taboo dances in the rich ***** rain
it falls onto my shoulders staining my skin
why does the sky call to me in such disturbing ways

I crawled up your wooden ladder to find the sun
I held my heart above the clouds and my head to the gun
and when thunder is striking beneath you
there is not many places you can go
or many places where you can run

my soul churns
at the glance of yours

the sky continues to
.
.
.
pour

perhaps I am nothing but a torn poet
bleeding my thoughts on some wet footsteps
somewhere in Brooklyn
writing words of a love being loved too much
of a love that was never satisfied
a love that was never enough

perhaps I am nothing but a wondering soul
bed ridden on some broken mattress in Ireland
drenched from the mouth at dawn
overlooking an ancient castle and wondering
how many women cheated on their husbands in its rooms

nothing more than a person responsible for a slower beating of many hearts
responsible for the faster pace of others
something smaller than a thin anxiety running through
the blood of someone I left
or of another person who will never understand me
of another who will never come to terms with me
of another who tore me
of another who did not love me the way I had wished

lavender breaks its seal in some of my mornings
waking me up from the dead with flushed cheeks
and other times rising to the song of the death still stitched in my
empty pupils

perhaps I am just another person who broke too many times
who was sifted on the blackest ground until I lost my mind.heart.soul.
and became nothing but a bottle full of words

nothing but someone who lets the coldness break with the warmth of whiskey.
and the fire of a greater pain

there is no beauty in the roses bud to me
the scent lasts no longer than the eager second I clip the stem
the colors of the flower have faded between my black and white stamina
and the green of the roots looses its personality

there is no way to explain infinite unattainable desire
stinging like the only beautiful thing in sight
the only thing that understands me in the flowers nature
her beautiful thorns
your beautiful mind

in which I wish to press my frozen fingers upon
even if that means bleeding
in the moment of risking to brake the cold within me

you cornered me wicked, mid drift in the high
consumed. bluntly exposed.
you placed your thin fingers upon my lips. staggered. bent.
begged me not to breathe
I call onto you like the ocean in heat
like nature in its furious cause to prove that
man has no power over her, that he does not have her cure
in his superficial thoughts that wake in midnights rising
in between yen hungry rich peasants

you have no remote dignity
you have all your pride buried above your blistering smile
that burns openly to my naked eyes in the honest sun
I see everything that makes you up
I see your nose that bleeds
I see your feeble state
and that God forsaken disease

you moved the core of my woman with the taboo
in the thin yet powerful essence that danced between
our darkest places
so hidden from the light
you turned me exhausted with matrimony
driven you blinded basked in your polygamy
and you do still
even when our eyes do not see each other
even when your hands cook feasts in the morning
for that beautiful woman I met

because of you a part of me has become exile and remote to myself
because of you I have become a foreigner to my most permanent assets
I loose myself simply within the thought of my smile bedded
beside your humble surrounding

I find it hard to sleep at night

you have created a positive energy within me
that gives birth everytime you linger in my presence
my womb explodes with your static blue
leaving permanent goodsebumps whispering
the deepest tales of forbidden love

my cheek has found its warm home on your chest
listening to your heart beat
my ears have longed for the noise of your life
flickering beneath me like my ghosts that burn
when you place your hand so simply upon mine

you are water to my soul spreading like
glowing beams of light through my frail body,
sustaining and giving me the power to open my eyes from deadly sleep

drag my being into infinte space and I, because of you
can light the darkest edge of the universe
you have given me the power of 10,000 burning suns

I feel that anything is possible, strangely enough
and for the first time I have placed a pressure
upon myself to become more of another human
full of hope and acceptence, you move me

there is a eager passion waging war inside of
my arms to fight any army to bring you near me
let me protect you. let me be the one to bring
you more sincerity if it be possible
can you be filled with more love
I want us to build our home with the seeds
we have found in each others secluded gardens

while I write the lines that make us beautiful
and you sing them with your trembeling voice

never could I touch the skin that wilted upon
your chest like my heart desired, for my heart was too fragile
I feared my soul would break, and leak all over your glittering skin.
I did not wish to contaminate you with the death that lived within me
in those distant and dark days. I did not wish for you to be a sponge.
nor my cigarette filter. My attempt was only to protect you from
myself.

what I feared most was seeing me in you.
seeing the bits and pieces of my soul that have been missing
hiding somewhere between your thumb and index finger in that warmth.

my poems repeat themselves in agony
they drag me along with them in suffice
I can't control this
its just that sometimes, I choose not to
but I can't


you move Saharan, I only wish you still did
dedicated to those who saw only the intro
never the middle
never the ending
I kiss your ankles

forgive me.

I would like if I could, to venture out
into a baroque cave where the walls are translucent
and all that surrounds it are rivers of coherence
and incoherence
where I can scream, and when my echoes
radiate they bounce off on me and touch
the spaces in between my fingers
bizarre and ornate
rococo chimes lift my spirit
progressive, regressive
subliminal rising, into the sea of whispers
and final decisions  
and crazed hands
and melting lips
and bruised knuckles
and fighting wrists...

I subsist to consist
of the fluid that makes me up
lavender barely breathing
flowers/continue/endure

hang tough, low by lakes of conspiracy
and hate/ block eyes/ shed those ill states

I carry this entity/essence/life gentely
in my arms like a ancestor. mother .
press its head against my skin and give it everything
in my blood filled hands, sinful/blessed/ tiered creatures
I feel beautiful in these worlds.

eyes closed in sleep, palms spread forth
oceans cleansing, I feel like an infant
stomach twists and hearts bat burnt wings
and learn to fly

I radiate.full hearted. eminence spoke to me
through her portal of solid grass and dieing trees
in the outskirts of the vagabond, slowly unraveling
like a child speaking
slowly growing like new love
stricken instantly
I am in
between Cleopatra and Mark
between Orpheus and Eurydice
between Odysseus and Penelope
between Elizabeth Bennett and Darcy
between Salim and Anarkali
I shiver in that love
that breathes in determent
and breathes out fragrance  
  

temperate plasma hooked onto
the grind of my woman I beat like
the robins breast/ trembling in awe
like a living leaf blowing in the winter wind
resisting/giving in/ perishing/ breathing
to the sound of this beautiful life