The heart pumps borrowed blood
a celestial transfusion
Banished to terrestrial life
One step from outer darkness

Prophet, Liar, and Revelator

She went off, thinking:
This will be it, the ultimate
If I succeed, theyll know for sure im worth it
And at the end of a year and some months, ill know it
And he’ll wait

But will he?
Can i prove my worth through the minutes he sits alone
through the weeks he waits for my letters
And at the end of it say that i am the one
and he waited
and waited

Then Ill know

But she comes back like, This Conversation is Over
More belittled than before, with half the vigor
Forgotten and isolated
abandoned by herself

IM SO FAT!
Can you believe how disgusting this is…
And they are so ***** there,
My fate is concealed in the the dishsoap wiping away
the grease and disaster

Home is solitude
and multitude
It’s the brief moments of alone-ness behind the veil of entrapment


He came and waited, anticipating the kiss
From the moment he saw my shirt to the moment he hit the ground, his thought was
Ali.

And he waited.

The numbers and letters mean nothing contrasted with the poverty
to live alone in the trailer and the border of all things,
personified by the silver lashings and Quick Tongue of the survivors
whose memory has been lost in the words of others, in another tongue
they live to tell the story of their fathers, but of my fathers?
the words are thin
spread too long against the grain of rocks and stones in a foreign land.
and the song they sung lost its echoes long before my feet touched the soil  
they worked until death

And again i see the face— the blond hair, the blue eyes (I think they’re eyes, eye think they’re blue)
and he stares stares stares and reminds
reminds of the life we had together
privileged and without despair
although i did shun him once
and every day
everyday shun
but forgives and forgives again because of what we do in secret:
that which no one may know but us

that my kindness in oneness masks the fear of what i face:
the faces, each one

each staring and behind them

there is something more, and it perceives all


take me back to the place of unwatered rock and the soil with a complicated past.

GOOD girl what a good girl good girl who’s a good girl
and she sat and took it


She’s the one who looked into their eyes and said
hey this what we are going to do and who cares
come if you want
if you dont wait its ok
tooo
because ill be alone here and fighting for my chance to feel the wind and the glitter
and the glue
life is the meaning of art
and the meaning of art is leave me the **** alone im a person

after living this way for so long a person starts to feel like what the **** man **** **** ****
*******

and thats basically the story of life
and how life began and where life will end
and when a person dies they give up the ghost
the ghost of course is a supernatural force that lives within the soul of a person
yes, beneath the soul, but over the heart
because the heart pumps blood of course
it is essential to keeping the body alive
and the brain is the body
and the thoughts come from the brain
so please keep me alive so the brain drain and the heart collide and keep me from blackness

If you don’t love me, you’re better than that
flesh against flesh, the sheer beatings of the drum of human skin, stretched across the frame of our bones and desire

beating, beating together in a race against boredom
its the source and the result
God’s own trick of the tongue, the teeth and the lips

Be together to create one, or divide two

i breathe
and the little glimmers of artificial light
are also real
hand on a white wall
felt for the first time

was once old has become as new as each night
a passing phase so pure, it´s remembrance
of that which faded once, is made new with the blood of a new generation
yet an everlasting pain,
so clean it can not be forsaken
each night asleep
dreams pass me by in pursuit of this Everlasting
for i can remember once, I too had dreams
I dreamt of something more than my solitude, but within the shadows of familiarity,
community, blood, and fortune
a peace so easily overlooked, it meant so little to those who sought power
For I found grace, somewhere the sun shines diffused amongst all that which means beauty
Radiance: clean, with a purpose  
a pain so true it rents me
every hour a sinew fades
becomes what I was
becomes what will happen
when fortune also fades, and eternity reaches round
the end was the beginning
the start came only halfway
and i am left in the wake of what will be and never will be
a place reserved for that wooden cradle by the sea wrapped in wool

it happened once, it can happen again
I'm sure of it
I'm sure
the source of All Longing
is that cradle

(it was the sea kissing the shore that did it
the sweet grasses in the bitter wind
white as the snow, the rocks  
drifting through memory
the only truly honorable
found themselves on these shores
looking into that vessel
it meant so much
enough  to live and to die
enough to fight and give in
surround and protect,
overcome at the end of all things
this Holy Ground; its fading from me)