a singing voice
that sounds
like ******
in my stomach
how much
did you take?
enough to heal
the angel wings
they took from me
they can carry me
i'm small
i'm still a child
i reply in a lilting voice
my head falling back
pink ribbons
on a lace pillow
i see halos
i'm home

i'm toxic
i hurt everyone i love
maybe i deserve to be alone

like a rabbit
i'm light on my feet
must be the lucky
clover i eat
i was born in
a wolf's mouth
i felt his fangs
but i didn't cry out
i know to be quiet,
i know how to hide
they can't get me
when i'm inside
i know how to listen
i know how to wait
i can hear when their voices
are tainted by hate
but most of all
i know how to run
my big white ears
catching the sun

pillow den
plush pink
cancel plans
stay in to think
blood on the walls
trash on the floor
i don't care
close the door

angel-sweet
docile
like a puppy
in a pink collar
i don't bark any more
i don't even flinch
i let it happen
i must like it,
don't i?

i write sad poems
but the truth is,
sadness is nothing like poetry
and mental illness is nothing like the movies
there is no beauty to be found here
no elegance in self destruction
no metaphor in depression
no art in this love
and they all leave once they see that
they can't heal me, nothing can
and there is nothing pretty
about the things i do
so don't look back
go somewhere else
be happy.

i'm brave,
i say
i'm brave, i'm brave
but no amount of words
can hide the rotting wound inside me
no amount of aggression
can hide that they pulled out my teeth