thrashing through three predictions
dont let it **** you, you know the suspicion
yesterday I remembered it all, when I was sitting alone drinking half fake orange juice in the kitchen
funny I even began to listen
pausing the old tracks on a cassette player I borrowed from 1973
I warned you never to listen to me
my advice is good
the sky really is beautiful outside today
you know its good when you hear those poor kids laughing in such a light hearted way
remember that line from mr.jones were he says he wants to paint himself blue red black and gray
I picture myself painting the world like that over looking the ocean next to the cherry blossoms on that old bay
when we meet I would like to ask you over a million questions If I may
but then I will realize that I will never do that
cause that just not me
I dont like asking too many questions personally

A woman once said , honey you will die
one
thousand
times
before you get through me
and looking at things in that perspective I must agree
this whole mystery thing isnt easy
speak in deformed patterns so atleast I wont see
your trying to figure out who it is, this person,
this person named me
the song plays I stoped everything I was doing
and just sat to watch the sun dance in this marvelous way
its not moving no, but its dancing
the wind is blowing all the flowers and dandylions they are all dancing together too
how many times has the wind invited you
a lonesome creature it is getting rejected so
but I take advantage of it, I never let the oppurtunity go
what secrets about life it may whisper to your lips you never know
next time it invites you dont say no

I curl up into my softest femininity
and then drown myself in thoughts of warm skin
Im hanging off the balcony
the railing pushes into my stomach
and the sharp pain executes my hunger
but only briefly

I scent myself
with myself
and imagine the tasting of the ocean
the burning of salt water
in the eyes
in the wounds
cleanse
deeply into the barren core
suffocated by the surrounding of nothing but air

molecules trangressed
needing freedom
Im trapped in a jail cell
nobody can reach my hands

I have the key
who will persude me
to drench the curtains
rip them from shoulders
my legs
and my back

damp and heavy
forhead creases
cosmic realeses

joyous wonderful
contraversy breeds heavy sighs
between lover and victim


positioned in between the biting of lips
and the thunder of thighs

blue star, single handed
with a *** of gold
I reached out and spoke to the old
I went back to the last one and the last
all the places where my heart was almost sold
and I remember
by you, the split one I was told
you spoke so wise so bold
renered your eyes toward me and said
behold

and I
did

watched intently the love you scold
the fires that drenched our
household
with love

but still I was cold

it was the earth I wanted to hold
the shape of it I wanted to remold

but our thoughts are controlled
and us humans we unfold
to that which glitters
all that which is
gold

I am not a diamond
I am merely flesh and bones
filled with gravestones
and broken jawbones
blistered backbones
for reasons
that will maybe forever be
unknown

my hormones burst
in my in my bones
my thoughts release groans
and I love the sound of the tone

I am here,
alive
happy
and alone

your hair was long
eyes burnt like savage charcoal hanging
off the tunes that follows your voice when you speak
blindess carsses infant bones inside of me
you make me weak

pretty you moved like glitter in summer rain
your words were simple and plain
you sat like a indian sun child
everything around us somehow manipulated into nature
nothing was concrete
nothing was cement

nights and days I repent
the hours minutes seconds spent
on basking in the rain that built up
in front of your hands
drops fall off strands of hair
slowly
on to the ocean under us
purging lips

dive deep into uncharted mansions
somewhere between bones and hips

from your water I would take small sips
as I knew after our cups were empty
you would leave
or maybe I would

I got up to depart
she grabbed my wrist
at my skin she rips
shes slips
and unto her I grip

the yelling snaps like horsewhips
my heart beat skips
the anger settles
the images fill the film strips
my vocbulary slips
as femininity strips
and I think how I can no longer take this

minutes then roll off into bliss

there is a medium of loneliness
where I find you on sulken days
damp like thin paper
subdued in hues
your eyes run down my paintings
like a oil spill engraved on the face of the universe

morbidly beautiful I cast you on my bewildered
kite
I stare up at you
with shattered eyes
I reach for you like barren agony
and you come down to me

we meet in our empty land
we prance it like skipping heart beats
we cut it open like red meat
while the rest of the world is beneath our feet
we retreat

into forelorn seclusion
the place we loved after all the defeat
and to myself I repeat
and I repeat

how are you so stunning
that you casted my fixed gaze from the stars
brung my world to a standstill and everything
I held onto now falls
when I hear the beckoning of your gazes call

and I know that love though dark and endless
beautiful and agless

exsists after all

I will search for you in my little toy boxes
filled with old ancestors and sayings slipped from tongues, revealing stories of my birthmarks
I will search for you in the light
I will search for you in the dark

I will gentley remove my skin
in my mind you are so royal
so monarch

I will drink my water
all alone
I will light my candles
in the late night and imagine what would be the smell of your cologne
I will stare into the world at night until Im
****** and moonstoned

I will linger wax inbetween thigh bones
flirt tales with wishbones
until all the stars beg me to stop
uttering moans

I am beseeched in interlocking strangle
of submission to my loneliness
and waiting with a white transparent dress
on the bridge of london
hoping to see the dark eyes
that put light in the souls of the peasent in my
disabled heart, mused in desguise

should I sit here and speak the anecdotes
and the lies
of the littler girl inside of me
who everytime thinks of your dies
slower and slower
each time

the goodbyes
and the standbys

I reply
I have ran out of supplies
to fix my sunrise

and now I sit here in the absence of bright skies
life I see takes hold of the wise

but you see my lover
for you I shall be patient
I shall be humble

and I shall be kind.