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mike dm Jul 2014
Odi et amo.
quare id faciam, fortasse requiris?
nescio,
sed fieri sentio et excrucior*

I hate and I love.
Perhaps you ask why I do this?
I do not know,
but I feel it happen and I am torn apart.
Catullus 85 is a poem by the Roman poet Catullus. It was written for his mistress, Lesbia.  

The rendering of ambivalence regarding the subject of love and hate is done with a simplicity and disquieting surrender. It's almost as if the form itself speaks just as much as the content. I hate and I love. *Odi et amo*. That is all.

I know this feeling. I know it all too well.
caw
mike dm Apr 2016
caw
this
          velvety
spiral

wins every time

                      unfalsifiable lines chime
  
                           its shiny corvid lips
                                      merely graze my sensing its
                     heavy lean
                  
and i arrive
         twitchy
mike dm Dec 2017
him, a tiny
catastrophe,
speeding into the void coy.
easily disposable. the paper
head can only fold
so many times.
yet mind
the liminal and

you too
can heal.

— yes,
even you.

this
thought
came

with a routine flat gaze
through smudge on the window
on a train. it arose

crouching
orthogonal, from

one space where
felt helicals hold
the pause of holy.

he knows
this place
not well.
he feels
inadequate
to the task.

like it’s too late.
like he is an idiot.
like his time is up.

each of
his small rooms
that make him
him is
coated with a
light film of whetted necrosis,

the sharp dust, to come.

but at the epicenter
of each sits
an old woman with
braided hair blacksilverwhite down
to her knees, speaking
looping words which, upon
hitting stolid air of
pyramidal hymn, manifest
sound images in three directions:

of those horrors to come
that, if not
taken at a glance,
annihilate;

of wobbly peace
and tranquil eddy
‘round-the-rock
that heal, all in all;

of fretted final causes
where arrow of our earth-shot
finally ends up. and

upon her forhead
writ in the ledger
of four parallel
wrinkles were:

tremulous
is the inside,
keep a rattle
close by, seeker
mike dm Jun 2015
the frames seen
stain quick
the me

color come

i focus
on the push
and how it moves
white
into redbluegreen *stir
mike dm Dec 2015
bold glitch grip
you've been colored violent by It
code writ scrapes
large like star whorls flake

one solitary chromium petal fell
into a river with a mien of mum
where it wilted
filled with ****

and you watched it come from afar
you saw the small sun become runny
don't lie

dear scar
you must collect yourself or
the ruin of ars
will still
what is ours
into petrified mime
mike dm Aug 2016
troll tooth
oger toe 
flow stupid 
fistful of shiny carbon lattice wilt
and a composted halo too
beautifully torn derivatives slid
from this orifice
oven timer set fer 

office space wasted

noob cubed 
these are exponential times we're livin in, sim

yer prolly obsolete, so tap the banner below
for more there's more
trends friend then interrogate 
unfriend those has-been's for the win dim 
naked lightbulbs swing from
threadbare strings faster than light plus **** too 

there's ***** adorno

how right you were 
this **** is almost criminal 
art narcs on

the hole a' truth
so help me dog

im
the hominid 
that stood up 

this fiction.

slipstream hoolahoop no-show
dm mi c   k lo    w
mike dm Jun 2015
i am
seen
clear through
yet never sure
-ever torn-
by what i see
in you

sliver in my eye
grow grow
into clearcut forest taken from the sky

observe
you can see all of me

i am bark turned
inside-out
my core yours

see me seen

and you?
the cool side of a moon
spooning the abyss after tangoed tryst

we are cosmoses
apart

there will never be a day when
you will say
that's the day i knew
i would always love you


because

othering opacity foreverfizz
mike dm Oct 2016
this thought,
one texture
old sweatshirt

the roam's grin grows
iknowiknow this home is
****** wasted eaten knifed neatly

how??how!how?

texts to ex's
needy emojis
******* us

the bones are coming now
mike dm Apr 2016
this is how the imagination is made:

your tiny origami world gets torn;
then, yer mememe death comes by way of small paper cuts;
from the periphery of this rip, you swim upstream, again,
till you see the fēniks wing glinting like a finger ring careening off the sun.

hmm's and err's now populate yer thinky time
like never before, here in Cleverly Folded Paper World.

t h e r e you are;
mmm, you feel the feels even more,
and the refresh bubbles up from the torn.

but still the big cut creeps back ---
x out old you; new document, anew anew, stares, blinking, waiting.

edits forever bloom steely wutabtme? iridium spiels around edges
of tattooed white petals, elegant writs fell; wilting; seeding...

this world, too, must be cut to fit:
if you wish to have a home for the iNGkē worm
that sillily dreams of one day winning its wings.
dm **** l  o   w
mike dm Jan 2017
everybody wants you
to be better than you already are
a better version
of their whom's
mike dm Jan 2019
tumescent ruin,
grabbing my
pompeii. mass grave
palming after massive
onslaught from those
unmasses of
darkest mame always.
mike dm Dec 2015
Talk to me. About all the things.
Render your blah thoughts. Even if it seems unworthy.

Life IS art. The high flung must leap from somewhere.

That's how we can take off - together - attach wings to your everyday.
Watch it soar above, past the blue tor.
Even if it feels silly. ******* do it.
Make your pain winged. Writ. A narrative with stairs that lead up.

Meet me in the air, even if the **** hits the clouds. I got you babe.
mike dm May 2015
we're all
not-yet-corpses
hobbling around
gravefooted
with one foot
inside the
inevitable gray beyond

entropy
has your number

never forget that
but wear it like a badge

make room for
dissolution
laugh yell sing
like the day is glass
break through

your tragedy
is not you -
it is yours

at all costs
consume
blueberry noon's
make torrid from bore's

say *******
to giving ****'s
grind a lot
swipe right tenderly
glitch slickly
purr for him
get your exorcism on
*** chill
like Michael J Fox
paint lust hot
rainbow swell watercolor
hold him
breathe
be

BE

you
are seen
water and color
beauty bled
sought for
boys will adore
tor of torpid
star of scar

you are not
your tragedy
they are yours
to have

so

see
your dreams
come
then -go-

gone

watch them leave
with style
lean against threshold
wave goodbye
eyes half-mast
look askance cool
as they ride off
get used to
one million and one sunsets
leaving you for good

till tomorrow
mike dm Dec 2015
death is not the final glyph kiddo
you are god of this here snowglobe tale
so tell it like it is n shake it shake it till it's hallow
mike dm Jan 2016
then she looked at me, gazing
with a vigor that collected my scattered thoughtstream

and, fixing her stare, she said:

what if we tabled our demons?
Pulled up a chair for them? Got to know them, instead of
trying to vanquish their persistent presence?


and setting upon my worried head
sat something like
the quality of being wise; it inscribed

lithe formulation with a depth, true.
and i knew,

then

the types that once arched so high, so vaunted in blue,
were mere sets of symbols
induced with the incantation of a brow
steeped in trickery of the highest order.
mike dm Aug 2016
thin cleave of her
insinuating itself
my skin scrim accepting

altar to alter
this touch is a pill
im ****** up

pupils chasing
out the white
fell elegiacally

dark mattering
cup brimming
this is dope
mike dm Feb 2016
catch all the thoughts in spiral,
observe them and
name the **** out of them.
dm micklow
mike dm Sep 2015
you have to be strong
because I am weak

as
****

the i in me wants to us
but first you must get better

get better
OK?
stay alive
don't
die
mike dm Apr 2016
don't let me in.
i'm old scratched plastic cup, the color daffodil,
sitting overnight in the blue kitchen sink.

don't let me in.
i'm too far gone; i'm tightrope walker of leftover hairs
stuck inside the hairbrush on your nightstand.

don't let me in, ever.
my thoughts are caught inside themselves
where they play the role of both inmate and guard.

do not let me in,
you'll jus get hurt. seriously.

im a ******* *******
******* bastsrd ******* bastaed
*******
mike dm Nov 2015
that super brief
moment

when something like
sanity
pushes

it

to the corner of your eye

but then
like an idiot
you
-look-
mike dm Jun 2014
did you know that
in your periphery -- right now -- stands a
worriesgoneyayperfection that
turns to dust if
you look at it?
mike dm Dec 2017
the dark
is just a star
slow rainbow soup
mike dm Jul 2016
she turned inward
arched winding squirm
and spun

this.
passionflesh,

urge and awe,
hand swam under
deep beneath
herself.
mike dm Sep 2014
I couldn't
Bring myself
To draw the curtains

Opaque ****** drape
Slake the slouch and slumber
Outlining the seat of my being

Four dark solemn walls
Stand guard
Over the zeros painted in my head

I no longer draw the curtains
They draw me
mike dm Dec 2015
drops of rain
wet the left side of this thought
all feels right as ray
beclouded
fury of were
put behind me ******* finally
mike dm Jan 2017
show me your rearview mirror of me,
so that I can know who I am.
mike dm Dec 2015
if only the rip
could kiss these lips of mime
and make it want to speak again
e
mike dm May 2015
e
the blur of back then
old haunt of mine
immanent
keeps me in my place
feeds me images
a fate grim

it ceases
little
pill that poisons still

specter
black nectar sweet **** bloom
mouths its charms of harm with
a flick-a-the wrist

take this life
and cut your risks
watch consequence bleed


it feeds

doer of no things
charred holes in
memory

maybe i am
not blood and bone
but props to mold

yet

footsteps
push through it
somehow

walker of me
footsteps not my own
pushes through hard times
concrete wave after wave
the ebb
usurping the flow

the haunt the haunt

you're nothing
you're nobody
you are history


and then

a break
a clearing in the brood

creature
beast of burden
shone

pigeon
humble beginning
of unlikely starry constellation
leading me to

girl in the park
that took the clench
inside my chest
spreading its five wings

spell no more
white-knuckled hell flush again

lifted
space provided
winged

stone turned over
inner-whorl from bud sprung
i have my feet under me

memory
of you walking me through it
hand in wing
mike dm Jan 2016
i've never been able to
  fit in
anywhere, not really -- not with friends, not with family, and
not with

lovers.

me: freak; lots of leaks; knees hugged; tears, none left.

my superpowers consist of
hours

w a s t e d

awkwardly.
boxed in by this, my silly imaginarium.

i feel so small.

i mean, after all, my
heart
is missing from my chest.

i am
  eater of space: plenum

for
  your
plenty.
dm m i c k l o  w
mike dm Dec 2015
one hand
driven up sunken
inhaled midsection
resting at wet sternum
pausing to spread
five fingers
i can feel the beat quicken

digging them in
i inch up toward her

body angular  
waves of her churn
i eat dishes beastly
her entire plate clean
mike dm Apr 2016
this flickering heart
                    has been carved out
and framed

as light
              
              it beats                         
                 alongside winks of other lights
from otherwheres
where otherhearts too
                       are pictured there

           eat me
      
   ingest
   mine
      
filet of scarlight
for yours
       truly

   in these
darker times
                            so that you may see more

                                it's not much
                                 but it's all i have
mike dm Dec 2015
me in the mirror

i stare hard
as if im waiting for something to

happen

but all i see is
this
always this

every time
the bore the bore
it eats at me

but then a storm

fist
rising up my throat
here it comes
to grab my tongue
mike dm Dec 2015
when she gets home
i'm going to take off her pants
and eat her from behind

i'll lick the plate clean
all of it
from orb to knot

until those three muffled words secrete from her
dm micklow
mike dm Jun 2016
heartmaw set
on edge,
again -

this silly
little head
never seems to rest.

that muscle jus below the breastbone
will get the job done.

it fiends
the headfeed.

awkward holes of
black slowclap,
bentcrouched underneath the seat
of what's left -

yet little small events are there, always (a)waiting
over the tiny, unlit horizon
of thoughtstream eddy screams.

(choice is coy ---
it's sorta yours, except when its not)

eat the emote.
masticate the fury.
break down the snowstatic.
it's unyum, sure,

but,
jus listen,

and
at the
bottom

of the hole
you will
hear the bowl
hum and sing.

lit
space

so light

it will blind
you to
the abundant bads
that has
shot through,
replacing it with
hot shade truer.

it will
let you
defy
and
be

utter space.
mike dm Apr 2016
in that little honey hued moment
after helixed bodies
came and went,

where the arc of something sets down
over us
from over there,

with its glow suggesting things
of clenched whitened-knuckle awe,
hugging worried spaces,

i face
myself as
not just watcher -
not just wanderer -
but rushing water wide,
being conveyed

somewhere

into the big run of the space over there
where the strange firebreather awaits
as conjured conjurer
with nestled talking wings that cue us forward,

as we
gyrate
around
in circles; swirling
objects along
the side

for now.
mike dm Nov 2015
that cold, brisk sorta smokey smell of autumn tho that infuses your nostrils like an ancient tonic which abruptly awakes you from ugh slumber and blah dumb depression, and, somehow, weirdly heals the affects of those two festering holes left by energy vampires that ****, literally and figuratively
mike dm Apr 2016
my computer is tombstone
s'only room for one in this, here, algorithm

i'm done

rumi was on ta somethin - eff zombie werds
shelve that ****

yer yum glistenskin skims my mouth probes  
libraries lost easily contained in each feel
makes me undoom this dumb selfieshtick kitsch i do
that kills the mood with two neck wounds incisors apart

feels before syntax

jus thought i'd let you know
*******
mike dm Aug 2016
elegant and smooth;
likelihood probabilistic hot mess:
the dissonance is real

i am accident
i am incident
i am confused

conferred meaning
meaningful universe
dreams of saccharine dissolution

eat me
fungi gets
the last laugh
mike dm Dec 2015
stress stress stress
stress stress
stress stress stress stress

stress
stress stress

stress stress stress stress
stress helpiminhell stress stress
stress stress
stress
mike dm Jun 2016
butterknives lithe.
garbage disposal yoga.
oger cortisol dump.

i guess i'll jus eat my teeth now
and face me.

heartmaw
must

feed.

i have no reason
-or imagination-
anymore

to
stay

here.

not really..

----- pls feel all the feels for me.
this melo d is real,

i swear.

my torn tears tear
down this face
encased in rusty bladelace.

yours diaphanously,
mememe.

its so
*******
sad
mike dm May 2016
got the truck stuck
wheels spinning
cloey (the goat) stares at me
mike dm Jun 2015
spit
into the mouth
of a
mortal
after they've been
smeared across
time
and space
with a touch
or a kiss
and
like a Greek myth
they shall forget what's what

see
ebony red white
shriek across their
flitting
closed eyelids

watch them
rise
then fall

i know the routine

the come down
-gone ballistic-
gravity takes the wheel

what will you bring back
after the door has been cracked?

how will you -ever-
tell others
about your
pirouette into
the space in-between the lines?

they will call you "mad"

its a fact that

i remember things that never were
trusswork of
littlegod tendril
wrapped around my feels
a dais for tor or
a dazed whirr
for her

dear A,

i scarified my hand with
the glowcherry of a cig
sitting in my car
outside your house
on that summer nite
so that i could forget less
the trap of love

it is not a thing

create
rig
do what it takes to
make beautiful the truth
but do not reach or love
like it is a thing that
wants to be found
mike dm Jun 2014
i want your words
to become one hand gripping
the swell below
mike dm Apr 2016
her blooming figure gyrating
arcing, tilting, wilting above;
my tasting her secreting prose,
licking all the lines

that come
and go

like fallen petals hugging themselves
in moonglow spell,
lit with an aftercoil meld, blueblack waters stilled
mike dm Jan 2016
bifurcated breath condensed on cold window
two little lungs hung there
respirating palettes for your fingerling muse
dm micklow
mike dm Apr 2016
sojourn of old extremities
into new space
pinkbloom ribbons and ropes
mike dm Jul 2014
i can count on both hands
how many times i've actually felt alive

one of them
was when
we laid under the stars

we both became
something else
that which cannot be grasped

******* existence flush

your eyes
refracting nuclear lines
that hung before our spent bodies
so very mortal
evermore uncoiled

you held my hand
but it felt dead
fist of dread
mike dm Jun 2016
heartyarn spun
beneath the bloom
of this fist, opened
dm micklow
mike dm Dec 2017
august december sun
showing itself around here, again.
the nerve.
mike dm Apr 2016
i feel alive, again, sunrise ---
this is all too strange, noon high ---
i don't want it, early eve ----

i wonder what
it would feel like
to be

alive,

moonfall.
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