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111 · Oct 2021
the trinket box
misha Oct 2021
under my bed
a collection of things
snippets of ribbon
and tangles of string

old scuffed buttons
teddy bear eyes
shriveled up flowers
left to die

a bird skull i cleaned
with my hands in the sink
old perfume bottles
so shiny and pink

a lost love letter
not addressed to me
shards of glass
spit up by the sea

a lock of my hair
from before it turned dark
a cicada shell
i found in the park

i can't bring myself
to throw them away
even though it's junk
like you always say

i know how it feels
being unwanted and worn
i want nothing to feel
so forgotten and forlorn.
109 · Aug 2020
A Crow Looked At Me
misha Aug 2020
A crow looked at me
in his eyes I could see
all the wonders of the galaxy.

Reflections of stars,
the earth's weeping scars,
unraveling minds and their memoirs.

Under sacred moonlight,
held in black claws of night,
our deepest desires are clutched tight.

O Crow! What spirit do you hold?
With whose voice do you scold?
Does it still slumber in your pile of gold?

The Old Ones knew you,
and now I will too,
when I die and rise on black wings anew.
you really can see the intelligence in their eyes.
107 · Aug 2021
reckless
misha Aug 2021
i'm reckless with knives

i've got scarred, ****** knuckles,
but i'm still alive.

i'm reckless with knives

there are bits of me in the soup,
but i'm still alive.

i'm reckless with knives

i keep this one on my nightstand
it was made in nineteen forty five

but (somehow, unfortunately)
i'm still alive.
106 · Jul 2020
glow on.
misha Jul 2020
let the memory of me
fade
into the night

forget my voice
forget my touch
heal your scars

you don't need me
anymore.
misha Aug 2020
kisses
soft
as handmade lace
sweet
as sun-warmed honey

forever staining my soul
red
with the bitter aftertaste of kalina
why...
104 · Sep 2020
photosynthesis
misha Sep 2020
I wish I could survive
on sunlight alone,
carrying liquid joy
deep into my home.
A crystal of warmth
to dry up my tears,
cooking my brain,
denature my fears.
102 · Aug 2021
the reason
misha Aug 2021
you
are the reason
my voice shakes when i sing

you
are the reason
i only feel safe in corners

you
are the reason
i talk like a baby doll

you
are the reason
i can walk without making a sound

you
are the reason
i guard my neck while i sleep

you
are the reason
there are teeth in my stomach;
gnawing and gnashing for the next terrible thing to happen.

i can't go a day without thinking of it.

you
make me sick.
100 · Sep 2020
vila
misha Sep 2020
the faerie led me
to the blossoming marsh
while I slept
under moonlight's trance

again to the place
where the crickets hum
and the grass is damp
under my bare feet

where the reed grasses grow
to cover your body
and the sparrows lap up your blood
and take it to the sky

it will fall as rain
soaking my hair
sating my roots
under which you lay dreaming
100 · Nov 2020
existences
misha Nov 2020
have you ever had a dream
so good
that you felt light crashing through the sky
thought you'd wake up when you died
but you didn't?

you can dissolve into chemicals
so sweet
that the devil's face is in your eyes
and your hands are pinned by your side
but you aren't afraid?

you can caress that nightmare
be brave
and wake up feeling like a ray of light
be proud that you survived the night
to fall in love again?
... what a strange word.
88 · Apr 2020
Omen
misha Apr 2020
Your skin
paper thin
peels away
when I touch
like a brush
there is sludge
pooled underneath
the residue
of thinking through
the theories
of deities
and karma
arising
from leaving me
alone in peace
to slowly rot
eyes turned inwards
collapsing
egg
rosebud
samsara
beats
like a drum
the unending thrum
of human hearts
and the earth
resonating
repeating
growing restless.
Wanted to try writing something a little more experimental than my usual.
86 · Mar 2020
Trauma
misha Mar 2020
Nature follows Witches' laws
you get what you give
three times over.

Leaping from shadow to shadow
on malformed legs
with an inhuman gait,
you leave us to feast on the scraps from your table
with an appetizer of rat poison.

One day shimmering hands will drag you under the sea
and you will understand why we have canine teeth.
We are predators. We are built to feast.
Stalking and pouncing with cat's paws
incapacitating with snake's fangs
crushing through bone with dog's jaws.

Can you feel it?
Can you feel the curse?
Can you feel the abomination you created?
Here is where god abandons you,
takes one look at the beast and leaves you to fight it alone.
All the holy light in the world
could not expunge this terror
like all the prayer in the world
fails to protect the vulnerable from cruelty.

Over
and over
and over.
85 · Jul 2020
krasnaya
misha Jul 2020
you may pick
the wild berries
but be mindful
of the thorns.

wolves live here
and they love
the smell of blood
after dark.

there is not much difference
between lips stained red
with berries
or with blood.

dip them in sugar
in the old wooden bowl
and feast
on summer's warmth

there is not much difference
between the girl in red
and her dark, dark eyes
and the wild wolf.
85 · Mar 2020
Scavenger
misha Mar 2020
Every time you look at me
I feel a little less real.
No matter how I try
I cannot stop you from
dismantling me, pulling me apart
piece by delicate piece.

I prayed to the old gods
and they promised me that when I die,
I will be born again as a raven
so I can scavenge the pieces back,
because it only takes a day to harm
but it takes multiple lifetimes to heal.
Be kind to others. You never know how your words and actions can impact them.
84 · Apr 2020
Reign
misha Apr 2020
To get at the marrow,
crack open the bones.
The screams of the conquered
"We want to go home."
Flying like birds
let out of the cage
right into monstrous
black jaws of rage.
Insatiable hunger
for an insatiable mind
maybe next time
they will be more kind.
Not to provoke
the slumbering beast,
not to awaken
the unholy feast.
Baby, don't mess with forces you don't understand.
84 · Feb 2020
Hiding Place
misha Feb 2020
Little lost kitten curled up in her cocoon,
with a halo of the moon,
a halo of the moon.

Liar, liar with the calico fur,
but hear how I purr,
hear how I purr.

I want a lover to keep me warm,
keep me safe from the storm,
safe from my storm.

Curled up in the closet, talking on the phone
I want to go home.
I don't have a home.

Damaged little kitten with the tiniest mew
Am I safe with you?
Am I safe with you?
kinda grossed out by the fact that people perceive me as an entity that exists, not gonna lie
84 · Feb 2020
Reincarnate
misha Feb 2020
I am one with
the lovely velvet darkness
that covers my light
from those who wish to ***** it out.

And I am one with the moon,
who sends me sweet messages
when a voice
would have me caught.

And I am one with the violets,
picked by a lonely girl
arranged into a bouquet
and then thrown away.

We were too scared to stay.
84 · Jan 2020
Transcendent
misha Jan 2020
There is a place in my mind
where there are ropes made of vine
hanging down from the moon,

supporting a swing,
covered in flowers that sing,
I'd love to go back there soon.

His lover, so fair,
who makes her home there,
has wings that shimmer with light.

While he is asleep,
in dreams so deep,
she runs to me every night.

Transcend with me.
Make yourself believe,
and maybe you will visit me too,

in my grand delusions
the sweetest illusions
will finally make themselves true.
some are on a higher plane of existence than the rest.
82 · Jul 2020
scylla
misha Jul 2020
i bent down
to look at a pink sea shell
and the ocean devoured me whole
with a roar,
and a snap
of crushing blue jaws.
but i only stayed a moment.
she spit me out
because i tasted
like bitter bile
and melancholy
and said
come again some day
when you're happy;
come again some day
to die.
nothing more depressing than being in a happy place when you're sad.
81 · Jul 2020
Solarium
misha Jul 2020
these flowers
were not grown with love
I fed them with blood
and now they hang from the ceiling,
glistening red with dew.

the glass is scuffed.
there was a bear here, last night.
she tried to break in
but I shot her,
and she unraveled

into millions of pieces
of colourful silk.
someone created this beast.
someone gave her a name.
and I ended her life.
80 · Sep 2020
shimmer trick
misha Sep 2020
what happens to thoughts unsaid,
buried deep within god's head
do they feel their restraints grow tight
do they wish they could take flight?

what happens to books unwritten,
songs not sung and poems hidden
do they die a horrible death
with their maker's final breath?

what happens to people unseen
sneaking under midnight's sheen
while they run on soft fox paws
do they sense the waiting jaws?

what happens to the paper trees
when they catch a fiery breeze?
do they know this is the end?
do they know they can't try again?
78 · Nov 2020
torpor
misha Nov 2020
between these
fluffy ears
there is infinite dream space

so come
take a rest
nestled in the grass

under a snowy blanket.
come,
take it slow

leave your worries
to the birds,
and close your eyes.

when the blood
dries from your claws,
you won't even realize that

I can't hear myself breathe
I can't hear my own pulse
all I hear is


.
fun fact: Misha is a name that is commonly given to bears.
78 · Jun 2020
June
misha Jun 2020
The rain battered branches
thrash and shudder
in the dim light of one window.

One person,
still awake,
deep into the stormy night.

Listening to
the howling coyotes-
they were not here last year.

They howl for the desert winds
that they miss so much,
but only the thunder responds.

A low, resonant growl.
I am tired too.
77 · Jul 2020
repression
misha Jul 2020
bite down,
hold on
to this swirling world
with all your might

once you find your home
never let it out of sight.

in an instant,
god's golden hands
can ***** out
that feeble light.

once you find yourself,
never let them out of sight.
76 · Feb 2020
Spirals
misha Feb 2020
I love how
the hot water cascades over me
burning my skin,
reddening my old scars.
I want to hurt again.

I love how
my tears spiral down the drain
and spiral into the sea.
Oh, will the sirens pity me
as much as I do?

I love how
I can walk between worlds
as an entity, scrolling through time,
turning eternities into seconds.
I have the eyes of god.

Until I am curled up like a baby,
lying on the hard tile
and shivering in the falling cold.
Only rage illuminates
my empty soul.

I love how
I can wander endlessly
and end up in the same pathetic place,
the same alluring fantasy
of making you suffer forever.
I love spending hours dissociating in the shower. What even is existing ahaha

— The End —