Darling let me ask you, have you ever been lost in life? Have you ever questioned your whole existence? You don’t know what you’re doing, and you just go with the flow, most of the time? It has always been like this for me, four years to be exact.

I don’t know what I want to do and what I really want to be. They always say I’m still young and that I’ll figure it out, but time is always running and if I can’t keep up with it, I don’t know where I’ll go anymore. I don’t want to keep running for the rest of my life, unsure of all the unfamiliar places. Where do I belong? Am I not capable of certain things?

It’s the way my heart feels calm with the sound of the rain and the way my eyes light up when I’ve seen something like pink skies. It’s the same thing when I look at you, with my eyes wide open and my heart beating fast. I look at you with silent wonderment and I would ask myself “what did I do to deserve you?” You fill me up with admiration and just like the rain and the sky combined, you will always have a very special place deep down in my heart.

He looked at her with his almond eyes filled with curiosity and asked, “what keeps you up at night?” She looked at the moon, patiently waiting in the sky, and said “my insomnia.” It’s almost as if the moon was also waiting for her answer.

Our screaming demons,
they like to visit us at night.

Their voice becomes our company,
their smiles — wicked,
and the shadows that we see.
Every night they keep us up,
quiet, as they may be.

They live in our deepest thoughts
as we try to chase them away.
In the end, we’re surrounded
for they crawl and they hide,
and the deeper they go
they are hardly possible to find.

Oh, our screaming demons,
they like to visit us at night
and if they never sleep,
so neither do we.

These past few days I’ve been waking up to the same dream, the same sweat-soaked bed sheets, the same sun greeting my morning eyes through the sheer curtain of sadness.

“I’ve been here before,” I said as I was having a long walk on the beach, my eyes adored the sunset and the picturesque mountains. The sea; our favorite place. We loved as each wave came, rushing to greet us, one by one like racing horses. “I’ve heard this before,” this beautiful melody. A chuckle, a laugh that sounded more like a lullaby. You sang to me every night when I couldn’t sleep.

“I’ve felt this before,” this longing, this heartache when I felt the world crashing on our feet, that first serious fight. I gripped your shirt tight when I felt the universe pulling us apart, but you didn’t hold back, you have let me slip away from you.

I’ve been waking up from this familiar memory, from this place we called happily; but the familiar face was gone and this unfamiliar feeling is slowly eating me up each day as I try to remember. I’ve been visiting the places, and the forgotten days like a déjà vu but this time, I am not with you.

Your arms are the best place for me and just like a hackneyed phrase, it feels like home. What a beautiful place, wrapped up inside your arms and holding the warmth of your hands. It’s the kind of warmth I feel with a coffee in the morning, my hands wrapped around the mug, and a hot shower at night.

Your scent, a pleasant, musk smell that fills up my lungs, I like to think it smells like my favorite flower, and I love smelling it from your body and from your sweater covered around mine. I want to wear it sometimes so that I can feel you near me, and oh baby, comfort smells like you.

Your eyes, a deep dark brown like almonds, is like an ocean mixed with familiarity and suffocation. I love it when they’re staring at me just as how much I wonder what dreams you see when they’re closed. Let me suffocate in those eyes, let me drown in them, I think they are the soundest place to get lost.

You are my safe haven, there is no place like you. Do you want me to be your safe haven too?