Tonight you called me sad
I picked up the phone
worried you were as broken as I was
but quickly your words filled my heat
I never knew it was empty until it was opened by the sweetest hello
I could hear you were tired
So I strung it out
"You can go to sleep, love"
It has never been an effortless task to cut a connection with you
But it's like building myself up every day after nights I fell to pieces in my bedsheets
It is by no measure easy,
but I need it to move on
Let's keep moving forward
It's still hard
to press "end"
I never want to end you
I still gonna hang on every word you say
so I can hear them ringing in my head
like the ring on my phone
I sometimes imagine it's you
because call me
I wanna listen and be there every second I get the chance to hear your thoughts
what a beautiful mind that can see past
the rubble of city streets and 450 miles
I'm starting to see the pines above me kissed by the ocean waves below you
Still, call me
so I can drift far away
I know it's just your voice but
I recognize the warmth of your tone
It's the same as your warm breath was
on a night so cold it could have frozen any heart
but there will always be love in winter winds
that's what carries my whispered words to you
I hope you hear them as lullabies tonight.

The thought of you away
is driving me insane
Weeks without you
my heart burns like a furnace
like December 14th near a wood stove
catching glances, biting lips
sneak out the door

Up against pine, my hands in your hair
don’t ever leave
don’t ever take your perfect hands off me
the kind of passion that starts wars
heat, from your breath slipping out like smoke
and the air is so cold but you are
searing a brand on my lips that says “stay”
I am lost in your energy and I won’t find my way out
until my heart finds a way in
It's trying to burn its way out of my chest
to be closer to you.

I started purging your name to the rocks
and the river
the current answered, “I’ll love you forever”
That echo rang in the caves of my heart.
Filled them up and my heart is gay with
“I love you“‘s forever.

I missed you today,
I missed you yesterday.
I’ll miss you until our hearts open with morning glories
in soft sheets above ground.
High above the sights of reality where our voices can turn to robin songs
and your hands intertwined in mine are the sugar pine roots.

I don’t need to be saved.
I can save myself,
I do it every day.
It is essential that I leave
The wanderlust is fogging up my eyes
and I’m starting to see the cloud that hangs around this town
It’s not the town, I love these mountains
It’s what four walls can hold when hearts escape
Occasional hikes aren’t working
I can’t be motivated by weekend parties
I demand nothing less than wildness
Simplicity, and my home back
I hope you never feel the heartache of losing your home
It was ripped away too soon, when I finally found where I belong
I was taken back to pristine houses that can’t hold dust
When I used to have a cabin that wore its dirt like a diamond necklace
Home will always be you.
Where ice was a friend whose crunches carried under my boots walking to breakfast
When there was nothing better than mashed potatoes we stuffed in tortillas and called tacos
My heart aches to hear bird songs again.
I would give every penny I have to live like that.

They’re trying to shove tinsel under my skin cause they said I don’t shine.
They clasped open my eyes with peppermint-flavored coffee and strung my hair with cranberries.
They forced glitter down my throat, because they thought my insides were ugly. Then they wrapped ‘em in a box and tied it with a red bow.
I’m sorry you don’t approve of a heart filled with humus and flowers.
I’m not asking you to pack up your Christmas spirit, I’m asking you to listen.
Christmas doesn’t mean anything to me.
Winter means something to me. The perfect destruction of a windstorm and a cold that pierces your skin.
Put praises of frozen earth on my lips. I want to create my chapel in the rain and worship the stillness of December.

She was the cloud above me that could have been vapor or smoke.
She was sitting right next to me with her heart wide open
and I could see straight down to the person
waiting
for someone to take her away
into the woods of pine and oak.

She was under my skin,
because I let her into the past three years.
I think we knew what this looked like
We never intended two hearts to meld together
by a ***** hand,
but honesty is messy
and that's why it hurts
The way it hurts means it has weight
That is so frightening.

This will never work.
I want it to work so badly.