I’m not sure whether you’re he or she
I’m aware that you surround me
Watching my every movement
Taunting me
Haunting me
Studying my unprotected body
Waking up every midnight
In a hot flash
Drenched in fear
YES, fear!
The one thing you strive for
Feeding off my soul
Until I’m an empty vessel
For you to posses
And live amongst the living
I’m not sure if you have an appearance,
But I can feel you everywhere!
One second you’re in front of me
And then the other second you’re behind me
It’s like you’re playing mind tricks
To corrupt my sanity,
Just for you to attach upon me
Like a parasite
******* the life out of me,
Tampering my vision
To isolate me from dream to reality
A desolate wasteland of no returns
I can’t escape you!
I can scream until my lungs are filled with blood, suffocating me until I’ve reach my next life, but that will never safe me, you’ll eventually find me again
I can scratch my eyeballs out, but I’m still ridiculed by your unseen appearance  
Any moment you can just appear in front of me
And I won’t even know it
You shape shifter of
Abomination
Hell on earth
Like an eternal
Damnation
Why can’t I rid you?
Why must you torment me in every possible way!
Too afraid to step foot on the ground
Hoping you don’t drag me away into another world
Too afraid to open my eyes to catch a glimpse if daylight has ascended
You pretty much have left me cornered
Terrified like a defenseless child
Crying for its mother’s comfort
Into adulthood
You still follow me
Maybe I can’t defeat because you inside me and always around me
Maybe one day I’ll just learn to accept you and live with you
Until then, you’re just a foul fiend that swims around me
Stocking me
Terrorizing me
Dismantling me till I am nothing that remains in my hell that you created

Such a simple fear that has turn my word upside down
To this day I’m left in constant awareness of
My actions
Making sure I do not fail
To reawaken you
Again
It’s so hard to sleep at night
Knowing that you’re inside me
Waiting for the right moment to
Emerge from your slumber
To terrify me
Leave me
In the corner of my room
Crying helplessly
Because I did everything in my will
To fight, but still manage to fail
I fought a long hard battle
I’ve won so far, but lost greatly in this conflict
My future is uncertain
I must live somewhat of a mediocre lifestyle
Since I was a child
The moment the sun disappeared
The darkness starts lurking around me
Leaching on my back
Why is it always night time you love tormenting me?
My answer, you were born at night
I can still remember that night
On this day
Of this month
You made your appearance more vivid to me
I saw you as an infant, but I paid no attention to you  

I remember waking up in fear
Confused because I had no idea of what was happening
Suddenly my heart starts racing fast
My breath becomes short
Panic starts to take over and you begin to
Dance in joy
Laughing at me because I can’t do nothing about it
Then you make yourself present
By ripping out of my mouth
Spreading around the ground
Coming to life
Just to mock me & make my life a living hell for the next 8 years and maybe so on
I’m tired of bandaging
You up,
Just for you to sleep peacefully
While I live a everyday nightmare
My health is unbalance
Consuming to much
Medicine to stay sane, but in reality
I’m going insane
Unable to sleep at night
Always in constant fear
My body is weak of carelessly bandaging you to sleep
I want to give up
I want to sleep peacefully
And not wake up
Knowing I did something wrong without me realizing it
I just want the fight to be over
And not live in constant fear
Watching myself consistently
For mistakes
The soul is willing, but the body needs rest
How long before I go mental?
I yet to have comfort in my life
A helping hand that tells me
Everything is okay
Writing this even saddens me
Because I yet to see hope
Not evening my loving mother
Has provided me with this
I yet to have someone or something to comfort me at night time
To rock me to sleep in harmony
Or even help me fight you
I’m so tired
So sleepy
My eyes hurt
From the lack of sleep
My mind even plays tricks on me
Falsely waking me at night
In fear that you escaped from me
I hate it
I don’t adore it
I frown upon its coming
Because I have half the mind of giving up
I have nothing else to say…
All I can do is  
Wait until I fail
So you can finish what you started
Maybe giving in isn’t so bad…
Maybe it can be a start of something descent
Until then
I must live in constant fear
In shock
Paranoia
Depression
Unable to bandage up because of the fear of
Falling asleep
And never waking up…

I lay on this old dying ground
Knowing my final moments
Are to come
No memoirs to write of a life story...
Just only regret
It’s so hard to forget
No longer attached
To my body
My mind spends time pondering &
Wondering about a glorious story
That fell from grace
Only to be soiled by
Life’s temptations
Greed
Wealth
Power
Glory
And love
Beware that the gods forbid
Love
To which I declared war
I fought strongly, but lost disgracefully
I do not have a soul to call myself a human, nor do I have the morals & ethics to call myself a man
My body is an empty vessel
Only to be consumed by creatures
That lived like me
Only known to the bitter taste
Of the Murky world we live in
Never to know the true taste of beauty
My time is up
I can hear my voice
Fading away
Echoing away into the unknown
Slowly leaving what’s left of me
Possibly living in nothing
Awaiting suffering
Being forgotten

Glare at me
Shine down upon me
Violate me
Flare up the forbidden
Knowledge that dwells in the emptiness
Of a faded paper that travels into the vast
Infinite tunnels of obscurity
A creation
With no name, no soul, no divine plan of its existence.
This thing that travels through our soul and into our hearts
Crawling and infesting light to darkness
Purity to impurity
Love to cruelty
Beauty to sorrow and darkness
Its origins is unknown
It can not be birth by the ritual of life, but made through the unnatural nature of creatures that walk on the dirt of this blue & green sphere
Fear is its foundation of life
To breathe in the leftovers of fresh marvelous gifts
That is abused and taken for granted
Tainting its integrity to forget morals & ethics
Creating a putrid foul smell that suffocates it’s only means of life, forcing it to consume its unholy gift just to grasps a bit of air just to breathe life for survival.  
It is unholy
It is an accident
Sometimes we’re not aware of it until it’s too late
We cry that we didn't create it
In vain we shout, “We are decent”
In reality, we’re nothing more than greedy infested
Corrupted sinners
Who lust for power over others!
And God has left us!
Left us in this wasteland
Deserted us in the unknown darkness
Where no one can find us
Little by little
We reach our demise
One day will cry in agony saying, “ I've regretted this life” at the final moments of life
Where you’re being slaughtered gruesomely
By what we created
Repent has no meaning
Suffer dearly
Because you created your hell
And now you must deal with it
Remember, it’s your second half
You've created.
Die with it.

I watch you gracefully
Move peacefully
Around the heavens
Confine to a coffin
Of lost souls
Unable to escape
The world that once
Rejoiced purpose
Now left to decompose away
While children of the night
Resurface to eat the leftovers
Of what was me
A dinner, a fest, a mockery of me
Split open by ghoulish fiends
A banquet of adulteration & fornication
Bathing in a fountain of pleasure
Drenched inside a velvet river
A life taker & a death giver
I lived a heinous life
Destroyed poor souls
Violated the code of being civil
Hell wouldn't even accept me
You
The moment I gazed my eyes upon you
My aggression to desecrate sentient beings
Vanished
What have you done to me?
What were you?
Why do you accept me?
Why do you love me?
I’m a hideous creature with no sympathy towards
Anything that breathes the air of
Creation
Your innocents was so pure
Your wings spread so gracefully
Your voice was so elegant
Was I dreaming?
I ask myself, why me?
What do you see in me?
I cannot be loved
I have no soul
I just have a ungodly grim heart
Dark as a raven’s feather
You
Constructed from the finest marvel
Glorifying marvelously
Upon where the gods stand
Pure like a diamond that shines
Magnificently in the light of Apollo
Yes!
You were the light to this
Horrific monster
My other half
This duality we created
Balance & union
Love & hatred
Life at one point had meaning, but time has finally caught up with us.
I watched you leave my very arms
Disappear into dust
Vanishing into the air
Returning home to recreate a new life
That roams this rock
I can never return
Only watch you from the heavens
While I suffer an eternity of loneliness
Unbalanced
And
Hatred

This black & white world
With no little delight
The concept of beauty
I have no sight
Wrapped around a needle
Ends that keep you near & dear
My fear, my dear
To be sincere,
Never age, never to be changed, don’t burn
This chapter that is our page
I’ll keep you from being caged
Leave this land away with me
Youth & beauty
Is an illusion
Our bodies will
Wither away
To dust and bones
To fertilize
A never ending cycle
We call life
My attachment
My devotion
Come to life!
I give you motion
Breathe my life in
I’ll give you life
Streams of water
Flowing through my eyes and out my veins
My state of reality no longer
Exist or nor to survive
Goodbye?
No, I’m not delusional
This emotion is unusual
A dark feeling
With no heart
Or soul
A creature that surrounds my every movement
A lifeless body that stares
Down upon me
Stitched from the ends of my skin
Dangling helplessly
I’m a slave to it’s every
Command and I know I’m truly ******
Hope or not
I see a bright light
I feel comfort
I feel… well I don’t know what to feel
No longer amongst the dust
That creates life
No air to inhale
The memories of long & gone
Treasures of beauty & perfection
I stare at this bright light
To ensure what I had near & dear
Is alive, but I curse this white light
Because it’s the creator & death eater
How can you ****** me with love and affection?
While your poison spreads through me like an infection!
It’s like a love hate relationship
How can I simply accept you?
The one thing I had purpose for is long & gone
How can you simply create life and just take it away?
Is there a point to your logic?
Maybe I don’t understand, yet.
I beg you, reconstruct me
Send me back to this dreadful
Black & white world
With no texture & structure
The inability to preserve life
I plead to return what was near & dear to me
For it’s worth something to have
In this cruel fate
It’s something that brings me ecstasy &
Ecstatic coloration to my soul
I simply plead to have
What was near & dear to me
To feel the alabaster tone
Ascend through my heart and soul
A winter land of desire
To watch flocks of black ravens
Land on my chest
To stare at the crystal blue diamonds
To assure peace between
The crimson river that flows through us
To seal a deal
With a red wave
With what is near & dear to me.