My biggest hope,
collides with my greatest love,
what is there to cope,
when the realest thing you know,
is your greatest foe,
your greatest dream,
clashing with your greatest desire,
setting your soul on fire,
I just am split,
needing to think and sit,
voice getting low,
and them trying to make you feel like your the world,
but my world was building up to it,
bit by bit,
I have craved them,
but there is no going back,
because my heart doesnt know truth from fact,
I want to have it the most,
to beable to boast,
saying, "this is mine world and it will be greater than I could ever dream",
stuck inside which side to fight for and which side to lean,
I need to contemplate,
which one is right,
which one will be with me in the end of the night,
they have experienced the awesome bliss,
of someone that they always miss,
and I am just standing still,
what happens when you have to decide your thrill,
to decide your future on one or more,
there is no rhyme to help, no score,
so I just end up feeling sore,
and sad,
because I have to decide between a love I dont want to let go,
or a son or daughter I may never know.

Dear my small world,
It's early and teenagers are walking to school,
the sun is warm and cool,
my eyes are closing as I pass them by going the other way,
my old friend creeps on me and reminds me of a spring mountain day,
being those kids walking slow,
not knowing the episode,
but enjoying the show,
their mountains are just a brighter green,
my old friend gets in my stomach and the top he tends to lean,
the smells of anxiety and the fear of uncompleted homework,
make me smile,
I pass by swings and see my world become night,
and two kids in Florida are in my sight,
talking aboot nonsense but still returning to smile and laugh,
it becomes funny and two drunk kids in Reno take their place,
I can tell who they were but I couldn't see a face,
my old friend creeps to my mouth and my past I can taste,
I suddenly am on the swings holding my hand in front,
staring at a star,
reaching out with one eye closed I feel like I can grab it,
my eyes open and I almost take oot some teenager,
something's die hard I say,
and they look the other way,
and say, "ok crazy",
the past maybe getting hazy,
but the feelings never die.

Slow tunes playing somewhere in the background,
never emptying glasses of wine
talk flowing,
mood feels right tonight
beautiful by my side.

You pull me close... 
so hard…  
I feel the wings of butterflies.

Fingers lace through my hair,
whispers spoken,
“all mine.”

Lips brush against mine
a glint full lust in dark eyes

Smothered in kisses you catch me by surprise, fill me with your size.

Out of breath laid out on a tangled mess,
layers torn,
exposing my breast.

Then the devil did he take over clouding your mind,
You bite!

Blood curdling cries,
entirely at your mercy,
you brand me in so many places.

You take me from behind,
hard and fast you ******,
enjoying what you took.

We both know this is my end,
i beg for it,
need of it,
I feel the cold steel as you slice

Throat slit claret spills,
I fall to the pool on my side.

The last thing I see as my life fades
 is a linger of
lust,
raw,
behind,
dark eyes,
as you watch me die....

My body in all its glory,
abandoned,
soulless,
slowing decomposing,
ravaged by creatures under moon light.

     "people aren't always what they seem....."
                         !WARNING!

(SW)