
all I could say was
“I am here because I need to know
that there is still good left in the world”
That is all that I could get out before the tears became too much

That was a few hours
four years ago
Since then
I have seen an entire ocean
played hooky with wine and thunder storms
and lived as an entirely different woman

but tonight I need to be sixteen again
I need to see that goodness again

I have been living in poetry for months
and she holds me in her love
and her hope keeps my eyes open

but I have no life here
everything dies here

and you said we are not meant to live like this
we are stuck in what has been decided for us
and neither of us
can find the stars
to lead us out

You speak like I have answers
I am only lost in the light
It all seems brighter there

You were the first one
who brought me flowers
Held my hand,
told me you loved me
No matter what
All this,
when I was nothing,
and I believed you
and we believed in each other

And you are as far away
as this country can reach,
but I feel you in this drink
and in every acorn I see
In this place you would hate
and these people you would not understand
Neither do I

I’ll always have tenderness for you
but I do not know how to love you
from here

I was sitting at a traffic light
and I saw this huge rosemary bush
in bloom
and the lilac poked through
whatever tender golden blossom
lie next to it

and it made me think of you
and your sweetness

All these soft people are hurricanes
Have you ever seen a storm from space?