I don't think I've ever witnessed horror to this extent
Body parts are flying like shooting stars and it looks like people are wishing on them
Relaxing with family members watching the bombs rain down
as screams perforate the sky like the rip of paper

My dreams of a beautiful future have been ruined, not beautifully, not like some artefact I will later go photograph
This is horror
This is hope, hope in the leaders of the world, hope in the humanity of humanity,
destroyed
I will never look at myself the same
Or my friends
or my family
As we sit back watching human beings having their skin peeled off of them
There's nothing we can do
No petition will strike the hearts of the US Senate
Our ancestors made a mistake giving them so much power

Forcing people to change their loyalties in front of the world
As a child I read 1984 and laughed at what Orwell thought the world would become
I have since realised that reality is worse

This is not a downward spiral
No one has become nauseous enough to realise what is going on
This is a voluntary jump, a suicide mission we have set out for ourselves without knowing it

There are people in Palestine who have nowhere to run
I don't even know what that feels like
To have nowhere to go for shelter

To look death in the face and scream
or sigh

I've never seen anything more worthy of God's grace than the way your tears cling to your lashes when you cry with your eyes closed like you're having a bad dream.
You think, and most do, that the ugliest face is the one filled with emotion, when your face goes red and soft-spoken words become yells in the ocean waves, and spittle flies out your mouth like the salt water of the sea.
I love your passion. I love your screams and tears and the way  your veins throb in your forehead and throat when you get worked up, when you feel indignant and injustice.
Most will say to you,
"Hush little girl, keep your legs closed, keep your mouth closed,
Keeps your mind closed.
Don't ever be more than what we expect and definitely not more than what we want,
Little Girl, keep your mouth closed tight and coloured pink, and your cheeks held round with a wide smile ,coloured blushing-bride red, and your eyes wide-innocent and ignorant too."
I'm telling you little girl, you're a big woman now, and you never look more beautiful than in a fit of emotion and passion, when instead of makeup clouding your face I see your spirit being bared with the cleansing wash of your tears.
When instead of hearing your small talk about shoes I hear your soul flying out of your mouth, bright wings billowing beyond the length of your body, flapping too loud to ignore  
Your voice may be small, but so are these words, yet both can change the world.

Star- bred stallions
We are made of star stuff and it's fading away dear humanity
Look at yourselves.
See the waste you are pouring back and forth from your bodies to the sea
Regurgitate
It is not boring to be alive
To see our reflections in a puddle on a rainy day, walking to school
Our lives are strings criss-crossing and attached to others oh so delicately, tangled in hard knots that sway in the wind
We are made of moonlight and sprinkles of sea-water
We are Gods with shining eyes that refuse to look down from the sun
Open your mouths and say what you mean
And mean what you say
Don't forget to look at the forests crying at how wonderful it is to be alive
It is not boring to be alive
We don't know why we're here but not everything needs a reason
The most beautiful things have no cause at all
We are the dead, our past lives have fertilised the soil that grew the plants our mothers ate
We are the lives before us
It doesn't end but it's always different
Look up
Smile

Do you know the difference between loneliness and being alone?
Because whether I'm alone or not I still feel like I'm in the sea, no lifeboats around me, just my blood rushing, beating in my ears and sharks swimming beneath me
They want to eat me
And I'm scared
Because at this rate I don't think I'll ever leave this watery grave.
I can't speak to people anymore
I don't remember how
No one cares about me anymore
And I feel worse because I don't think anyone ever did, or that anyone cares about anybody, and I just never realised it till now.
I'm very sad.

Sometimes I see my world burn, fire licking at the borders of my countries, threatening to taste the people I love, threatening to grip me and drag me down
I can't tell if the world burns or if my glasses are painted with flames
I'm too confused
My mind runs too quickly like water out a tap, thoughts disappearing into the pipes before I can grab them
I'm not sure if I'm altogether sane, altogether ******* on straight
I see red spots in the sea water but no sharks have been reported
I picture the earth like a burnt wedding cake covered nicely with beautiful frosting
We are the little bride and groom figurines at the top, unaware our world has been charred
People jump off buildings everyday, not knowing why they're doing that
It's a lump in your stomach you aren't sure is real
It's disassociation
Refusal to understand
We are Obsequious to our own insubordination
We are pretending

This world is getting a bit too much for me
there are only so many times i can cry over my laptop keyboard
then worry my tears will damage it

I am so sad
I don't deserve to be sad
I sat watching a soccer match while people were massacred last night

There are elephants crying after being freed from 50 years of torturous captivity
Elephants only live for 70 years

Why was I born into this
not everyone was meant to live here
not everyone is hard enough

I am a good person, I know this
I can help people
but I will **** myself in the process
am I a coward or brave?
Do I want to be either?

My best friend is leaving me and I have cried every night while listening to Coldplay since she told me

There is a chance I am autistic, obvious enough to someone who has met me once, while my mother never picked this up
my whole life has been spent thinking I am slow, stupid, socially inept
she could have picked this up

she could have raised me whole

I am too wind, salt water not from the sea
Wild intense uncontained
A lover says to me' we could never date, I would always be second best to your fantasies"
He expects this to bruise but I hold this to my heart like the sweetest compliment
I have always wanted to be too much for someone
My mother says her premature grey hair is because of me, I look down thoughtfully but I rejoice inside
She did not want fire from her womb
A tan porcelain doll with long hair to comb filled her dreams during pregnancy
Did her heart burn and my violent kicks not give me away?
I am not broken, I am not a fledgling thrown from the nest
I have not given up on myself
I will not be fixed, held taunt by ropes I do not hold myself
I am special
Clouds that cover the sun
I will move so much water
Drink the seas
Scale the sky
Just watch
Watch me fly