It is now that I realized
how terrible of a friend you were.

You never brought me up.
You kept putting me down.

When you did make me feel better,
you would find a way to rip me apart.
Break me down.

You broke me to tiny pieces.
Similar to a glass cracking
and cracking
and cracking
until it's reached its limits.
Then it shatters.
Into one trillion pieces you can never glue together.

It has taken months
for me to realize.
You were no friend
only a dark glimpse of what I never will be.

You care only about yourself
and your boyfriend.
Not about others.
Not even about me,
your best friend.
You left me broken
torn apart
shredded
gone.

You ****** the life right out of me
and now I've been set free.
I've been enlightened.
I've been given a new day.
A new life.
A new light.
I've been given freedom again.

You will never harm me.
Why?
Because when you break me,
I come back 100 times stronger
baby.

Everyday is a nightmare
and every night is hell.

I've seen the happiness
slowly fade
from my face.

And I'm not sure how to be happy.

I long for winter.
For sweaters
and cozy blankets.
I long to be wrapped up in a blanket every morning
immersed in heat.
I long to cuddle up with a teddy bear
and watch movies
all night long.
I long to feel the crisp cold air sting my skin.
I long to see the earth, naked and bare.
I long to see the icicles form and the snow drop.
I long for hot cocoa
and hazelnuts.
I long for winter.

After all the pain
one heals.
One becomes free
from their inner demons.
One sees the greatest things in life
aren't always the biggest.
One understands
to get through the toughest of days,
one must heal.

I'm not sure
if we'll ever speak again.
Once, you were my best friend.

Now you're a stranger.
And it hurts.
More than you will ever know.

Your lips
so soft
pressed against mine
for what seemed ages.
Our lip-lock was special.
It was so natural
even
with
our
tongues.
I miss your smile.
I miss our goodnight kisses.
I miss the way you looked at me.
I miss you.
I miss my first kiss.

You see straight through my lies.
That's why you're my best friend.
And I love you.