I see no degradtion
in my broken passion of words
these words I speak from my deepest creases
my secrets hidden in the birds

I let you read me in my peices of peices
and I am called absurd
I let you let me shift you with my magic
now your vision of me is more blurred

Ill let you hunt me down
so lopsided and up and done battered
I open the door hallucinating and tattered
its not not like you never mattered

I just have remote in my hands
I have intrusive in my wastelands
now my lungs expand

slow
ly
I lift my eyes and bend my head
without voice I preech muse of the dead
Im yearning for more than lifes bread
and we yell enough
enough
was said
but I get on my knees and I beg
life I say might there be something better that you can
grant
to express myself in ways purer than this
because I feel that I cant

I will carry my mind somewhere further than any foreign land
somehwere to a brutal coma
where little aliens of dripping uphoria exsist
hidden deep in every uncharted abyss
they will come up from the mudd
I will unravel them with the unraveling of this flower bud
I will lift my head up then nudge
in acceptence of all these empty cabinets
they have been emptied out by my wet mouth
to ease the pain and **** the drought
that burries itself like a baby

I pressed my prancing ear upon the chest of the thin melancholic paper
the words dripped like purluded dreams of infants
I beckon to trace my invisible whispers deeper into the parchment
the pen touched the edge of tatter
and my veins pump the bluest blood through my fingers
Im bound by the seduction of the black art
mused by its very exsistence
Im in a constant dilemma of letting it persecute my very movements
hurl my insides to make them distorted
it is what allows me to walk straight
emotions spit darkness into the light
and I am basking in the harmonious sun
leaving splinters on every pore
and I beg for
more

be so kind to speak harshly
too lovely to think smoothly
and open your skin so I can peer inside everything you
believe in

waters thrusting without a sound
in my playful obstacles of the notes that bound my lips together
and I am purging thoughtful gazes in every direction
or so to speak

I stand and hear snaps applause for my devotion
admiration and unforgiving blunteness
into my perception on the side walk the brim of homelessness sits on
and I hum as I walk away from shaken lands
the happiest tune I ever learned

the findings are premorse
and the abstract facts are not enough
you see

when I speak, forgive me but I always try to transgress
logically
fame in the writing of words are a bore
and there is no cure in them
speech is in the pit of the abdomen
words are poetry spat out from the core of any woman

paralyzing fears
spark different personalities
in the pit of something so much deeper than gesture
you graze inside me like a caged discern waiting to be realesed

you must be realesed


reveal your accent to my forgein tongue
never be shy
in your absence I am still present

still waiting

with your cornacopia imposed on my judgment
I'm extending my arm out to you

I imagine myself senseless bound by curiosity
of dispatch
and curiosity of prostitution in mind
I bring forth white flowers
perching saying acute names
powdered lies on your stagnant body
Your clothes are your skin
minus everything you are
**** in my small hands
I hold everything in the deeper side of you
I feel your childhood fear come out in my sighs
Ill breath everything out for you
from asphault my hunger torwards yourself grew

I confronted the insects
I bared my secrets
I spoke of my urge
and still hid so much away from me
in corners behind your eyes
my eyebrows searing
while staring up locked in intimate gaze
and sacred expressions that make me bend
in the late evenings

all I truly care about at the moment
is curling up in your arms
speaking of my resentment and admiration
torwards your careless character
Im so abundant with nourishment and hatred
so filled with the emptiness of me and you

If I can so raise my voice
to were every soul would listen in praise
I would speak of nothing but my loneliness
hurl out and send words into the universe
of my collasal seclusion

my hair grows and with it months of solitude
I almost feel like I cant write anymore
like my words are meaningless
because you will never read them
I will never bare arms
I will never look in your direction
where will inspiartion come from

when your sitting in the park alone
the grass nestles and makes noises
damp from the rain earlier that day

the bench is dark brown
and I sit on it anyways
my pants get wet

I dont care

I stare at the sun
it stings my eyes
and I become further annoyed with myself
further annoyed with my day
and further annoyed with my life

the light makes me feel lonlier than ever
the sounds of the birds singing in harmony
make me feel hallow inside

the sounds of cars driving by

I hope you remember the days
I hope you remember the non exsistent apology you gave me

I will remember everything

I get this feeling
dew drops in window panes its 5 am
,the cold is stinging me and my back feels a bit sore from the different weather
life stings outside
I lay motionless, half asleep I look at my furniture and my ceiling
and I get this feeling

I looked at all my old things
remembered holding them as a child
and my stomach caves in
moisture slides down my chin
as I overlap the different colors on the wall with a half grin

I go somewhere in my head where I have never been
sitting on top of the wall of berlin
tearing to get to that thing that is so much deeper than under my skin
I open my eyes slowly to get the perfect glance,
whisper sin

Im a deluded dreamer trapped in the core of someone elses refuge
its not mine

it was never mine

hollow filled with courses from my bloodline
I leaned back as I adorned the crevice in your jawline
defined and explicit irrational and sensitive
from that I resign
water moving down like wine into our skyline,
Im overturned into your pshyco love mass incorporated to burn bridges
and start a upheavel of immense love and rememberence
of all your most beautiful things
hidden in my cabin in the naked blue forest I have dripped down
with my hands
morphed into something bloodcurdling on a whirlwind
with gracious hormones of anarachy built under all your
comely bones

paralyzing fears
spark different personalities
in the pit of something so much deeper than gesture
you graze inside me like a caged discern waiting to be realesed

you must be realesed


reveal your accent to my forgein tongue
never be shy
in your absence I am still present

still waiting

with your cornacopia imposed on my judgment
I'm extending my arm out to you

I cry my heart dry to the thought of you

my eyes they feel as though---

I dont want to think about you
because if I do
I will have a drought within my body

for years

I have dreamt of you so many times
I have thought of how it would be
to simply stand next to you

I remember your parents porch
and I remember you
on bright sunny days
you couldnt be more beautiful---

you were----
so beautiful

and no matter how anyone sees you from that angle
you will never be more beautiful
than to me at that second
when I walked up
and introduced drinking wine

I will never forget that day
when nothing could have been more simple
than me laying down next to you
I remember everything
down to your awkward smile
nothing
nothing was more beautiful
than your smile

thinking of any gesture that you might make
noone will ever be more impassioned by you
than me
hate that truth
or grasp it
no one will
but me
because we come from the same place
that has a thick air of loneliness

makes my blood cringe
and I feel inconsistent knowing that any of you
was ever really
real

I hurt knowing and remebering that you were real
your beauty
hurts me

Im wounded by who you are

in a complete sense and completely
I am everything
in everything that you are
and if you cease to exsist

then I am dust.

and nothing matters anymore
although you never mattered

because I am nothing but dust

to tattered eyes
in hopeless glimpses
in everything without you.

she disclaims her beauty has been long forbidden,
I will release the very low curve
of your manifesting back
lock it with mute fragility
and the furthest land away from absence

I sense curiculum
the binding of neverending days
overturnedto the same face
and the same wake up call
the long exsisting dream

venture you out
from the most brutal mortality
in my small hands
I will make you fit

your heavy
and your abudunace in character
murders me

but I will find
the right place
for you

precious torment

I have hidden away for so long
I will exhale my very breathe
the one which I have held in for so long
you see I was suffocating

tender,let go

Gracefully.

I pressed my prancing ear upon the chest of the thin melancholic paper
the words dripped like purluded dreams of infants
I beckon to trace my invisible whispers deeper into the parchment
the pen touched the edge of tatter
and my veins pump the bluest blood through my fingers
Im bound by the seduction of the black art
mused by its very exsistence
Im in a constant dilemma of letting it persecute my very movements
hurl my insides to make them distorted
it is what allows me to walk straight
emotions spit darkness into the light
and I am basking in the harmonious sun
leaving splinters on every pore
and I beg for
more

be so kind to speak harshly
to lovely to think smoothly
and open your skin so I can peer inside everything you
believe in

waters thrusting without a sound
in my playful obstacles of the notes that bound my lips together
and I am purging thoughtful gazes in every direction
or so to speak

I stand and hear snaps applause for my devotion
admiration and unforgiving blunteness
into my perception on the side walk the brim of homelessness sits on
and I hum as I walk away from shaken lands
the happiest tune I ever learned

the findings are premorse
and the abstract facts are not enough
you see

when I speak, forgive me but I always try to transgress
logically
fame in the writing of words are a bore
and there is no cure in them
speech is in the pit of the abdomen
words are poetry spat out from the core of any woman

sudden inspiration floods the veins in my eyes
when the death of long lost thoughts prances near
you speak of me,--- beautifully my dear
and my anxiety cuts to the chase
who will claim the victory to the blood race

the red fluid which pumps souls
the char emotion that our hearts cant control
the steel weapons
the guilty pleasures that our hands cant hold
my intellect
my issue
was sold
to the most gracious one of them all
and here is where I think about how I should fall
to whom should my feeble knees crawl
and to think would any of it have even been worth the drift at all

poison creeks
I have memorized how he speaks
how he moves his eyes in such a way
to have me sway
into the black pool
shaded by a light arena of dreams

legs crossed in black lace
I feel no disgrace
no hinder in my sexuality
however nothing statifies me more than the thought that
I am  lady
and in my heart there is an army
and in my thoughts many dark alleys
forgivness finds its way into the darkness
steered by my hopeful persistence
on the magnificence marked in everyday

leaned over your body
quite
haunted me so
loved me very insane

my world went chaotic
my nerves , they
--
over flowed

kissed, dramatically
trying to push the world further
into my small body

overturned
burned

mourning who I was before this
with a smirk

rigid the edge of the corner
where I have been subduded
pursued
by you

loving me internally
breathing the very core of me

I am wine in between your fingers

my fingers break when I write this
my mind cracks like the grounds of a death filled earthquake
my lives are petrified
and the thoughts who are civilans perish
under the lava of life that erupts itself
with contagious fumes in my mind
I came close to something that
could have well rolled of my tongue so nicely
as perfect
now Im far away
and I might always be
burden places itself on my side
smiling at me always
like a dimmed creature
horror film based
1940's
always next to me

pain stakingly
one day It will come to our hault
our exit
our departure
and Im on my way
with a staggering pulse
and wavering feet

the only other paths on my side
are hell, disguised
demised
I press my finger against my temple
and wished for nothing but annihalation of thought
and the smallest breathe of fresh air

your image brings both
and Im a ghost I feel as though sometimes
I might bury myself in the clouds forever

cause they are pale and soft
and this reality is full of needles and thorns

my eyes fall out of my body
as my hearts is watching them discreetly like infatuated murderers
and mourns

I wish for nothing
but to scrape the inside of your pit

I want to cry my tears out to this parchment; you see
Im immersed in my complete edherence to something
that is so much smaller than me

and what is smaller than me
maybe
nothing

you were shining
and you were immaculant
in my shade you were the sun that
bare me to have any kind of shade
in my thoughts I stray abosloutley mezmorized by you
and everytime thoughts would come into place
my passion towards your infinite darkness grew

I wish to go so deep into you
to know your skin from the inside out
to reveal your being
speak to you of it without a doubt
I want to teach you
about yourself
to know of every cell,
your movements and your health

I am a animal in a forest
placed from a humble abode
I feel that this is my true home
taken out of my world
and brought so abruptly
so sincerely
into yours

I find that ebb into alienation
brings flow to my psyche

the blood coursing through me
runs at a higher tide
my love for all the things that I so
admire
diminishes when I walk out
from retaliation
and it is yet that I have
discovered meaning profound enough
to detach me from all these
miniscule things

for what is more powerful
then the notion that moves us all
for any reason
even the *******
mmm the *******

hidden under water
that can crush the skull
hidden under all the darkest parts of you
hidden in the tombstone
or in the first house you grew up in

we all yearn for the same thing

your hands bend like twisted willow
on somber chains
my heart is mute and pale in presence
of your subtle anger
hidden
deeply rooted into
your beautiful eyes

I beg to go deeper

although I know the income
of my words will retalite
I know how they will scar
some crevice
and unknown part of me
yet to discover
dead
until you have awakened it
with that flesh on your face
that monstourus gaze

they will speak about me
say how I differ too much
how I speak to much of broken hearts
and sorrowfull songs
but I know to every real human heart
every one of my poems is but a childhood sing along

I leaned over backwards
to eat the paint that dripped from
your lips, hearty sentiments
given to nature by exquisite controversy
life took humanities blood drenched towel
and squeezed us out
and now we lay
here
in something that is so
much more powerful than your
average noisy silence
and I smile gently to you

I bend my head
the bend of a ******
I lift my eyes and gravel the world
with my schztophrenic eyes
I touch your lips
with the fingers of a ******
then walk by you like a geisha
Im am my own schizophrenia

I palpitate in your breathe
I move in smile
I love in torture
and you are so beautiful to me

brake bonds between thy and your cresent lips
that are edged with the words of the sun
and the laughter it brings to the children
of our days
the youth of our minds
the subtle grandfathers and grandmothers in our
pre pubescent hearts


do you lag when you walk
up to the temple of my gestures
the columns are thick and victorian
a high ceiling
and a low waisted mistress
living in the water under your footsteps
drenched in white
consumed in a black hue
she is the abscence of light
do you understand
yes and proceed foward


I allow you with so much of me
to come into me
and I condem you with little
chase you with haste
and depart on my fruitfull alliances
with that and poverty of dependence
I mutually give my self to the wrectched
creatures of the dark
I print my name with my nails
into my own sarcaphogus
built by the highest of your kind



your bodies eat away at my mental felsh




might I explain
be so selfish to put words into a matter
that was done in complete selflessness
yet I am to be crowned the empress exigency


I stare in the mirror so pretty
so graceful
yes
I am the empress of
exigency

I see no degradtion
in my broken passion of words
these words I speak from my deepest creases
my secrets hidden in the birds

I let you read me in my peices of peices
and I am called absurd
I let you let me shift you with my magic
now your vision of me is more blurred

Ill let you hunt me down
so lopsided and up and done battered
I open the door hallucinating and tattered
its not not like you never mattered

I just have remote in my hands
I have intrusive in my wastelands
now my lungs expand


slow
ly
I lift my eyes and bend my head
without voice I preech muse of the dead
Im yearning for more than lifes bread
and we yell enough
enough
was said
but I get on my knees and I beg
life I say might there be something better that you can
grant
to express myself in ways purer than this
because I feel that I cant

I will carry my mind somewhere further than any foreign land
somehwere to a brutal coma
where little aliens of dripping uphoria exsist
hidden deep in every uncharted abyss
they will come up from the mudd
I will unravel them with the unraveling of this flower bud
I will lift my head up then nudge
in acceptence of all these empty cabinets
they have been emptied out by my wet mouth
to ease the pain and **** the drought
that burries itself like a baby
under the sheets of blood in my eyes

bare as I speak the lines of the pandemonioum
in the hands of all the generations before us
wet room
I see the departure of glory
like a laughing damsel on her knees
you purge
everything inside of you
and your screams flow through the breeze
I am more than a rose
and more than a stone
and are we all, am I?

yes yes we all contemplate this
and then we belittle the abstract facts
is it the war
is it the hate
no no because regardless lifes fate
will always remain dangerous

I use to be obsessive and content at a certain point
now Im carless
now the shrill doesnt dig into my marrow
just my skin
Im not drained of every ounce of blood
just exhausted in thought
my burning passion is in my esophagus
and I will hold my tongue
until your dead
fatigued from my mind and up and gone
I'll sway you on a rope in front of me
to torture myself every now and then
because Im twisted
in violent serene ways
Ill give you a high with my sensitivity
Ill curl up like a infant next to your knees
and ask you to sing me your favorite lullaby as
a child
that is what I will rest to
and hold out on all your most accepted
memories
because I will make them mine
and steal them like grains of sand
from the playground
cover your eyes
when I walk by you
dont speak and block out the noise
because I only plunge
and the refusal its what makes me light the
candle
let the wax burn my thighs
and Ill meditate to the songs of your soul
while staining my insides with coal

trails of mute expectations trail closer to the new meaning
condemned

I delight in the falling of foreign objects
broken objects

night I say is brighter than day
when I look into the pale darkness
of your nerves
the lines in your eyes

it turned out acute
hidden within more hidden
explicit
parts of you

Im standing at a distance
this balcony feels like it could break
and I just might fall

last night I drove with dead people
Im surrounded by them through out so much of my day
their words flow through air
no, but they dont flow
through life
meaningless
they are so meaningless

but everyone is suppose to have a reason

the dead are everywhere
even when Im alone
parts of me fall
like dead skin
they are rotting on my collar bone
I rub them off


the dead sing to the world
and the world
it listens
and they dance
to the music

the meaningless music of the dead
the bleach blonde
and the brunette

are we written on the lips of that
manipulated venom seeping into your mind
those who see
see the crime


and then love
where does that go
ask the dead
maybe they will know

concrete painless seduction
overwhelmed by my own understanding of your pain
love thins like alocholic blood
seeping everywhere
onto my lips
onto my fingertips

and things they feel withered down
by your withered down eyes
cries cries
cries
cries
crying I care
begging to find out what you would like me
to cook you in the morning
oh anything to put a smile on your rigged face

cold dry and wet your ***** speaks in my body and
in the back of my arms I am so so beaten down by your
love

is that love,
that comes knocking on my window sometimes
like a child
with beautiful red cheeks and little fingers
and wonderful innocent eyes?

you stung me with the vital glare of your black eyes
everytime a tidal wave that recedes
and all my pride hides
somewhere deep inside of you
all my senses have been taken away from me

you to me,
you are like the bones hidden somewhere in the deepest
part of the ocean
men who have died so long ago
their lives are lost
their identities sold

you to me
you are like the water spilled on the ground
by a child 30,000 miles away
and the maid wipes the spill with the kitchen towel


you to me
you are like the violin played by the man
who has no passion for it but does it for show
and the access of warm skin
so meaningless so worthless
but a tool of trickery and deceit


you to me
you are like the sunday on which I tire my hands
and my soul lays restless
while I should be on warm sheets sleeping under the sun


there are so many things you were to me
but I loved you because we shared the same
insanity

you heard the mute whisper
you walked with heavy hot stones on your back
but you still strayed towards me
you held me
I gave so much it hurt I gave more then you would know
but I didnt give my all, I did still have room to grow

the girl of no return
hiding behind pale papery skin
and malicious eyes
so gentle when you walk
and angry when you speak
heavy when you think

and we would have thrown out
a thousand different lands for you
they say,
just promise a stable mind
bring back the old acts
are you not so human
that you cant feel the agony in these voices that cry to you
lovely bird once you where white
bathe in the dew fallen on pedals by spring rain
and free yourself

press hard against your heart
and ****** the past
and leave it there
somewhere in a cemetary in your mind
to rest in peace
acknowledge it will always be there

and let it be calmly
in a far away place
where it cannot bother you

why do I welcome such ignorance
faulty and young
I have simply lost sense of direction
fleeting down dark paths
you make me smile
when you walk further
and so fast

into me
it has to be with that
that in which lacks knowledge
because if not
this entire situation wouldnt exsist
and a woman like me
must expeirence this


whos nature is it that I cross in where Im not familiar with anything
and my forest is a mystery to you
but we walk in iresponsibly
and the natures mix
and when I look at you while the leaves are falling all around us
my skies reign down on your land
and we shake the ground beneathe us
I feel as if your earth that I wrap with my skin
will eat me whole


the air becomes thicker as the burning branches come falling down
smoke suffocates me
and my neck is falling back
Im breatheless
Im speechless
if communication was my only form of survival


I would hold my tongue


for tampering with a such a natural disaster
will lessen the beauty
when now you can stand in the middle,
I am in the middle
and I am witnessing
the destruction we are causing to our planets

the ground breaks
and I finally fall between the cracks
laying there
satisfied.

frail innocence
waiting for you to abide by my silent eyes
and my calm wrists
the white flowers fall off your cheeks in my sleep
and I'm condemed by you
I thirst like a child waiting for your simple words
simple words that will finally end these little waves

simple sighs

to end the paleness that floats aloft inside of me and alone
I have too much courage for this small body
too much strength for all this fragility
to simply get a glimpse of your slightly aged skin
to simply be able to listen to your voice
even in my thoughts

beckon to me with quivering lips
as I stare into the sun of all my innumberable objects
that swam in the days in where
our skin would touch

and I laughed
and sighed
and told you that I think
your the moon thats cradles my bed

life in junction
life in motion
under my little feet
Im hungover
and I sing out loud all the songs that you
hate to hear

maybe you are not for me
nor I you
and Im just too much
Im breaking your basket with all my eggs
and my childhood is incomprehensible
and who I must be
clings to you shirt

and I am detached from your mind
I see you as I see my coffee in the morning
twice a year
and Im followed by herds of
paper , and no paper

simmer me down from this restless place
that isnt so restless
where I can turn off all these machines
so that I am detached from this
society
I despise so much

lay me out naked on a tree
but only by myself
and only with you
or you
or you who dispersed me as a child

I have found a new passage way
and I find my remarkable exsistence
pulled up higher
by means of these new words I utter
from pure distraction
this is my distraction
from all this cruelty

I want you to understand
every strand of hair on my body is in pain
my blood is a knife
flowing through me
secretly whispering your name to my skin
and my skin burns and falls like ash

my sheets are stained with the deader parts of me
my body lays on the bed
and in the dark hallway
I am peering into the room
watching the love rot away
and decay

the moon burries itself into the sun
and I bury myself into everything I cant reach
and I sink so
so
deep

will you create those little things
when you look back and think of all the memories
like a picture
old snap shot
tattered edges


wearing all white I hold my breathe
next to the massive body of water
Im made out of salt
and I melt on the lips of the winds
the humidity is staining my fingertips
and Im closing my eyes immersing in the
dysphoria of all of this

finally
posture comes to my bended bones
when I realize I am a waterfall
stuck in the drawer of an old mahogany vinaty set
laying somewhere in a abandoned house years
and ages away
miles and miles far remote from this place
I stare in haste


I collaborate with the atoms around me
the molecules that form my wasted id
Im a child, my hands are still small
but they are rough

Im at the park, its the closest I can get to my seed
the dirt that I am made out of
cause nothing here is natural anymore
take me away please
somewhere where I can walk on history
not in a land were the worst genocide took place
an annihlation that was dressed in a costume
oh no it was a cleansing

I rather walk on gravel
broken roads
then on fresh paved streets

I rather live in the forest
than in this so called democracy

Oh that your hips lock to the crevice of my interchanging mute fragility
that I may become a part of your absoloute screaming
inclining infidelity
that I may wrap my cotton black sleeves around your wrists
and have you hum some old lullaby that your mother
use to sing to you when you were a child

mourning down at the pastel lake
where the waters scream its wonders and secrets
that hold something in the deeper side of you

I'm casting the debut of our lives on a pictionary mind
where thoughts interlude and transgress
every now and then and I am eluded by your watchful glare
into the raindrops that fall into my naturally black hair
I am subtle and hollow in your speech
calm and protective
on defending my own means
of living

oh there you are and I am blinded
all along
invisible with the cloack that I saw
hanging on the sides of your face

imaginary- beautiful , envision no pain
nor disgrace
wrapped in sheets of warm weather
and cool breeze
needless and the most needed
uneeded needs

my cheeks are red sunkissed by the shine
of everything surrounding me
completely bewildered knowing this is mine

bare I hold out all my caged animals
to seek your truth
hidden under gardens of possibility and crime
my mind
I see
is on the edge of extingtion
when drowning in all the different skin

I wake up early on sundays
from the sleep of dead
and open my chest to take and impignorate to all the precious
flowers that I will keep my eye on them

while I master the language
and you master the art of gaze

I want to make something
that will make the ground underneath you hesitant
the human with the sad eyes
and the crippled thoughts
lonesome long tiered vicious walks
down the alleys of your broken jars
your wide is hallow
and incircling everything you lack trust in
I am the mirror image of the laws of lust
and my body its like dry wall, stagnant
unmoving no wavering
resistent and i am not to be spoken to

laws
mercy mercy
please abide by breaking them
when conjuring with society has reached
fatal destruction of ones own opinion
on how I should walk when my back hurts
and the wind is beating down on my chest
and making me far beyond physically sick
I prowl the arena of this panther
life life

and im dumbfounded walking sideways
trailing off and wailing off into
your absoloute cause

wonderland you are beautiful
wonderland you make me cry
land of wonder I shall craddle you
with all the infants the world has to offer
to lay you down and give you
the milk of my soul

and I am sifted on to the edge of the road
I'm diving into the state of being whole
when alone and subdued
cure without a cure
love without abuse
I build castles in the air
I reconsolidate and accomidate simple
translations of your finest trickery
into a meaning with no meaning
land turned into a molecule

on the tips of my goosebumps.

,

I walk the land of the other kind
only women who seem to have lost their right mind
would tarry in fruit other than theirs
and indulge as if they are them

sweet pulp running down the chins of all my objects
small objects
nectar filling me whole
I speak for women like
like me
who do things desirably
willingly, cascade torment
befell the hands of such little age
and quietness is the first stage
before we turn and move our arms lightly
breathe swiftly
come and go
come and go
stay
leave
then we leave
nothing can bring me to care
oh nothing nothing little master
deadly words
sharp laughter
discreet plans or no plans is just the same
in the book of not lies
but something else

move were life takes me
life life just take me there
takes me there
brings me here
upon the shore of a thousand different hearts
beating simultaneously
in the oven of my baking brain
thoughts pounding loud so loudly

in
out
in
out
in
out

I believe
I believe that I have conquered you

I walk the land of the other kind
I seem to have lost my mind

so this is it
crime and punishment
hidden under barries that are too silky for the normal hands to touch
if I tell, I might be saying too much
in this line seeps one
listen to this, the story has just begun
from time to time
suspision raises something more than infiltrating thought
crawling through a master mind of unbeliavble things
the kind of things you see in those dreams
that slipped your mind a few hours later, and you can never seem to grasp what it means
I see those familiar figures laughing in the fog
in murky grass ,blue skies and deep deep courtesy they lay
glass scatterd and this head goes astray
pack up, and leave I may

a melody is playing ever so lightly on those taught strings
it reminds , yes
it reminds me of all those unforgettable things

I will dig into the deepest heap, where we left our subtle reminders
of fishing down by the desert
rose palm
long gone
and all in all
to bring up broken hands
the ones we wave with ,hello
a deep purple kind of yellow
treading torwards the light blue water
before I remember when it wasnt that light
the sun hits my eye's
slumber awakens those cries
that drip drop with my permanent happiness
somewhere
I'm unaware

my auora is gentley grazing through a desert of foreign solitude
thank you for everything and I appreciate all the gratitude
but the choice has been made by me yet sometimes I realize this is not what I choose
dont take the diamond for granted child you have nothing to loose
these old buildings eat away at the rays of sun that peek through my window
the ones that wake me up in the morning
every day every day
patience is a virtue, okay okay
I have heard that saying an unbearable amount of times
but holding back this much should be a crime
I miss the sand under my feet
I miss my favorite ice cream store that use to be across the street
I miss the hole in the wall were we all use to meet
you disfavored the smallest iota, all to be taken away from an unbreakable scene
this that him her and everything else in between
I remember those hellos and all the things that went underneath the pale surface
now outside my window I hear a differant kind of circus
It almost sounds like it dosent have a purpose
The empty benches are a bit comforting though

thrashing through three predictions
dont let it **** you, you know the suspicion
yesterday I remembered it all, when I was sitting alone drinking half fake orange juice in the kitchen
funny I even began to listen
pausing the old tracks on a cassette player I borrowed from 1973
I warned you never to listen to me
my advice is good
the sky really is beautiful outside today
you know its good when you hear those poor kids laughing in such a light hearted way
remember that line from mr.jones were he says he wants to paint himself blue red black and gray
I picture myself painting the world like that over looking the ocean next to the cherry blossoms on that old bay
when we meet I would like to ask you over a million questions If I may
but then I will realize that I will never do that
cause that just not me
I dont like asking too many questions personally

A woman once said , honey you will die
one
thousand
times
before you get through me
and looking at things in that perspective I must agree
this whole mystery thing isnt easy
speak in deformed patterns so atleast I wont see
your trying to figure out who it is, this person,
this person named me
the song plays I stoped everything I was doing
and just sat to watch the sun dance in this marvelous way
its not moving no, but its dancing
the wind is blowing all the flowers and dandylions they are all dancing together too
how many times has the wind invited you
a lonesome creature it is getting rejected so
but I take advantage of it, I never let the oppurtunity go
what secrets about life it may whisper to your lips you never know
next time it invites you dont say no

I curl up into my softest femininity
and then drown myself in thoughts of warm skin
Im hanging off the balcony
the railing pushes into my stomach
and the sharp pain executes my hunger
but only briefly

I scent myself
with myself
and imagine the tasting of the ocean
the burning of salt water
in the eyes
in the wounds
cleanse
deeply into the barren core
suffocated by the surrounding of nothing but air

molecules trangressed
needing freedom
Im trapped in a jail cell
nobody can reach my hands

I have the key
who will persude me
to drench the curtains
rip them from shoulders
my legs
and my back

damp and heavy
forhead creases
cosmic realeses

joyous wonderful
contraversy breeds heavy sighs
between lover and victim


positioned in between the biting of lips
and the thunder of thighs

blue star, single handed
with a *** of gold
I reached out and spoke to the old
I went back to the last one and the last
all the places where my heart was almost sold
and I remember
by you, the split one I was told
you spoke so wise so bold
renered your eyes toward me and said
behold

and I
did

watched intently the love you scold
the fires that drenched our
household
with love

but still I was cold

it was the earth I wanted to hold
the shape of it I wanted to remold

but our thoughts are controlled
and us humans we unfold
to that which glitters
all that which is
gold

I am not a diamond
I am merely flesh and bones
filled with gravestones
and broken jawbones
blistered backbones
for reasons
that will maybe forever be
unknown

my hormones burst
in my in my bones
my thoughts release groans
and I love the sound of the tone

I am here,
alive
happy
and alone

your hair was long
eyes burnt like savage charcoal hanging
off the tunes that follows your voice when you speak
blindess carsses infant bones inside of me
you make me weak

pretty you moved like glitter in summer rain
your words were simple and plain
you sat like a indian sun child
everything around us somehow manipulated into nature
nothing was concrete
nothing was cement

nights and days I repent
the hours minutes seconds spent
on basking in the rain that built up
in front of your hands
drops fall off strands of hair
slowly
on to the ocean under us
purging lips

dive deep into uncharted mansions
somewhere between bones and hips

from your water I would take small sips
as I knew after our cups were empty
you would leave
or maybe I would

I got up to depart
she grabbed my wrist
at my skin she rips
shes slips
and unto her I grip

the yelling snaps like horsewhips
my heart beat skips
the anger settles
the images fill the film strips
my vocbulary slips
as femininity strips
and I think how I can no longer take this

minutes then roll off into bliss

there is a medium of loneliness
where I find you on sulken days
damp like thin paper
subdued in hues
your eyes run down my paintings
like a oil spill engraved on the face of the universe

morbidly beautiful I cast you on my bewildered
kite
I stare up at you
with shattered eyes
I reach for you like barren agony
and you come down to me

we meet in our empty land
we prance it like skipping heart beats
we cut it open like red meat
while the rest of the world is beneath our feet
we retreat

into forelorn seclusion
the place we loved after all the defeat
and to myself I repeat
and I repeat

how are you so stunning
that you casted my fixed gaze from the stars
brung my world to a standstill and everything
I held onto now falls
when I hear the beckoning of your gazes call

and I know that love though dark and endless
beautiful and agless

exsists after all

I will search for you in my little toy boxes
filled with old ancestors and sayings slipped from tongues, revealing stories of my birthmarks
I will search for you in the light
I will search for you in the dark

I will gentley remove my skin
in my mind you are so royal
so monarch

I will drink my water
all alone
I will light my candles
in the late night and imagine what would be the smell of your cologne
I will stare into the world at night until Im
****** and moonstoned

I will linger wax inbetween thigh bones
flirt tales with wishbones
until all the stars beg me to stop
uttering moans

I am beseeched in interlocking strangle
of submission to my loneliness
and waiting with a white transparent dress
on the bridge of london
hoping to see the dark eyes
that put light in the souls of the peasent in my
disabled heart, mused in desguise

should I sit here and speak the anecdotes
and the lies
of the littler girl inside of me
who everytime thinks of your dies
slower and slower
each time

the goodbyes
and the standbys

I reply
I have ran out of supplies
to fix my sunrise

and now I sit here in the absence of bright skies
life I see takes hold of the wise

but you see my lover
for you I shall be patient
I shall be humble

and I shall be kind.

I will love you the same
no matter who it is to blame
regardless of the persona you take
or the one I seem to attain
I will love you the same

in my heart perfectly my hatred for you I will frame
no matter the cruelties and the monsters I find in you
I will claim
I will love you the same

I will leave the disaster put away my pride
and my shame
In histories books they will mark our names
they will speak of what we became
how satan twisted his strings and played his games

its him taken form of humans I blame
who touched our fiery hearts with their blackened flames
then came the black pit from our stomachs we couldnt tame
cracked out and drunk on *******
can you explain what could have I possibly gained
from the flood of this pain
left my self in peices of grain
forbidden and unhumane
insane
and
mundane

my conciousness leaks down with the water
in the drain
I have become so numb
I cant even complain

I restrain from my
veins
I bleed to feel
the feeling of sane




at the end of the day Im left with nothing but stains
from the rain

and still
I will always love you the same

I passed the new york in your eyes notriously
before ever really speaking the language that they shrieked

the rigourus dimensions
the pale fingers speak
Im crisp
as the apple giving birth to her death
send your signals to me

fly seas
dance in breeze

remember the ****** when in her blackened tongue she speaks
fragility giving birth to her gritty skeletons
came to me one night and begged me to breathe
poetically told me it was me the universe seeks

not who they said I was
but to shed the hiding technique
the ill and sly words in my tongue raging to leak
the ordained freak and the memories
laying in the back of my mind somewhere,
those
those real antiques


Im a princess in the world of words itself
and the universe is my boutique
I brush the pink smile upon my cheek
and I grab what I want with the strength of ease

to my side I kick those ordinary bullies
and now Im watching them burn in the lowest average of these cities
I let my hair grow
wear bright colors
and dance the dance of the gipsies
I take life back further than the fifties
then further then the thirties

I run to the cemetary and mingle with that one zombie
the one who I let go of
and let him explain to me the details of my hidden worries

he tells me to let them go

I shoot the fatigued oldness in the heart with the spine of my arrow
I make loves to all my shadows
I hallow in my very mellow
state of mind
my intrinsic phsyco
my cronic rainbow

I dont need your superfiality
because as human I have won the mental lotto

I will love you the same
no matter who it is to blame
regardless of the persona you take
or the one I seem to attain
I will love you the same

in my heart perfectly my hatred for you I will frame
no matter the cruelties and the monsters I find in you
I will claim
I will love you the same

I will leave the disaster put away my pride
and my shame
In histories books they will mark our names
they will speak of what we became
how satan twisted his strings and played his games

its him taken form of humans I blame
who touched our fiery hearts with their blackened flames
then came the black pit from our stomachs we couldnt tame
cracked out and drunk on *******
can you explain what could have I possibly gained
from the flood of this pain
left my self in peices of grain
forbidden and unhumane
insane
and
mundane

my conciousness leaks down with the water
in the drain
I have become so numb
I cant even complain

I restrain from my
veins
I bleed to feel
the feeling of sane




at the end of the day Im left with nothing but stains
from the rain

and still
I will always love you the same

are we okay
will you hold me like you did that one day
speak to me like you did when we sat in the sultry cafe

kiss me like you did on that winter night in the driveway
my love...

are we okay

our cigerrete buds fill the ashtray
as we listen to the soothing beats of reggea
I remember you in the miday

darling...

are we okay

I sit and watch
not the passion
but the connection decay

the burdens outweigh
our clique
feminine
folkway

your fingerprints marked along every hallway
your lips scorn the evening of every friday
your pushing edge on every railway
our sweat on every roadway
your secrets replay in my head like a violin

finally
I have come to realization
of this heavy dismay

lover we are not okay.