you are a form of poison
seeping through the rough edges in my mind
an immensity of nations I have brought out of this here.body.
to try and rid of the look in your eyes

your body moves swiftly on the ground
each step weighing a ton.you shake the ground beneath you.
and those surrounding you stop in awe. at the magnificent sight.
your exotic manhood. realistically condescending and ******.
you make me want to ***** and give me butterflies. simultaneously.

if I could sing my song, expand my lungs so that they explode
in the air fluttering around me like new born children
there would a girl standing at the end of the crowd crying
If I could play this tune on any instrument
I would make the hairs rise on the pores of some man
mourning his dead lover

you propose marriage

you dare caress the soft woman within me
you dare make some.almost.dead.suffocating. buried.dream.
a reality in my head once more you *******

you wrap around my pink finger like a sharp thread of Indian silk
you leave marks and my blood is not flowing properly
I can squeeze you with silence
I feel your body swell between my fingers
sweaty and frustrated

I see you sitting in your living room, lonely
so bent and out of shape. life's burden has came to you
with its heaviest distributer of pain. utter emptiness.
your forehead creases have become deeper
from endless nights of that deep hunger
the one that digs into your very soul
the one that makes you want to cut your stomach open
and stuff it with anything that will fill that empty void
that has taken its physical toll on your body

so you. the man that you are.
come to me. the woman that I am.
begging for that thing that you have lost.
the woman who gave you 4 nights of kisses.
shy looks,a nervous voice, blushed cheeks,a unpromising smile
and a very hasty departure

I picked up my imaginary wedding gown took off my
invisible Cinderella heels and ran like hell to the woods
after the day by the water you ranted
spoke in the tongue of a master
and I am no humans servant, you let the timid movement in my
hands deceive you of the power that strikes like a noble guardian

that day. you held my eyes in yours
and promised to never speak to me again if I did not get up
and leave with you. I retrieved what was mine, and did not hesitate to
shift a bone. silly of you to think that anyone can shake me
without my permission
maybe if you would have asked me passionately softly
rather than passionately angry
the past would be present. but our story did not unravel this way.

I cant lie. and say that you are not gifted.
you are in so many ways
you are a leader, and if you lived in ancient times
would be the head of any army. I see those lives that have lived
within you. old soul. broken. like me.

It almost hurts somewhere inside of me. to see a man of such
grace and honor fall apart in front of me like wood in  my
fireplace back home in the mountains on the coldest of winter nights.

I sit here fixating impossibility.convincing myself.
regardless of the promises you just made after 3 years.
You have been begging on your knees for so long
that I can see the bone coming out of the wounds.
You are leaking everywhere. your pride has crumbled beneath me.

I sit and think about how beautiful
the children we will never make
will be.

I should come in a locked incubus,
slammed with a appropriate warning label,
past figments of tender kisses and crazed lunatics
.

come here I point at you with my dramatic finger
you.come/ Eye contact becomes a form of survival.
Technique to **** the idle, melt your deepest fire.
Now I want you to listen to me carefully you much older.
you no more wiser than I/soul.
expand those ears that I'm sure have been deafened due
to all the screams that echo through them. The ghosts of
the ebony past. Drastic lights and mad art.
Thrusted naked upon my wall. You have been brought down.

I would like to give the benefit. But for the sake of this poem.
I will not. I'll taper with the thought of it. The slight burn that
disappeared before I noticed it was there. For the sake of a pretty
little write at the end of my night. by tomorrow morning I will not care.

listen to me intently

you who loved Esmeralda in Spain, Gypsy of dark colors
drenched in things I know nothing of. Curiosity that hummed
like a tempest. Challenging me like she always does. Has died out
in front of me as she always seems to do. prancing around at the right
moments bringing me back to my stone alter
I have ran out of words, I cant speak for things I did not receive.

listen to me closely
I wait for no none.

the vigor eases like a carcass meeting its soul mate
gently brought down to the home
all the wicked has been put to rest
and smiles flourish like cherry blossoms in japan
breeze brushes on the side of my sweaty neck
strands of hair in swirls along my back
.the incense burns. The smoke becomes an artist.
it has kept my attention more than most people can

somebody gives life
someone is having it taken away
dogs with cold feet, and felines who have too much
courage when entering your world
the present time, and how Sarah Palin is a *****
hopefully that construction on 595 will be done by the time
I get back, and something good will happen to someone

thoughts like that cross your mind when your on the ride
looking out the window focused on all the things you cant touch
humans who have turned into ants while trying to look for your house
thoughts slowly fade as the ex lover comes to mind
we have all tasted that wine. My glass is now empty.
brewed ripe and sweet, with agony for an aftertaste
I lick the sides. My lips are bruised with a charcoal red.
I ask the pretty flight attendant for another glass.

we fail in our aura of traumatic meetings
of ruby lips and a similar tone
wine and ****** up love songs that end
in desperation and a longing to hold one another
or perhaps something that has been so numbed out

a figure of a pale girl, blurry. all white.
she  feels nothing. but herself.
which is all she has left,
that
that is
all we
have left

If I remove myself and place my soul on some kind
of height
some altering place so that it is not mine anymore
it would look like you

generations have passed in what is really something
smaller than a peculiar year of very quite screams
and hidden agony, that would expose itself like
a mother who can no longer hold her tears in front of her children
we couldn't protect each other from that pain anymore

that has all turned into dust.

she drenched in the salt lake
her eyes scared by the city of bright lights, the homeless
the rich, faithful, and faithless. There is always a drought.
confined in the Romanesque heart of the men with hard ons,
and the women who just cant seem to get enough.
The white boys with baggy pants who drive by smelling like ****
and listening to some mainstream ******* that makes ordinary minds
even more ordinary.

The extravagant gay men - gorgeous- flamboyant witty and ridiculously critical
but yet have no restraints
The bull ****'s, the stems, the fems and the ones who have a few drinks
and want to touch something forbidden and then wake up
the next morning falling in love and realizing that maybe
they are not who they thought they were,
or leaving some obsessive uhaul with a broken heart

a scene infested with infestation
of a inner circle that screams something,
of noble drama, static eyes, drunken nights and high profile
love affairs, because nothing stays committed
but within the dysphoria breeds toxic secrets
ones that can break the body, like cold war hearts
shifted into a panorama of anorexia and bulimia
because too skinny is just never enough
bones are never enough
it had to go deeper then that.


heavy black eye liner, and steel pumps
unravel like skin heads out on the prowl of navy blue nights
looking for pretty new flesh, someone who has yet to be touched
because nobody wants the new girl after she is no longer new
the spotlight hits you, everyone wants to love you
everyone wants to *******, everyone is willing to backstab
the girl you choose every 2 weeks to get your attention
thats just how it works, I have been that girl
with eyes turned away I had to watch someone become that girl.painfully.
there is a segragation within the sub culture. Just when you thought
there was no such thing

converse and button up shirts
the right haircut and strong eye contact can get you any straight girl
at least thats what they would like to think, and for the most part
they are right

a man leans his head over to grunt
as the woman who is doing what she does to pay her rent
gives in like a weak human who just cant keep the lie anymore
who explodes with her barbaric truth and stains those figured
around her with uncaring eyes. There is no more sympathy.
you probably walked by her at the gay club last night.
yeah thats her covering up her sexuality like a vegan
who wears the fur of a polar bear around her neck
and gauts and gushes and purges and numbs herself out
because her selfishness has taken over her pride
because she has lost herself
because she is too broken

this is Miami she thought, why am I here
from sky vision it looks looks like a cess pool
of humans trying to latch on to something that does not exist
of business men who are not getting what they deserve
of kids who are growing up to the sound of lady gaga
and some other ****** up quote on quote artist

and then I found what I never thought I would find here
some kind of starved meaning, leaning on the street corner
like a dieing baby
sitting in the trash can like some left over rice
barely surviving

an energy that is struggaling to keep its eyes open
a community of expolsive minds trying to fight out
these scenes and living in their own worlds