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Once she went around the bend

On a road she did not know
Now as she looks back she sees
Crimes of passion she did not mean to commit
Earning the lie of life she must now except

Once she went around a corner

Opening a door that should have stayed locked
No one to tell her she was wrong
Coincidentally, everyone left
Everyone left when she went around the bend

Once she tried to come back

On that road that she had not known
Needing the ones she had left behind
Crying out against the sins she thought
Entirely necessary at the time

Once this girl came back

Fighting the person she had become
Opening her heart again because
Really it was all her fault
Giving such hate when all she needed was love
I knew this girl and I now say
Veering from the path most traveled is never safe
Earning back trust is the game we play.
In one breath I take in
what my body has not yet decided
to accept.
It is not air. It is life.
I need it just as I need air.
The breath of the world
so tangible on my tongue.

I need it.

But breathing does not help.
I can not absorb it,
as others can.
I have to feel it. Touch it.
But there is nothing to touch.

Why?

What's wrong? They ask.
Why are you so sad today?
I did not find my life today.
I could not breathe it in
and my touch slid off of its surface
like the air I do not need
over my cold, dead skin.
 Oct 2013 Missblackraven
Fletcher
I found you.
Among the dust and water that makes up each one of us, I found you in all of your uniquity.
For a lifetime I loved you without knowing it.
And then I met you,
knowing immediately it was you I had loved all along.
Eventually life, pride, ambition took me away from you
to worlds where people sit strangely, eat strangely,
even walk strangely and sleep strangely.
But strangely enough, we were all the same.
And we laughed at this realization.
I took you with me.
We walked along the Bosphorus drinking pomegranate juice,
listening to the drums and strings and rhythmic Ottoman voices that caused our souls to ache.
We tasted sand, brought in on the wind from that barren desert rich in so little but greed.
We visited cities in jungles, where local fare made us thankful for our many hours spent cooking, and perfecting the flavors that help define us.
I took you with me, my love.
You helped me don my suits and tie my ties and kissed me as I held you close before another day's harangue.
But in your mind, you were never there.
And you made me see:
A world separated us. And so I moved it.
 Oct 2013 Missblackraven
Caroline
Slowly recovering
Slowly gaining back,
everything that I had lost to this disease.
Happiness,
Friends,
Laughter,
Me.

I may not be at my thinnest
or my craziest
but now I'm at my best.
I want to recover.
I want to rest.

I'm tired of counting
and constantly watching.
I want to be free,
I want to be me

...whoever that may be...

*-c.a.
 Oct 2013 Missblackraven
Caroline
I'm so tired that my soul aches for sleep
I walk straight but with weak knees
I'm surprised I made it this far
Traveling with sleepy eyes and cold feet
I'll reach my destination a little later than the rest
When I get there my heart will be put to the test
When I return there'll be no one left to meet me

I'm so tired that my soul prays for sleep.

*-c.a.
You fill me
With your love
You fill me

With your caring
You fill me
With your thoughts

You fill me
With your sharing
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