My neighbor and his girlfriend are fighting again -
Is this somehow punishment,
for something I did?

in my heart, there's a hornet's nest
But we can still be together I promise
the only difference is, it might
sting once in awhile honey - and
I chase toxins like a lit match
I used to read my thoughts aloud
with metaphor, and wit
And nowadays it's like I barely get,
A chance to step past this shadow
I blame the acetone in my sleep -
I blame the lights down on me
Like a hospital table

i am forgiven
for the ways i have wasted
for days, i had been tasting
fruit from a tree i found
i am forgiven
for kissing her on the mouth
for days in rewind
Neptune, Neptune

Open the windows let the spring breeze lift flowers with a song in the air -
Pour him a coffee tidy the table
Down come the children
It's an every day gamble, you swear.

There's something in the pizza, I thought
as I could feel the mechanics of my jaw
compress the wet paper ball caught in my throat -
"Your best days are behind you," I heard
through a cup against the wall -
I'm 27 - how could this be possible?
Yesterday I had a birthday party and no one showed up.
I didn't know I was supposed to invite them.
I didn't know it was a party.
I didn't realize I was invited.
Had I known, I would have declined.

I wrote you two letters
Both I sent together -
One was a welcome as well as
a warning of the words to come -
I often said that writing about you
was the easiest thing for me.
Be it the bad times, or the good we shared
I always found a way to mesh the moment
with your feelings, like I forgot mine
on a dusty European coast when you said
You'd come back and the phone never rang.
I watched it for days
At dinner, at dawn - I still remember how
little the food tasted then

I have been sick more times this year
than ever before.
My parents say I should sleep better.
My friends say I should eat better.
My boss says I should read more.
My doctor says I need regular
Exercise. Exercise. How can I walk
When I got so much on my mind?
Only that which can be expelled
At a desk, in my bed, in my dreams,
I'm happy.