Her hair, I’m seeing the white bathroom
And on her beautiful head
Long, auburn and curly
I don’t remember anything
But the desire for closeness
Innocence and the bonds of womanity
She worried for me, about me, wanted to help me
Lips pressed against my child brow
Warm I was, and so thrilled
This is what I want to be
And my daddy bought monkey brains
Doors close, windows open and I still peer in
Then and now
We eat them down the hill, in the green, to the car.
Bliss for togetherness

I was looking at this picture of a woman
And my thoughts were, She’s wearing overalls
She exists, or has existed.  Her Body, her Soul
And there were words too
A familiar man spoke some tender sounds
I felt the reassuring reverb and felt like this is it
I know him somewhere
And this woman he knows too, but not me, not really
I’m shaped by him, his mind is glass
Letting all light, all dark pour in
And that feeling, overwhelming
too sacred for the words I’ve learned
speak to me, speak about her, and on behalf of us all
Something we cannot comprehend
The human ear hears not the whisperings of who he is
Each sound is a wave and it must crack upon uneven shores
Too much here
Something has left my life.

Within these months a reality grew
An ignorance filled with beauty and pain
But I guess that’s what this life means
A balance
A newness
I’ve met my other side and taken it in
And with each breath I feel the waves change
Fluorescence
It’s my bane and my exhilarating birth
Into this new life of understanding
The most Beautiful ends with the most breaking,
Telling of natures
He never will know?
He may if he gives the time to take
From this breast of mine
Which he has betrayed
Like the yellow and the blue
The things I’ve always loved have left me in this state




I’m loving every other moment
He’s more than cats and dogs
Even though he wears a mask he loves me
I’ve never seen lips more willing
To tell me
Exposing every smile
That he knows
What if he’s not from this world?
I wouldn’t want to meet someone who was.

Just this time
And maybe one more

My brother, sweet and new
He knows nothing of this world yet
So new to life, still breathing in
these wafting breaths
Water can we not live without, yet stumbling
Needing the poison of a thousand years
Death must come and nothing breaking
My eyes! That green!
What happened to Erika?
I heard she’s met her mate
And lived happily
Ever after
This dream is my Wake
I’m just a part of this world. And I miss them so much.
They had blond hair as children and I’m blind.
The color of tree bark was mine.
how hard it must be to be his Sister.
And she scolded.
I cried because of this tenderness that follows brotherhood.
Will he ever know?
His eyes are covered like the blindness I’ve received.
I guess this impairment brings sympathy.
In time, a baby from a child.

My worst, my true, my end
Has the best be falsified?
The most beautiful
This ride, my pride
I walk the night and see the light
I fall, I wade to higher tides
To drown in __, in glory.
My right to flail in this new...
Equilibrium
It’s my Apotheosis
After my dawn and sunset rise
This place among these tides
Where emptiness finds its eternal round
And grips the place where I have fallen
Among the thorns and softness of arms waiting
To love oneself and  
...
I’ll never be that One upon the wall.
I’ve chosen this Life
and this Fall
This smoke signal from God
To live among this recklessness
Without a friend, without a foe
I am myself
One with the Rocks, upon the Throne of
My Apotheosis

melting into soil
souls pass

and their fathers take them by hand
call them by name,

before blackness fades and they are no more

at the end of it
the end of GIN
sweet botanicals!
how you fill my soul with rain and my heart with heat
a lifeblood for the courageous
drink GIN