You were bubbly and great
at giving
gifts - You knew
what I wanted
before I wanted
it -
You presented
love on a silver screen
and I played the antagonist
Promising stars
not bloodshed or widespread panic -
You had pigtails and a short skirt
You bought me flowers and a new shirt
You thought I was magic but in fact cursed
everyone around me, because the truth hurts
when it arises after a set of lies -
Oh, a set of eyes
bright
and wet
I miss.

six figures spinning
like roulette wheels
red and black and white
oh Lord, please let me
just get lucky tonight -

Love is war, they say
They, being those that say they love me.
War is peace, I read
in books about Hell spit-fire tarantulas crawling
up my cargo shorts black mandibles and clawing
my ****** organs - Love is war, she said with
an ambient glow from my cell phone on her face
A smile of hatred and shame
lust, and disgust in her throat all at one moment
One moment, I ask for -
There's no time for this - she said with a frog
in her diaphragm - I can taste the puke in her mouth from here -
I thought, all too familiar
This taste, this warmth, this light -
All on me - Love is war, I said

Ptshhpht. I been a feminist yo -
I said
Feminist.
Not feminine.
You gotta buy me dinner first.
Or at least a drink or five
Five! Five drinks
And I can do anything.
Actually. Anyone
can do anything.
As a
f e m i n i s t
I think we're all equal.
I think we're all as cancerous
and false, blue deviant as late breakfast
Equal.
I believe if one can't vote.
No one should. Why bother?
You're beyond what would otherwise be
(Free Speech)
But you can't relate
With daisies in your hair
And a cigarette hanging from you lips
Bursting with bacteria
and **** -
Survival of the fittest?
We're all going down, don't you get it?

A waterfall of coffee.
A night I make it to sleep
before midnight
A fresh battery on my phone
A packed lunch, leafy greens and carrots
ready to go -
The alarm clocks are quiet today
The neighbors are still asleep
The birds are chirping
And there's litter in the street -
All these houses look the same
Different colors, types of wood
Shapes of driveways, and mailboxes
The mailboxes!
Some are red, some are white
Some have flags, some reflect at night
I like it here, she said
It's a new beginning for us
Hand shoulder eyes lit
I love you, she said
I want this to work, she said.
I'm trying.

I draw conclusions like a toddler
does a home - crude
rudimentary - scratches
Like that of the inside of a coffin -
It's dark in here, you know
Opposites attract I suppose
Probably get charged with battery
by the time I'm drained -
I'm never letting go -
Self sustaining - I'm -
Selling paintings - I
Can't afford to brush off the truth -
There is war, everywhere.

i'm outdoorsy in a sense
where i like to
drink
on patios
watch the people smile
tan animated hands and sunglasses
football friendship
i like people
on television
on telephones