Once upon a time
I took the heart out of my chest.
I put it in a wooden box
Where it would lay to rest.
I buried down in the earth,
as far as I could dig.
X didn't even mark the spot
so I could always keep it hid.
It wasn't really strangers
who I didn't want to find.
I was more worried about myself
and the pictures in my mind.

I have been walking in this world
for a million years it seems.
Not filled with blood, or love, or trust,
or a heart that used to beat.
I spend most of my time crying,
tsunami waves of tears.
I gladly walk into the ocean,
because I have nothing to fear.
And even as the years passed,
and I searched for my chest,
I couldn't remember where I'd placed it,
finally laying it to rest.

It can be quite frustrating,
if I think I may come to love.
But I quietly remind myself
of all the things you'd done.
I wish to have my heart back,
before I'd known your name.
But instead it's good and buried,
and it's better off that way.

I have never seen someone so broken
until I looked in the mirror tonight.
After spending an hour driving
a hundred miles per hour in my car.
Up and down the free ways,
crying so hard, I couldn't even see.
I hate the way you make me,
storming out of the house,
calling me every name in the book.
Grabbing your keys,
car scraping across the pavement as you drive off.
Are you crazy??
You could have killed someone,
or gotten killed yourself.
I could have been killed..

I wanted to be

I spent the whole time fantasizing
about slamming my car into the guard rail.
Or blowing a red light.
I fantasized about you sobering up,
and realizing that you're the one that killed me.
I wanted you to feel pain.
Pain like you've caused me.
Because you died.
About a year ago.
I don't even know who you are anymore.
All I know,
is that you cause me pain.

I was everything,
           then I was something.
Now I am something,
           falling into


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