And I begin to wonder
When the rain will start to end
And my mind will become normal
And God's back will start to bend

When the sun will fall to Earth
And the ground will crack again
When my lover says hello
And my tender heart will rend

I will start to cry again
Eyes as streams of vitriol
And in myself I'll find a friend
Answering my heart's own call

There's a bridge beneath my feet
And there's smoke in my twin lungs
I'm scared this wood is burning
Searing through these fragile strings

I've been searching an escape
That which I cannot find
Buried so deep in this dirt
I'd be better off alive

So please, I plead of myself:
Save me

I can't fall anymore
so all that's left to do
is try some more

He's fixing himself,
said I'm difficult

Who am I to judge
a boy whose true colors
I've never seen?

They say stay where you
belong, to me, and to all of
them I say I'll do what I want

But it might be best, I think,
to keep to myself when all
my help just hurts instead

I set myself up as a
piece of art and God
took my soul as commission

You took a white soul
and made it blue

Often it feels as if the past
is a desperate, dying dog, its
teeth stuck on the hems of my
jeans, beady eyes intent on
dragging me back to darker times

This feral beast will scrounge up
my hope with a wag of the tail,
drawing me closer so it can bury its
diseased claws within me, taking blood

I want nothing more than to put a
bullet in its ragged face, but that power
is not innate

To deny pain is to deny growth;
to shy away from opportunity is
a waste of life

Accept the fear and blossom,
embrace the struggle and become
something greater

For once, I'm warm in bed and
tired not because I'm a terrible
suitor to friendship but because
I walked two miles and gave up
halfway through

It wasn't a bad kind of giving up,
I just realized walking alone in
80-degree weather probably isn't
great for my physical health

I feel so good being myself;
I feel so comfortable without a crush
and I've got good music in my ears and
a good friend at my shoulder, and
all I need to be happy is all
I've got with me right now

Give me darkness so I
may

Become light

There's no summer
without running into
lovers under the sun

Under the hot hot air,
you're beautiful beyond
simple conversation so
I'm sorry, but all I can
offer is a nod