This world is getting a bit too much for me
there are only so many times i can cry over my laptop keyboard
then worry my tears will damage it

I am so sad
I don't deserve to be sad
I sat watching a soccer match while people were massacred last night

There are elephants crying after being freed from 50 years of torturous captivity
Elephants only live for 70 years

Why was I born into this
not everyone was meant to live here
not everyone is hard enough

I am a good person, I know this
I can help people
but I will **** myself in the process
am I a coward or brave?
Do I want to be either?

My best friend is leaving me and I have cried every night while listening to Coldplay since she told me

There is a chance I am autistic, obvious enough to someone who has met me once, while my mother never picked this up
my whole life has been spent thinking I am slow, stupid, socially inept
she could have picked this up

she could have raised me whole